Would I be crazy to stay in a 40k role instead of a 75k?!

[worklifedilemma]

On the surface I know YES looks wild...

Here's the dilemma:

I'm a mum to 3 primary age DC, currently in a FT role 40k per year. It's remote mostly with very occasional travel into London (1-2x a month) - I live west of London, very rural, around 1hr30 door to door. It's also technically a self-employed contract which means I can pop expenses onto my tax assessment etc. Also qualify for child benefit etc. I'm a middle manager at a private company, in case that helps context.

Not yet formally offered but going well a side side step career wise (no people management and stand alone), but in a more 'money' direction. (Comparable to say moving from criminal law to corporate - just more money in certain niches). £75k, PAYE. Obviously better pension wise etc as I only have my own self employed one at the moment. Almost double the money at £75k, but where it's PAYE no tax relief on expenses, which would be higher as they would want me in their London HQ 2-3 days per week. This is also longer days and would have to ensure we could make it work with childcare. So my overall expenses would be much higher, job much more taxing due to travel and time in office, and I'd lose child benefit. This would make my take home (after travel) around £400 ish more a month.

Just can't figure out if that £400 is worth the extra work/time/travel less time with the kids etc? Long term career I guess so.

Any words of wisdom? Any thoughts on what you would do if it were you?

If you are not currently on track to earn enough to either be self sufficient should you’re marriage breakdown, or to provide the sort of life you want for you and your family then take the job. Put in the graft. Make the sacrifices time wise. and reap the rewards further on down the line. It sounds like, even if you don’t stay in the 75k role, it will give you experience in a side of your profession that will earn more than your current position, so will stand you in good stead for later on, even if you scale back on the intensity.

If you are happy with your current life, you have enough financial stability hat you could manage fine if your marriage broke down, and you aren’t chomping at the bit to get into this new area just from a personal challenge perspective, then stay where you are. Flexibility and lack of stress/long hours is hugely valuable.

Women who end up burned financially post relationship break up often regret not prioritising their careers, but the thing men say they regret the most when they are near the end of their lives is working too much. I think, as more and more women focus on our careers, we risk going that route too, what’s needed is balance between the competing needs of money and time.

Where are your children likely to go to secondary? We aren't super rural but secondary options here tend to all involve school buses and if they want to do any clubs after school parents have to collect them (by car, several of our options are in the middle of nowhere with no public transport). We are hoping he gets our first choice which at least does have public buses he could get later on if he can't get the school one...
So logistics may actually get trickier for us for a while, especially while the younger one is still at primary in a different location...

No wrap around care at secondaries...

What’s the career progression in both jobs like? I mean if the 75k job might be paying £150k in a couple of years….

It's not just £400 though is it because of additional pension contributions from your employer and I presume it's a career move so it's a gateway to much higher earnings.

Is there nothing like the 75k job but closer to home? Sounds like you have time to search.
Commuting to London isn’t fun and always takes longer than you think. My train was about 30 mins with a ten min connection and took me 1.5 hours on a good day.

I don't think I'd take it.

Personally I've been offered much more money to move roles but I love my job and it fits so well with family life I wouldn't move for a gold pig.

No wrap around care at secondaries...

Because it's not needed....?

But why does it have to be the OP doing that, and not her DH?

when these get to secondary they’ll be living in the arse end of no where so will need extensive parental involvement every single day

Has that been clarified? I grew up actually rural (not 1.5 hours from London rural) and we had school buses that picked up from the bottom of farm lanes, parents were not doing childcare for teens just because they were rural. Granted we were also expected/allowed to walk for 2 miles to see friends 😬😂

But agree moving to somewhere more practical would be a help if both are working on their careers.

But to have sick pay and pension safety….. and actual Paid holiday. It’s not just about the take home, the security as you become an older worker….

Could you not go back to the 40 k job if it does not work out?

@clearquote our primary school is a drive away but we both still have demanding careers (though we are not actually rural, we just chose a school 15 min drive away). Rural areas have school buses, in fact it's easier to get to the village high schools here than it is the town's as they have buses but as the high schools in town are less than 3 miles away in a built up area no transport is provided, so the only parents I can think of who drive their secondary school kids are the ones who got the school they didn't want across town.

I think OP needs to confirm what the secondary school situation is before assuming.

If your husband's business is failing and you're employed in a boom and bust industry but only earning 40k with no employment rights I'd strongly consider the more secure permanent role.

@clearquote you seem really angry and overly invested in the rural point. You don't know that at all, how do you think rural kids get to school??

If op is 15 mins from a train station and 1.5 hours from London she is not "very rural" anyway, that's a very different interpretation from my very rural background (that as I say, had school buses picking kids up from the bottom of farm lanes).

@clearquote are you ok? You're coming across very hyper!

Let me clarify the ‘very rural’ point - it’s a small farming village outside of a larger town (15 min ish drive as I’ve said) - as in drive to everywhere. No train lines. Nearest secondary schools are a 20 min drive - but I believe there are buses. Lots of larger towns within 30 mins ish but no where accessible really without your own transport. There is a bus that runs to the town once an hour but not near the train station.

I don’t know if we’ll live here when they go to secondary so it’s not something I’d consider in this decision. I’d happily move somewhere more ‘accessible’ again but DH loves being more out in the sticks with the countryside walks and slower, quieter environment.