Brother and girlfriend copying my business?

[jimbojool]

I’m feeling really upset and conflicted about something and could use some advice. My brother and his girlfriend have decided to start the same type of business as me—selling women’s fashion, shoes, accessories, and scarves online through TikTok Shop. I haven’t told anyone about my business I’ve kept it to myself and my family because I had a hard year and wanted to keep this to myself and work on it for myself by myself. I only ever shared details about my business with her out of courtesy, for my brother’s sake, so things wouldn’t be awkward in the family when they got together. Now, I feel it’s a bit disrespectful that they’re choosing to do exactly what I do.

I’ve worked so hard to keep my business, my ideas, and my suppliers private to protect what I’ve built. So for her to now step into the same industry feels really close to home, and it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s also hard because I can no longer be open about my business at home, even around my own family, as I feel like I need to keep everything guarded.

To make it worse, my mum—who’s also my business partner—has been helping my brother and even giving him advice, despite knowing how upset I am. When I told her how much this affects me, she said she can’t promise she won’t share certain things about my business with him. I find this incredibly hurtful and disrespectful, especially coming from someone so close to me.

It’s not that I don’t want them to do well; I’ve even suggested they try something completely different. They have no experience in this industry and, honestly, my brother doesn’t even care about TikTok or women’s fashion—it’s entirely his girlfriend’s idea. They’ve only been together for nine months, and while I do like her, I don’t see her as someone close enough to me to justify this.

The whole situation feels awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t want to cause a family rift, but I also feel like my boundaries have been crossed. How do I handle this?

By business partner she has ownership in the business

What do you actually mean? She's given you money?

What sort of profit are you making? Presumably she wants to support her son as well-is she giving him money, too!

Everyone and their auntie is doing tiktok shop at the moment, you've not got a monopoly on it.

Yes it's shit what your mum has done, but TT shop is hardly trade secrets.

If you can afford it, give your mum her investment back and take all the information you can away from her. This is so disrespectful and it probably will end up benefiting his gf by the sound of it, who he may stop going out with tomorrow.

Economist and small business owner here.

If your business isn't robust enough to handle a wee bit of competition then it WILL fail.

Also, if YOU aren't robust enough to handle the idea that another human being might be selling fashion on TickyTok then you WILL fail.

The market will determine if your business is successful or not. Time to put your big girl pants on and get over yourself.

If you fall apart at such a small hurdle as this one then how the hell are you gonna handle staffing issues, cash flow problems, bad customers, the tax man, crap suppliers, quality control issues, delivery problems, premises, investors, technology problems etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

You can remove your DM as a director of the business for a failure in her duties to the business. But I'm guessing you don't really want to do that - and that, in a nutshell, is the problem with mixing business and family. Or you can buy her out and return her investment. Or you can just not tell her anything any more and wait for all this to play out. If your brother and GF don't actually know what they're doing, they're unlikely to be much competition anyway and will probably bail/get bored/go broke in fairly short order.

I hope as an economist agd business owner, you’ve realised that the OP’s biggest problem is the fa t her mum, her BUSINESS PARTNER, has been giving insider infirmation to the brother, aka their COMPETITOR

As an economist, Im surprised it’s not the first thing that jumped out to you tbh

Your mum is the problem here.

You need to either get into a family business all together, or she needs to keep her mouth shut about your business when chatting to your brother. This may mean she has to be removed as a director of the business and just be a sleeping partner.

Any business has a small window of opportunity to make money and then very quickly innovate and move on before someone else sees what you are doing and copies… or does it better/cheaper/faster. If it wasn’t your brother it would be someone else.

May be he has done you a favour and this will give you the motivation to drive your business forward?

If your mum is an actual business partner then she’s a bit stupid really to give tips to a competitor (your brother).

She can't. Because her mum is passing on her ideas and strategies to another company.

OP - you need to lose your mum as a business partner. She is AT THE VERY LEAST clueless about how businesses like this run.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

I think they've all been really shitty to do this but it looks like I'm in the minority.

@HollyBerryz no you’re not, I agree. TikTok shop maybe not be the most innovative idea ever but it sounds like OP is working hard to build up a business - why should the brother and his gf benefit from that?

I feel your mother might just be your leak in relation to why your brother and his girlfriend have decided to open up a copy of the Tiktok shop to the one you're opening.

I think we can call off Inspector Morse on that one. Ditch your mother as a business partner as she clearly values your brother's success over yours.

Find someone else to go into business with you or find a different business to set up.

Thank you for your input. I completely agree that the market will ultimately determine the success of any business, and I’m confident in the strength and uniqueness of what I’ve built. This isn’t about being unable to handle competition; it’s about feeling like personal boundaries have been crossed when someone close to me starts replicating my business model after I’ve shared details in trust.

I’ve dealt with plenty of challenges—cash flow, suppliers, quality control, and more—and I’ve overcome them to create a business I’m proud of. This situation isn’t about falling apart at a hurdle; it’s about navigating an uncomfortable dynamic within my family. I’m addressing it because trust and boundaries are important in any relationship, personal or professional.

As for my mum, she’s been a supportive partner who contributed financially early on and helped with admin, but I’ve done the majority of the work myself. It’s not about the money—her support has been invaluable, but I feel hurt when that same support is extended to my brother in a way that feels like it’s at the expense of my boundaries.

I appreciate your perspective and agree that focusing on my own business is the way forward. I’ll continue to concentrate on what I can control and ensure my business remains strong, regardless of what others do.

I’ve always kept my business to myself, even from some of the closest people in my life. The only ones I’ve shared it with are my family. So, as much as I like my brother’s girlfriend and have welcomed her into the family, I feel blindsided by her decision to start the same kind of business after I specifically asked her to keep what I do private.

They’ve had every opportunity to choose something else but instead have decided to pursue an industry they’ve never worked in, using my hard work as a shortcut to start up. It’s not just about the business itself—it’s about the emotional impact this has on me and the effort I’ve put in over the years. To some people, it might just be a TikTok shop, but there’s so much work and strategy behind it.

What hurts the most is that I’ve purposely kept my business private, because I wanted this to be something I built for myself. And now, someone I’ve only known for nine months, who I trusted, has decided to piggyback on my success without considering how this might affect me.

@jimbojool you need to just repay your mum any invstment she made and carry on yourself. lock up your computer and deny her access. change account passwords, even bank, so she has no access. she has breached confidentiality!

@jimbojool I really feel for you as this is difficult to navigate.

Your Mum is split in two she loves both her children and wants to help them equally. She invested in your business and provided admin, and potentially emotional support, and she wants to do the same for her other child.

Where your Mum maybe crossing the line is giving away the contacts you have built up and your strategy etc.

I think you need to think very carefully about what is feasible. Can you run the business day to day and your Mum becomes an investor only? Can you buy her out of the business either in full or in stages?

You need to have a business meeting with you Mum be clear it’s not a family chat e.g. Have a typed agenda. Acknowledge all she has done for you and that you are grateful. Explain you understand she wants to help DB but there is a line between helping him like she helped you and compromising your business by effectively giving him shortcuts based on your hard work.

I suspect it took you time to build the business so explain to your Mum that whilst DB was in paid employment you had little income as you built the business. It cost time to find suppliers, if you can quantify it e.g. x hours research on line, x hours building relationship, planning your social media, determining your USP etc. in business terms giving all this information to DB for free is not good business.

I would also add you learnt a lot in doing this and if your DB doesn’t go through this process he could make some mistakes later down the line. Agree where you can help e.g. name of web designer, but not suppliers and most definitely not your ideas.

One option you could consider is suggesting to your Mum that DB creates a franchise of your business. This would however require them to pay you and would have to agree to protect your brand. It would give you control over their product.

McDonalds is a good example of a franchise. Each one may be owned by someone different but the look and feel means they look like one business.

You would need to get legal advice but it could be a solution that protects your brand and gives you income. DB may not like it but it is a reasonable solution that your Mum may support.

Of course there’s going to be a fall out from this. Your brothers girlfriend is basically being giving a full framework of an existing and successful business. Your mother is being incredibly naïve and I would be furious.

You need her out of your business.

would a partnership be possible but keep your profits from your sales separate ? then it seems like your being part of the family

Google ‘intellectual property’ and make yourself very aware of what it is and what it means. Then have a meeting with your mother.

OP you blame your DB's GF but the problem isn't her it is your DM. If she wasn't involved DB and GF would have to do their own footwork and build their own connections that way they would build a different business and not infringe on yours.

Is it a formal legal partnership with your DM? If so did you get advice on the business structure? My accountant told me in no uncertain terms to not go into a partnership, they are often very difficult to navigate and don't always suit retail businesses all that well.

If you are in a formal arrangement with your DM she needs to act professionally and not like a mother or the partnership dissolved. It's the only way to stop this.

@jimbojool I have a business full time and I would be very pissed off too -especially if they were replicating your format- I would also be 'having words ' with your mum

Your brother, GF and mum have behaved atrociously. OK, brother and GF setting up the same business might not be illegal, but it's really fucking disrespectful and self serving. Your mum has been really stupid to help him down this path. She should have said at the outset not to replicate your business.

I don't know what the solution is. Maybe to hope they get bored or split up? I would limit contact with them anyway. What they have done is low.

Issue isn’t your brother and his gf the issue is your mum telling your confidential business information frankly.

it isn’t on especially not suppliers etc. if you haven’t already get something drawn up regarding your business agreement.

stop sharing business info with her and have her over for a proper chat. If she won’t agree then you need to make sure she doesn’t have any new info to share.

@22nws that's how I would feel too and I suspect anyone on here who actually owns a proper business might feel - especially one based on ideas and contacts