can I insist in WFH in this situation

[helloMickey]

Content warning (added by MNHQ)

I work in a hybrid role though work can be done fully from home.

DC (13 years old) has poor mental health and did attempt to commit suicide 2 weeks ago. Adamant, they will try again. Loads of people involved now (camhs, crisis team, ss). Been told I have to provide 24/7 supervision due to ongoing suicide risk. Been WFH since it happened but work are now making noises and asking me to find a babysitter or someone else so I can do my hours in the office. I have no family and a babysitter for a suicidal teen is completely inappropriate. DC will not be able to cope with a stranger ATM. I have no way of knowing when the situation will improve. Do I have any legal right to WFH in this situation and if so, on what grounds? Google wasn't helpful.

I manage my workload fully from home despite the hugely stressful situation. I was just hoping my LM would be understanding. But maybe I expect too much esp since it's open end.

not in a union, spoke to Acas last week but they weren't very useful. I have 1 day annual leave left. and the workplace doesn't have any other policies to push. I really don't know what else to do.

Your LM is appalling...I would actually consider making a formal complaint for them telling you to 'find a babysitter' for your suicidal kid.

Your priority is your child.

You have two options really:

• take parental leave
• speak to your GP and go off sick with stress/anxiety. I don't think anyone can cope with watching over a suicidal individual 24/7 and doing a job at the same time.

Long term, I would find another job: you now know what your company and manager are really like....

OP look up the formal unpaid parental leave scheme.
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

We discussed sectioning and I agree, they should probs not be at home but I think there is a huge lack of beds, hence we get pushed to stay at home and provide 24/7 suicide watch here. I have asked and been told admission is an option doen the line but we aren't there (read 'bad enough') yet.

No, I don't think you can insist but you can ask.

But also from an employer point of view - we would not be allowed to care for a child in our working hours. Work may allow you the time off but it would be unpaid.

I would do as others have said and either get signed off work or take parental leave.

yes, none left :( I am well aware of it. It's not been a great year.

Firstly, huge sympathies. But no you won't be able to insist, you have no legal right to "insist" perse, ultimately if your employer cannot or will not support home working rapidly you will have to make a decision as to whether you can continue to work.

However, in my experience, if you have a supportive and normal manager you just need to have a candid conversation with them, explaining what you need and why, how you will carry out your role and agree to keep the situation under review and see how it goes. Open dialogue is key, there is not one manager I've had (even the shit ones) who wouldn't have given me that liberty.

I have no parental leave left. and I can (and do) my job. it's a teen who I need to keep an eye on. They are mainly on the phone or laptop in the same room as me. It's not a toddler or a baby who requires hands on care..

Unfortunately when doing wfh people put the work aspect second to the home aspect. You're paid to work and not to look after family. They may feel this is what your doing, fitting in work around family.

You need to find a way to focus on your son. Could his father not help or other family?

I know you don’t have parental leave left but surely this would fall under special leave?

Your line manager is being an idiot. Clearly you need to ring your GP today, who will reasonably sign you off (I can’t even begin to imagine how stressed you must be). Then you won’t be doing any work, let alone from home.

i had the chat. they know everything there is to know. I am very open. I suppose best is to carry on WFH and wait to get fired/disciplined..
I absolutely cannot leave DC so going to the office is really not an option. I would never risk it.

Anyhow, thanks for all the replies 🙏. Was hoping there is somewhere a backdoor for me but it appears not. I am not going to resign so will just sit it out and see what steps my line manager will take and take things from there.

As for being signed off. No GP appointments in the next few weeks. Only emergency appointments but apparently that isn't an emergency. So getting signed off isn't even possible (and it's not what I want in any case).

Hi I had a similar situation and work were very inflexible. One of my colleagues had a child who was suicidal a while before and took 2 years off full pay because our LM simply didn't say she was off. Did I mention she is our line managers best friend?

So I expected a bit better support but was hassled constantly about ensuring I did my hours (I did), reducing my hours (didn't want to and didn't need to) etc. I asked for a tiny bit of flexibility and was refused. So I went off sick - I was so stressed about my daughter I couldn't leave her and my DH was working away.

So rather than keep me working for them with a tiny bit of flexibility they lost me for 5 months. And other people at work noticed the disparity in how I'd been treated compared to my colleague so they feel unhappy about what will happen if they need support.

Also you can be on sick leave and get it backdated if you can't get an immediate appointment

Hope things are better at your end now. It's crazy how some employers react. A little bit of flexibility and support goes a long way.

111 has a mental health option to press now, when you ring. They might be able to access a doctor appointment for you. Your own mental health must be in need of support.

Does your surgery have an online consult option?

Sorry your child’s so poorly. Is your LM quite rigid in her/his thinking? I’m wondering if they’ve thought through how they’re essentially pushing you towards that 6m sick pay. It might be worth a chat with them and/or HR to gently point out that you don’t want that: you want to do your job to the best of your abilities at this current time, and that while it may be sub-optimal, your competence is still very good, it’s a niche role at which you excel and to which you’re committed, you will be back working within the rules as soon as possible, it’s just that will be months, may be even longer and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Then the ball’s in their court and hopefully LM will realise the foolishness. If not, your next step if no budging might be the LM’s LM. Should that fail, I’d suspect them of trying to manage me out and get signed off.

I would say that I can work from home or go off sick due to the stress of the situation. How much work are you likely to do in the office if you think your child might make another attempt on their life at home, fuck all I imagine. Your manager is being a total twat.

Hugs OP, what a difficult situation.

I am sorry your workplace is adding to your stress. Though perhaps they have been accommodating until now. If I was your LM then I would not be pressing you to return to work. I understand that it's not possible to arrange childcare for a suicidal 13 year old. If you weren't able to work effectively from home, I would be suggesting you speak to Occ Health or GP about being signed off. If you were able to do your work from home then I would let you and I would defend that position to my seniors and others on the team.

I hope things improve for you. PP's suggestion of talking to GP is an idea if they could provide a fit note to say you are able to work but only from home as being in the office would cause you stress.

How much work are you likely to do in the office if you think your child might make another attempt on their life at home, fuck all I imagine. Your manager is being a total twat.

I am not going to the office. It's not save plus I have a safety plan I need to follow which has need developed by SS and the mental health crisis team. It stipulates 24/7 supervision. Office is totally out of question. Not even thinking about it.

I wonder if ACAS might be able to make any suggestions
www.acas.org.uk

100% go off with stress and get paid in full for 6 months. The manager only has himself to blame.

Go to them and say, " I either work from home or I go off sick with stress, you can decide".

Most employers would expect any parent who is WFH to have their home working environment arranged to be able to give 100% attention to work. Children still go to childcare if they need active care. A 13yo at home would normally be fine to look after themselves but if your teen needs active suicide watch then this cannot be combined with working. I don't think its unreasonable for an employer to insist that you actually focus on the job they are paying you for.

I think you need to forget about the WFH angle and work out what your options would be if you had a job that could never be WFH like being a bus driver or a plumber. Those are the options that are reasonable.

In case you haven’t, put all this into an email to work, in case you need evidence in the future.

I have read the rest of the thread beyond this.
But I'd say screw work if you need to be at home and they are not being understanding 😪. I wish you all the best for you and DC, it must be so difficult.