Would I be crazy to stay in a 40k role instead of a 75k?!

[worklifedilemma]

On the surface I know YES looks wild...

Here's the dilemma:

I'm a mum to 3 primary age DC, currently in a FT role 40k per year. It's remote mostly with very occasional travel into London (1-2x a month) - I live west of London, very rural, around 1hr30 door to door. It's also technically a self-employed contract which means I can pop expenses onto my tax assessment etc. Also qualify for child benefit etc. I'm a middle manager at a private company, in case that helps context.

Not yet formally offered but going well a side side step career wise (no people management and stand alone), but in a more 'money' direction. (Comparable to say moving from criminal law to corporate - just more money in certain niches). £75k, PAYE. Obviously better pension wise etc as I only have my own self employed one at the moment. Almost double the money at £75k, but where it's PAYE no tax relief on expenses, which would be higher as they would want me in their London HQ 2-3 days per week. This is also longer days and would have to ensure we could make it work with childcare. So my overall expenses would be much higher, job much more taxing due to travel and time in office, and I'd lose child benefit. This would make my take home (after travel) around £400 ish more a month.

Just can't figure out if that £400 is worth the extra work/time/travel less time with the kids etc? Long term career I guess so.

Any words of wisdom? Any thoughts on what you would do if it were you?

What would the cost of childcare be? As it is a hybrid role it could be feasible for now giving you some stability and flexibility to make plans for when they are ready for secondary school. If you have more experience then perhaps another job could work better for that phase.

I have the same dilemma and chose to earn less for an quiet, flexible wfh job for good employers instead of a busy commuting to the city job where I could earn double.

@LokiCroc thats interesting - are you happy with the decision?

I’d go with the 40k one for definite but I know most people I know would call that nuts (only because have been job hunting and when I’ve said about commutes and time with kids they’ve always said ‘but it’s more money!’)

I am happy where I am and I get other benefits like flexible wfh and not too busy. Having been overworked and over stressed in other organisations I know I have it good where I am. Most employees stay until they retire and then came to Xmas dos after retirement which imo says a lot about the owners.

I also hate commuting, love wfh.

Yeah I do love working from home and worry that ‘home life’ would fall behind if wasn’t around as much.

ahhh! Such a hard decision. Feel like I won’t be happy either way at this point 😂

Erm…. Don’t you count as employed under IR35 rules? If you’re self-employed you have to be doing work for more than one workplace

@curious79 you can be self employed and only hold a contract with one company so that’s not really relevant.

IR35 I don’t think applies as no umbrella business I operate as a sole trader in terms of tax.

Regardless of those two things yeah I’m pretty sure the business is still acting illegally and I should be an employee, as I am treated like one (expected work hours, paid time off etc)

as far as drips go… this is pretty bloody huge!

You said others he earns £80k a year but his business is still failing “I mean failing!”)?

So you’re underpaid and with a shady business and you’ve only been there 6 months

meanwhile your dh is self employed but his business is failing

you have three very young children, live very rurally and have one car

Even writing that out makes me feel stressed. This seems like years of pretty poor decision making and whilst i think the £75k a year job will be hell ish for you… i think your family finances leave you with zero choice but to take it

First page or two i was thinking 'stay where you are' but another couple of pages I was thinking 'take it'. I think the fact that your current job is not stable and your dh's business is failing are major factors. The pension is also a HUGE deal (being 55 it is on my mind).

What I can't see here is your dh's opinion on the undoubted increased requirements on him. Do you think he will genuinely step up? Even if they insist on 3 days? Given that it's him who loves being miles from anywhere? What adjustments can you make?

£200 in your pocket is not nothing though I think in your case I would try to save most of it.

Maybe, since you have another year of work, negotiate on the days in the office and be prepared to walk away if it's their hard line (though tbh that is increasingly becoming the minimum). And then do a serious proactive job search, focusing particularly on companies that are easier to get to.

I'd push back on the days in the office. That's the only bit that doesn't work for you, the rest, higher salary, pension, sick pay etc is worth taking into account, the overall package is much better than you have currently.
Also yes it's might limit your DHs options for a few years but you supported him in taking the risk of setting up his own business, it's your turn to pursue something you will find interesting and has progression.

You need security. I’d take the better paid job.

Where did I say he earned 80k? He definitely doesn’t

@PermanentTemporary he would say go for it, but I don’t think that’s what he would mean if you see what I mean. He’s quite liked the setup that we’ve had (until his business issues) where he was ‘provider’ and I was ‘primary carer’ but as I said previously having been through a messy divorce and having had to start again at a relatively young age I’d be wary (especially with the kids) of spending my whole life supporting his career. I’ve done it for the nearly 10 years we’ve been together already and I don’t really feel like doing it much more.

Our finances aren’t an issue at the moment - the business has 6 months runway (him paying himself bare minimum so that our bills can be covered) and he has savings he could access if push came to shove. But he’s already looking at taking on a few days a week as a contractor to bridge the gap with a few things in the pipeline.

my mistake

so five people
one failing business
£40k full time worker
one car
very rural

Move
Husband goes back to work
You get a better paid job locally

Current situation sounds hellish

I think yes pushing back on office days will make a big difference. Even 2 would be okay instead of 3.

It’s just such a step salary / career wise - and if I want to get there there’ll have to be some sacrifice?!

Oh I don’t know. Most of me wishes I’d done this before kids and then I wouldn’t have to try and climb the ladder now 😅

@allaboutsign moving wouldn’t be an option for at least a year. Wouldn’t get a mortgage close to what we have/need until DH is back in normal employment.

@worklifedilemma haven't rtft so apologies if this has already been asked - is there any scope for doing part time in the new job? If so, would that lessen commute expectations from the new employer ie only once a week? Or could you compress hours and chop a day off there? (Appreciate you said it's longer hours though so might not be feasible)

@daisyelle it’s something I could ask but I’m not sure how likely! If I could condense it into 4 days that would be ideal but I don’t know what the likelihood is.

I could do the job in condensed hours (think project work) so as long as deadlines were met it wouldn’t impact the outcome.

It's not just £400 a month; it's building career progression, networking, bolstering your jobs experience, more into your pension. I'd not pass up the opportunity.

Honestly in your situation OP you would be really daft not to take this job, there are things you can do down the line to make life easier if your DH supports, like move, but right now you're only earning £40k, your husband is available (and not earning much), your job isn't very stable, it makes so much more sense to just take it now and see how it goes. It sounds like the money would be useful right now, as a family of 5 in the SE living off £40k and what I assume are savings or low profit, that cant be ideal.

I wouldn't be looking at this too long term, the job you have now isn't ideal long term, your DH is around right now, it makes sense for you to take this step and it'll be good to see how your DH steps up.

OP however be realistic about the commute. I’m in a suburban area with direct train into Central London and still took me 1.5 hours door to door when I worked in central London. I don’t know how you can be very rural and only 1.5 hours away.

No