Brother and girlfriend copying my business?

[jimbojool]

I’m feeling really upset and conflicted about something and could use some advice. My brother and his girlfriend have decided to start the same type of business as me—selling women’s fashion, shoes, accessories, and scarves online through TikTok Shop. I haven’t told anyone about my business I’ve kept it to myself and my family because I had a hard year and wanted to keep this to myself and work on it for myself by myself. I only ever shared details about my business with her out of courtesy, for my brother’s sake, so things wouldn’t be awkward in the family when they got together. Now, I feel it’s a bit disrespectful that they’re choosing to do exactly what I do.

I’ve worked so hard to keep my business, my ideas, and my suppliers private to protect what I’ve built. So for her to now step into the same industry feels really close to home, and it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s also hard because I can no longer be open about my business at home, even around my own family, as I feel like I need to keep everything guarded.

To make it worse, my mum—who’s also my business partner—has been helping my brother and even giving him advice, despite knowing how upset I am. When I told her how much this affects me, she said she can’t promise she won’t share certain things about my business with him. I find this incredibly hurtful and disrespectful, especially coming from someone so close to me.

It’s not that I don’t want them to do well; I’ve even suggested they try something completely different. They have no experience in this industry and, honestly, my brother doesn’t even care about TikTok or women’s fashion—it’s entirely his girlfriend’s idea. They’ve only been together for nine months, and while I do like her, I don’t see her as someone close enough to me to justify this.

The whole situation feels awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t want to cause a family rift, but I also feel like my boundaries have been crossed. How do I handle this?

Are you ok @Knowitall69?

Who are you shouting at in your last few posts, you're just sharing the same link repeatedly without tagging anyone 😬

Actually she is my mother and my best friend. We are super close. How can my mother not be my best friend? I don’t think you know our relationship?

I didn’t really want to talk about my business to anyone but we are a close family and my brothers gf kept asking my brother what I do for work and where am I etc, he said it’s getting awkward now. So I sat with her told her for my brothers sake. I asked her to keep it to herself and now she’s wanting to do the same. This is what I’m struggling with as I only told her for my brothers sake. As time as gone on she asked me questions and I feel like my family is my safe space but she’s now choosing to do what I’m doing after sharing everything.

All of the PP saying "she is his mother too", yes she is and she should have said to him that his behaviour was very hurtful towards OP and a little strange as healthy families don't tend to try and oneup each other....

Honestly the amount of people who seem to think it's acceptable to s**t on your own doorstep is unreal... Until it happens to them of course

because she is a parent 1st yes you can be close but she is your mother her loyalty lies to all her children as she is the mother not as your friend.

That is awful. So she pushed and pushed to get your private information and then decided to directly copy you, getting your Mum to give your business info to help her. That is the very definition of a CF.

I think she saw you were making a living doing something that from the outside seemed easy work and wanted the same without doing the work. I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts to realise it’s not as easy as it looks.

I think she roped in DB to get your Mum on board. I would be asking your Mum to make sure DB has a full partnership in the business as wouldn’t it be awful if they broke up and she ripped him off.

You seem to have confused “close family” with not having any boundaries. That applies to you, your DM and your DB. No idea why one or indeed all of you didn’t just tell the girlfriend that it’s none of her business and to stop asking questions about it.

As I understand it:
Your mum helped fund your business set up
She now assists her time etc giving you a hand (unpaid I assume?)
You are the one with the business idea and the person finding and building relationships with suppliers etc, you mum is doing the grunt work?

If that is the case then it's incredibly disloyal for your mum to be giving away details of your suppliers, which is your hard work, she's giving them a massive short cut.

If she's helping them with money and free labour then that's different, that's hers to give away. But she has no right to give away your hard work.

You missed the poster’s point:

Your mum isn’t going to stop sharing this information with your brother because he is her child and she wants him to be successful too. No matter how super close you are to her, she isn’t going to choose you over him in terms of keeping quiet about your business. She would be happy for you both to use the same suppliers etc.

But just to entertain you missing the point, best friends don’t do this to each other. Best friends would listen to your point of view and adjust their behaviour to make you happy. Your mum is telling you tough, her relationship with her son is more important than your business operating independently. She would prefer to share the resources instead of maintaining confidentiality.

Perhaps the mother could maintain confidentiality for both of them?

That way everybody is happy and no relationship needs to suffer.

Of course her mother could, but she doesn’t want to. It’s in the OP.

Therefore she intends to continue as she is, so a step for OP to consider would be reviewing the business relationship as perhaps mum isn’t a suitable business partner.

Perhaps she should re-evaluate what she tells her mum if confidentiality isn't a priority for a parent and adjust accordingly.

Unfortunately the relationship dynamic will change.

You have a problem with your mother and its not good business sense to help a competitor but that ships sailed even if you froze her out she already knows everything to pass along which could potentially sink your business .
You say your brother isn't that interested and it's mainly his very new girlfriends venture what if they split up is your mother happy tanking your business for this woman ? I assume you live in the same area aswell which could complicate matters further