can I insist in WFH in this situation

[helloMickey]

Content warning (added by MNHQ)

I work in a hybrid role though work can be done fully from home.

DC (13 years old) has poor mental health and did attempt to commit suicide 2 weeks ago. Adamant, they will try again. Loads of people involved now (camhs, crisis team, ss). Been told I have to provide 24/7 supervision due to ongoing suicide risk. Been WFH since it happened but work are now making noises and asking me to find a babysitter or someone else so I can do my hours in the office. I have no family and a babysitter for a suicidal teen is completely inappropriate. DC will not be able to cope with a stranger ATM. I have no way of knowing when the situation will improve. Do I have any legal right to WFH in this situation and if so, on what grounds? Google wasn't helpful.

I manage my workload fully from home despite the hugely stressful situation. I was just hoping my LM would be understanding. But maybe I expect too much esp since it's open end.

I never had a sick not in my life so not sure how it works. Can the GP issue a fit note that stipulates that I must WFH? Can I force it that way?

So at home you will fully be able to solely concentrate on work during your hours?

Of course she won’t. In the great scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. Has your child ever attempted suicide? Have a bit of compassion for gods sake.

Agree with this, contact ACAS for advice. Either way, your child has to be priortised so if your work aren't willing to help you, then I would be taking some sick leave (you will easily get signed off with stress)

I think you need to forget about the WFH angle and work out what your options would be if you had a job that could never be WFH like being a bus driver or a plumber. Those are the options that are reasonable.

But I am not a plumber or a bus driver. And I will never be 🤣

GPs can and do sign you off for up to a year in situations like this because of arsehole employers. Get them to do it - they’ll use stress. Then tell your manager he left you with no choice but to get signed off.

That's important leverage though!

Surely you can submit a flex working request for a temporary period? Doesn't have to be a permanent thing?

Do you have HR, occupational health as part of your work package? What is their carers policy, do they have one? What you are doing is caring not normal parenting. Is there anyone higher up you can talk to? Your LM may just not get it, but if told by someone above them? If LM is childless or believes teens are snowflakes and should just pull themselves together you are on a hiding to nothing. But a call to 111 about your level of stress should get you an appt, they bypass the GP and a sick note doesn’t have to be from your GP.

Does your work place not do something like a carer passport. So get can WFH because of caring responsibilities.

Honestly please please just get your GP to sign you off.

I carried on long long after I should have gone off sick with a stressful situation and it was only after I realised what a state I was in.

Yes, there is a section about reasonable adjustments to allow you to work. This is possibly one.

You can self certify for 7 days too, until you get an appointment.

I used this as part of a phased return.

You are not leaving the team down. Your employer is. This is how they function. Getting good people to being actions of the company are their fault. I makes me so mad.

My advice would not be to 'just not go in'. That make you look like the bad guy. Get yourself to the doc today and get signed off. Being completely honest, you are very likely to burn out if you carry on like this anyway so I'm not sure I really being the 'I am ok'. (not that I think you are lying, I think you might be powering though)

Can you ask your GP to sign you off?

That being said, if you been asked to supervise your child 24/7 - it means your child needs to be admitted to a ward. A parent cannot provide that level of supervision.

I suppose best is to carry on WFH and wait to get fired/disciplined..

NO!!!

Best is to get signed off. You have an absolutely legitimate reason.

You self certificate for the first seven days of sick leave anyway (including any days you usually wouldn’t work, like a weekend if you work M-F), before you need or can get a GP fit note, so that would seem to be the first action here.

Then, on day seven, call your surgery for an emergency appointment - this would be an emergency. You cannot leave your child and work are asking you to do that, so you cannot function under the degree of stress to which you’re being subjected. GPs can backdate fit notes if you can’t see someone immediately.

Then you need to work with anyone who can offer you support - family, friends, parents of your child’s friends - to try to work out how you can go back to work when your fit notes run out. Sick leave for stress will buy you some time and space at the beginning to start to put some plans in place, and to spend time with your child.

Good luck. But do not resign or get yourself fired: you have said yourself that you need the money, and even if you decide to move to another role, you will need the reference. Don’t let panic force you into something which makes things even worse than they are.

Your line manage is being a dick. Escalate it above them and keep escalating it.

If you're providing 24/7 suicide watch supervisory care you should not be full-time working either at home or in the office. No rational employer would expect you to.

Will your GP/AN Other medical professional involved in your son's care provide a letter stating that you are a carer?

OP, I think you do need to insist on an emergency appointment with your GP. Being signed off is the only option available to you at this point imo. Your LM is being massively unpleasant and unsupportive, but it looks like this is the hill they’re ready to die on.

You don’t need to be dealing with work stress/HR issues at this point, so being signed off will enable you to have the space to focus on your DS, whilst removing the one stress that you do have control over, which is whether you try to battle your LM over wfh.

I cannot imagine any GP not wanting to support you with all this going on. If you can’t get an emergency appointment, then I think, as others have said, that you can sign yourself off for up to 7 days, with that start date being retrospectively included in your GPs fit note. And I wouldn’t ask the fit note to include wfh. You are dealing with such a lot at the moment and need the time and space that a fit note will give you, so take it.

Thanks all. will try to see the GP and get a WFH fit note. That should tie me over.

OP I would seriously consider calling in sick with stress. First 7 days are self certified (so you don't need a sick note for it), and then you can get one from the GP fairly easily. Then, the onus is on your workplace to find a way to get you back into work (and will likely suggest WFH!)

FWIW, I've been close to where you are (DB was on suicide watch and I was the only functioning adult in the family at the time) ~ you're probably relying on adrenaline so it doesn't seem as bad, but realistically you're also going through an INCREDIBLE amount of stress and pressure. I look back on that time and wonder why I fought so hard to keep working when I should have made life easier for everyone and taken the time off. It also makes it easier for your workplace to navigate and explain why certain things aren't getting done on time if someone is actually off, rather than just working at reduced capacity (and no matter how much of a superwoman you are, there's no way you'll be able to be on top of the work game through this!) 💐

Don't have a solution for you but have to say employer is very mean for insisting you return to the office. I hope others can give you good advice. It's not fair of them to insist you go back yo the office if you have been managing by working from home.
Don't jack in the job. Worse comes to worse go to GP and get a long term sick note.

Im so sorry your company / manager are being shits. I have been in a similar situation ( so I understand how woefully underfunded CAHMS are, the lack of inpatient places for adolescents ect.)
It is an emergency, you do need to be signed off, because of the stress added on by your workplace being totally intransigent.

My own manager, who was in other ways was pretty shit was actually great with me, totally flexible, but I still ended up being signed off as I also couldn't leave my DC.
Hope everything works out op 💐

OP has already said ACAS were not helpful

Definitely call in sick today at least, I know you don't want to let you team down, but you don't want to give them any reason to fire you, you can tell your team that you have been given no choice in the matter.

If you have 6 months full pay on sick then take it, then discuss with your manager dickhead LM about coming back to work from home with reasonable adjustment if necessary.

thank you @LittleRedRidingHoody. Sorry you had to go through something similar. I hope your DB is better now. I am stressed but I do absolutely not feel ill enough to get signed off. I am weirdly calm. It's very hard to describe.