can I insist in WFH in this situation

[helloMickey]

Content warning (added by MNHQ)

I work in a hybrid role though work can be done fully from home.

DC (13 years old) has poor mental health and did attempt to commit suicide 2 weeks ago. Adamant, they will try again. Loads of people involved now (camhs, crisis team, ss). Been told I have to provide 24/7 supervision due to ongoing suicide risk. Been WFH since it happened but work are now making noises and asking me to find a babysitter or someone else so I can do my hours in the office. I have no family and a babysitter for a suicidal teen is completely inappropriate. DC will not be able to cope with a stranger ATM. I have no way of knowing when the situation will improve. Do I have any legal right to WFH in this situation and if so, on what grounds? Google wasn't helpful.

I manage my workload fully from home despite the hugely stressful situation. I was just hoping my LM would be understanding. But maybe I expect too much esp since it's open end.

have now read all the thread

@helloMickey your company is not "blue chip" if they are not supporting you here. (Join a union, it won't help you with this, but it may down the line when things get sticky)

You are in a niche role. That gives you a bit of leverage. Your LM suggested a baby sitter. They have not understood the situation, and from what you have written about how you arrange your hours, they understand neither your role nor your working practice.

Escalate, and if push comes to shove: Glass door. They won't like that at all.

Sorry to hear
Does this help ?
https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

You should take this if work won't be flexible. You're not letting the team down, the managers are!
Have you explained the specifics to your manager and HR? What do you think would happen if you explain that the next step would most likely involve getting signed off for stress, and you'd rather do the work from home, as you've been managing to?
I know you said no GP appointments for weeks, but most GPs keep some open same-day if you phone at 8am on the dot or some similarly irritating system, any chance of that?
This sounds like an extremely upsetting time for you. You said you're on your own, do you think you're just pushing down your stress because you need to cope, and that's why work/GP receptionist aren't grasping the seriousness of this situation? And do you have any IRL support - friends, therapy even? I hope you do ❤

Do you have private medical insurance as a benefit at work? If you do, maybe book a GP appt via them.

No offence, but sod work. Your work is just work. They would replace you the second you leave. Trust me, NO ONE is truly irreplaceable in the workplace, unlike your child. Sorry to be crass in light of this situation, but if you popped your clogs they’d have an advert out for your job within 24 hours. I really can’t emphasise this enough.

Go off sick. There is no other solution. Your GP will sign you off straight away.

If they have said you need to go in and you refuse it could cause issues. It’s not just a case of ‘doing your work’

Not to say I agree with them, I think they are being arseholes. But strictly speaking, if they said you have to go in, you need to take another route. I seriously think you should get signed off as long as you can by your GP for stress. Then when they bring you back in, you need to request wfh as one of the things you need to get back into working again.

To those who are saying that you can't work to full capacity when at home if you are ok suicide watch. This wasn't the case at all. My DD was either up in her room as the op has said staring into space/ sleeping or watching something on her laptop. I'd pop up for 2 minutes to check in on her every hour or so

similar here. Hence I am saying I can carry on. Gosh how did you cope a year? I am climbing the walls after 2 weeks. So sorry you had to deal with this as well.

You’d rather wait to get fired than be signed off sick? I’d be calling the GP every day until I could get an appointment. If this isn’t an emergency I don’t know what is.

Sorry sent too soon - or she was downstairs when me. I spent no more time 'looking after her' than anyone on an office who had a chat in the kitchen or over the desk would have done. It's more about carrying on as normal and being there should the worst happen.

Even though it was possibly the most stressful period of my life - work was a godsend in terms of distraction and ironically I had one of my most successful years.

Op also worth pointing out (as I'm sure it's similar for you) I was able to be more productive at home knowing she was upstairs and safe rather than being in an office in the city constantly worrying and stressing if she didn't pick up her phone.

I was really lucky as my LM was hugely understanding. I don't know what I would have done without that. I'm sorry yours isn't.

You need to ring your gp as soon as they open and ask for a same day appointment due to needing a fit note for work. Any GP will sign you off on mental health grounds in this scenario or they stipulate on a fit note that they recommend you work from home.

Of course not OP. You cannot force your GP to do something, anymore than you can insist your employer let you work from home.
They hold the cards here so best if you can work with them rather than against them.

I almost never say this but in your circumstances I would go off sick with stress If they won’t let you WFH.

I suspect your manager has been told “back to office, no exceptions” and is taking the instructions literally. I can’t imagine HR would say it should hold in this case.

If your GP won’t see you do they have an econsult system you can message them through? Or do check your private medical cover (if you have it) has online GP access, it is quite common

She has already stated that she’s told whoever needs to know (LM and I guess HR) everything and been totally upfront and honest about what’s going on. Sadly this seems to have fallen on deaf ears.

If its a blue chip company what is the HR stance? Sorry I couldn't see where you'd spoken to them vs your manager.

Either they have told the line manager to take this stance - not sure why, but it seems a very hard line for the LM to take on their own.

Or HR have not yet been fully involved in which case you should escalate to them. Sadly, you won't be the first person in this position; they will have a more official corporate-wide response.

Perhaps the workplace are trying to look after your well being by sending you down the full paid sick leave route.

You are under a huge amount of pressure and why would you not get paid full pay to look after your child with all your attention, rather than have to juggle both work and home in one 'space'?

Take sick leave and focus on your child

I'm so sorry this sounds horrific.
If you have a blue chip employer do you have medical insurance like BUPA? I am asking because BUPA do online GP for free for some companies so you could do a GP appointment by zoom to get signed off.

My advice would be to construct your case and proposal carefully (write both the concerns, options you have considered and proposal) and put it to them, ideally to a sensitive and supportive person. I’m sure there won’t be a policy that covers this, but any reasonable employer would recognise the need to support you in staying at home and reviewing in, say, three months. Include proposals about how you check in with work and demonstrate that you are hitting deadlines, your commitment to your role and team and the desperate situation your child is in. I would do anything I could to support a member of my team in this circumstance.

Also, if anyone raises the fairness card - fairness is about providing the appropriate support and accommodations to people based on their specific context and needs. It’s the organisation’s ability and willingness to consider this for each individual if they raise an issue. It’s NOT about everyone having the same treatment and set of rules applied to them. Good luck OP, wishing your child well.

Also, if they don’t support you for any reason, 100% go off sick. It is the right thing to do in that circumstance.

I'd be pushing back hard at this point.

"I have explained before that I am currently unable to work from the office, due to having to be on a 24/7 suicide watch with my DC. There is no-one else that is able to do this, and I wouldn't want to put that responsibility on someone that isn't their parent either.

I am fully capable of completing my work tasks while working from home as you'll see from [insert various performance related stats here], so my productivity will not be affected.

I will not be coming into the office while this situation is ongoing, but as soon as I am able to, I will come back into the office.

I realise this is against your wishes, but my family comes first at the moment."

If it ends in a disciplinary, so be it. Hopefully by that point your DC will have more support and you can take whatever decision they give and carry on with your life.

Sorry this is happening to you OP and I'm sorry that your employers are not helping you more.

Sorry to hear you're going through this OP.

If the doctor is unable to give a WFH note then please ask for a sick note. I know you don't want to let your team down but your child needs you at home so if you can't wfh then your manager has left you with no other option but to go sick.

I hope your DC starts to feel better soon.

Do you have Income Protection insurance from your employer? Mine will pay out until I retire if I can't work.

I don't think it would be hard to get signed off with stress given the circumstances. Once the six months are up, you could probably get moved to Income Protection if things hadn't improved with your child and you still had the ongoing stress of monitoring 24x7.

Haven't rtft and I'm not a lawyer BUT I think this would come under disability legislation as that extends to carers of someone with a disability which your child clearly has.
And that means your employer has to make reasonable adjustments.
Contact ACAS for advice. Also, your home insurance might include legal advice cover.

You have a right to make 2 flexible working requests in a year. You are entitled to make a flexible working request to WFH, it’s not just about a change of hours etc. It can also be a temporary or permanent request. You could ask for say 3 months to be reviewed.

www.lawsociety.org.uk/topics/small-firms/work-from-home-permanently

No advice here OP but this push into the office makes me sick. It's blind to people being people, having lives and families.

Employers were happy with us all WFH in 2020 and having a child on suicide watch is an extenuating circumstance just like a pandemic is.

Who else have you in your area that you could pull favours in from. Or is there someone who could take dc in first a few days so you can show your face at the office. I admit when my dc was under the crisis team we arranged for my mother to step in after the 2 weeks intensive intervention, was a lifesaver, literally as she watched her 24/7, locked all potential blades away, and got her to eat again (weight had dropped to under 6 stone.) is dad not on the scene?

Unfortunately it's not your employers problem, and I'm not saying that it's right, I'm just saying that the law is on their side. Parental leave is possible, it's unpaid, or get yourself signed off with stress by your gp. Otherwise it's down to hr potentially to persuade line manager.