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Original poster

Boss refusing resignation letter

117 replies

Lou197 · 14/07/2024 12:29

I have worked for a company for about 10 years and have an admin role working for the MD. The company has grown massively as has my role and many people working in the firm don't really know what I do, I started as a secretary but my role has grown so much I am now writing all policies for the firm, managing the risk register, health & safety, IT, recruitment etc. We had a new MD start a couple of years ago, he is lovely but absolutely chaotic which has had a massive knock on effect on me and my role can now be very stressful. I suggested some changes but the MD was reluctant to implement them so although I love my job I resigned as I did not want the stress anymore and was very disappointed my suggestions were not actioned. I gave the right notice but the MD said they did not accept my resignation and asked me to reconsider, said they would implement some of the changes. During our meetings though they did not take any responsibility for the issues or the stress they had put me under, in fact made very lame excuses. I thought about it and just could not face the mountain of work I have to do when I felt so unappreciated and upset I had to resign to get any support offered. So I wrote again saying that I was resigning and my last day is at the end of July. Again they said they do not accept and asked me to reconsider. They have nothing lined up in terms of a replacement so knowing what I do I feel huge pressure to stay on longer, if I were to resign they would have to hire two people as I am doing so much for them, not blowing my own trumpet here but I have just been at the place so long and know how it all works so everything that needs doing gets done very quickly. I am on a good salary, flexible working and have young kids so that is great, and at 48 I am worried I will not get another job on such good terms so it is tempting to stay but I just feel bullied into it and dumbfounded that the MD feels they have power over me by saying they do not 'accept' my resignation. I don't think anything will change - partner thinks I should stay on for a few months to see how it goes but I am just so unmotivated and can't bear going through this leaving process again as I have loved it there it is really upsetting. I have savings for about 6 months so would have some breathing space. Any advice?

OP posts:
ToBeOrNotToBee · 14/07/2024 12:31

Madness.

Seems its a case of sticking head in the sand.

RandomMess · 14/07/2024 12:32

Tell them to get someone suitably experienced in to do 50% of the load by Monday 29th July or 31st July will be your last working day. Send with links to some agencies.

It's their problem to solve.

Alternatively go off sick with stress?

Auntieobem · 14/07/2024 12:34

They can't refuse to accept your resignation. They can't force you to continue to work for them

ShaunaSadeki · 14/07/2024 12:34

If you are onto a good thing there, can’t you negotiate a stonking pay rise and some authority to implement changes? And maybe a junior that you can hand some work over to?
If you are totally over it, they can’t make you stay

lazzapazza · 14/07/2024 12:34

They do not have to accept your resignation letter. That is not how it works.

Go and see the MD and tell them you WILL be leaving as stated in the letter. Or will stay on with an £x pay rise starting immediately.

Imagine you are talking to a three year old child rather than the MD. That is the tone that is evidently required.

PercyGherkin · 14/07/2024 12:35

It’s not up to them to agree your resignation. You have handed it in (twice!). Hold firm and leave.

pinkdelight · 14/07/2024 12:37

It's strange that you didn't apply for another job first before resigning in this situation. Then you wouldn't have the concerns about not getting another job, and it's always easier to get another job while employed, plus there'd be none of this uncertainty where MD could spout his 'not accepting' BS as you'd have to go and he'd have to jolly well accept that. But because you're framing it more as 'I had to resign to get any help', it does sound less like you needed to leave than that you wanted things to change. Clearly he's a nightmare and incapable of that so you do have to go, but it's all been a bit messy. Your letter was clear though and so you've every right to go at the end of July and he'll have to suck it up and face reality. If that's what you really want. From your DP's position - and what you say about the t&c there being a good fit for your lifestage in other ways - it does sound like it might make sense to stay on and jobhunt while in the role, and just draw a firm line about what you will and won't put up with. Essentially, do you what you want but be superclear about it. Your boss can't refuse.

Hedgeoffressian · 14/07/2024 12:38

Ofcourse they don’t accept. They have treated you like a doormat and it sounds like you are doing 3 or 4 people’s jobs.

InfoSecInTheCity · 14/07/2024 12:39

A resignation isn't you asking permission to leave, it's you telling them you are leaving.

They can make an offer to ask you to stay but it's entirely up to you if you choose to accept it or not.

You need to give the amount of notice dictated by your contract but that's it.

LittleGreenDragons · 14/07/2024 12:39

Tell them you will be leaving - unless they employ a PA for you so you can delegate half your workload. Tell them you expect to see a placed advert by tomorrow night.

Providing of course, that you having your own pa would help your situation.

Mymanyellow · 14/07/2024 12:41

What’s he going to do ? Come round your house and drag you into work? Just don’t go any more once your leaving date has passed.

Nowthereistwo · 14/07/2024 12:41

I agree with leaving if you don't feel appreciated and you have tried to improve the situation.

but would it not be better to get a new role before leaving this one. Especially for undefined roles such as yours. What job are you looking for?

EweCee · 14/07/2024 12:43

They cannot refuse your resignation. However, you are in the position of power here. They can accept you are leaving OR they can do 3 things: 1) implement the changes you have suggested (and actually follow through with them; 2) give you a decent pay rise AND 3) hire a well qualified junior to take on a significant portion of your work. If they do those 3 things, I would consider staying due to loving the job normally and flexibility.

Chewbecca · 14/07/2024 12:45

Your role sounds like a practice manager / office manager position.

Are there any circumstances under which you would like to stay? If so, list them out and give them to you MD. Consider pay and terms as well as specifics in the role itself.

If there are no circumstances in which you wish to stay, stick to your guns and leave on the date you said, you have given them notice - you have ended your contract.

Lalalacrosse · 14/07/2024 12:47

Just make sure everyone else knows you have resigned and when your last day is. Then clear out your desk and simply don’t show up the day after your last day.

A resignation letter is notice that you are leaving, not a request for permission.

Ormally · 14/07/2024 12:48

Only you can decide if you want to stay on, but I would caution that it's a really hard thing to do. I did this once with 3 further months offered, mainly because I did not have a job to go on to (I still hadn't got one by the end of the 3 months - the job continued to take up all the headspace and more). The company messed up my pension in the extra time given. I was also taken off the all staff mailing list (due to automatic 'leaving protocol' not being rescinded), didn't receive a P60 etc, so it was a tough time that may have been a bit easier if I had stuck to the normal procedure and not extended.
You do need to have a meeting and conversation about agreeing that you will be leaving and that it's recognised amicably, I think, rather than to talk too deeply about workload and the reasons you want to go and they don't see/understand.

IgoogledYOLO · 14/07/2024 12:49

I agree with others, just leave! No company can force you to work your notice, let alone reject a resignation.
Make handover notes and book meetings and go.
Aim for as close after payday as possible if you're worried they'll actually kick back.

2Hot2Handle · 14/07/2024 12:51

Have you resigned via email, so that you have proof of when you handed in your notice? If so, forward this email to a personal address, so that you have it on record. If not, send an email confirming your last day, based on your notice (take into consideration any holiday accrued).

With any further meetings regarding your notice, make it clear that you are leaving and that while your manager can decide not to replace you, they cannot refuse to let you leave. Ask them to confirm your leaving date in writing. You don’t have to get angry, or nasty in the meetings, just stay firm and keep repeating that you are going to leave. If they continue to refuse, ask them to put their refusal in writing. You may also want to consider asking for someone to attend meetings with you as an independent witness.

Butterflyfern · 14/07/2024 12:55

Just to add, if your MD is refusing to accept your resignation, he's probably not processing it either. Make sure you send a copy to HR/payroll (and whoever else is most appropriate within your structure) so they can do the necessary and prepare your P60 or whatever

Also make sure it's the same dated copy you sent him to maintain your notice period

CandiedPrincess · 14/07/2024 13:00

They can't make you stay. Legally, they can't choose not to accept it, it's not their call!

skyeisthelimit · 14/07/2024 13:04

You have told them you are leaving, so you leave on that date, they cannot force you to work for them. Put it in writing to management and HR and remind them of your leaving date and include your original notice letter.

However, IF , they could do anything to make you stay, then give them a list of what is required to enable you to continue (and give a deadline for that to happen)

Pay rise
Extra staff to do XYQ
Exact job description for yourself and your duties
etc
etc

it needs to be leave or stay with changes, not just stay as things are when you are so unhappy

TimeForMyMonthlyNameChange · 14/07/2024 13:06

As others have said, they can’t refuse your resignation. They don’t own you. You are leaving at the end of the month. That’s it.

ObsidianTree · 14/07/2024 13:09

Are they offering you more money? Can you ask for things that will make your work life better? Like an assistant for you and a pay rise and bonuses added to your package?

Jifmicroliquid · 14/07/2024 13:14

You just leave on the date you have stated. What’s the issue?

If they don’t cover you, that’s their problem.

taylorswift1989 · 14/07/2024 13:14

Agree with pp, you've got all the power here. They don't want you to leave because they know you do loads and they don't know how the hell to replace you.

So, depending on what you want to achieve, I'd suggest the following:

  • agree to stay for a fixed term (e.g. 12 months) as Head of Operations on X salary (suggest 3x what you're currently on)
  • tell them that you will use this term to put systems in place and employ staff to assist with the work

I wouldn't just leave without attempting to negotiate a way better deal for myself. Even if it's a shitshow for the next 12 months, you can leave on a way better salary, with a job title that reflects what you've actually achieved, which is going to put you in a way better situation looking for the next job.