Coworker snapped at the dress I'm wearing

[user1471867483]

I’m wearing a three-quarter length thin white crepe fabric sleeved dress with black ric rac at the bottom. It’s quite sheer, but it’s lined and I’m fine wearing it. It’s boho and vintage. I have thick black tights on with it and black ankle boots. My coworker, who works next door, came in and said, “Aren’t you cold in that”? I said, “No, I’m fine”. She said, “No you’re not”.
Well, I am! I wouldn’t have worn it if I wasn’t OK in it.
The dress is a bit like this:
https://froufroufrocksboutique.com/products/ent-ecru-plus-ric-rac-midi-dress
What I’m really asking is why has what I’m wearing got anything to do with anyone?

I certainly wouldn't comment, to your face, but unless you are in a hot country it doesn't seem work appropriate. More of a beach dress.

It doesn’t, just ignore her.

Where do you work? I’m assuming somewhere arty rather than a solicitors office.

It wouldn’t be something we’d wear to work, but no one should be snapping at you for it.

It totally depends on your work policy as to if that’s appropriate.

I just work in an office and I'm very boho and unique in my dress sense. Think vintage, artisan and folksie - and that's me! I'd also describe myself as way out with a 1960s influence.

These things are so nuanced! I've worked in places where this would be completely fine, and places you'd be pulled to one side and it be mentioned! As long as it's not a manager saying it's inappropriate it's fine.

I think bear in mind in Mumsnet when getting fashion advice there is a very wide age and style demographic... That's all I'm saying

It's really not suitable office wear, unless there is a specific 'wear anything you like' policy. Your co-worker should have addressed it in a far more professional way, if it's even within her remit to do this.

I think their comment was a veiled way of saying it’s inappropriate.

But presumably they don’t get to say what is and if someone more senior has a problem they will say something.

It wouldn’t look out of place in my office. I like it.

Dress is fine, although if I had to work next to someone who described themselves as "way out" and "folksie", I'd have a headache.

Not remotely professional looking, sorry.

Doesn't seem appropriate for office wear, sorry.

She should not have snapped at you. If it’s considered appropriate in your work setting - fine.

When I worked in the US I had to talk to team members on various occasions about dress standards - they all thought they looked fine too.

Based on that picture I would have said it depends - on how short and how sheer it is, and also what your role was. Like it or not, fitting in with the culture can affect your career - male or female.

It’s not suitable office wear. If you like cutesy minidresses, by all means wear them for leisure. It must ride up when you sit down.
Longer length and ensuring no cleavage, you could get away with it.

This. Anyone who thinks they are unique may not be coming across the way they think they are.

I’m sure you can be “60s/way out/bohemian/folksie/attention seeking” without wearing a beach dress to the office

I was going to say this! 🤣 I wouldn't wear that to the office - lovely beach holiday vibe though ⛱️

Couldn't agree more. Artisan FFS 🤣

This is in no way a professional office dress.

It would be appropriate you ran your own vintage, folksy way out there business, otherwise no.,

Not to be weird or anything but if it’s a very thin fabric could she mean that - I’m phrasing this to try to not sound like a perv - a common physical reaction to being cold was kind of visible?

And therefore she felt it a bit much for an office?

What I’m really asking is why has what I’m wearing got anything to do with anyone

In the workplace yes it often has something to do with the boss usually. There are rules on H&S and being presentable for whatever or whoever they want to present am image to.

Colleagues may resent you flouting the (unwritten) rules but its not up to them. This was a veiled way of commenting but you're right...inappropriately put.

I just work in an office and I'm very boho and unique in my dress sense. Think vintage, artisan and folksie - and that's me! I'd also describe myself as way out with a 1960s influence.

This sounds incredibly pretentious And possibly you're bugging your colleague with your need to identify yourself this way rather than just work....

Yeah sure right

It depends on the office but fabric sounds too flimsy even with tights. She might be hinting it's too casual, in summer heatwaves offices are a bit more flexible and forgiving.

I think sometimes people make these comments as small talk or a dig. There are people who feel cold or hot looking at someone else, empaths maybe.

Artisan and folksie? 😣

Your coworker does not want to see your nipples. It's a summer beach dress!