Boss refusing resignation letter

[Lou197]

I have worked for a company for about 10 years and have an admin role working for the MD. The company has grown massively as has my role and many people working in the firm don't really know what I do, I started as a secretary but my role has grown so much I am now writing all policies for the firm, managing the risk register, health & safety, IT, recruitment etc. We had a new MD start a couple of years ago, he is lovely but absolutely chaotic which has had a massive knock on effect on me and my role can now be very stressful. I suggested some changes but the MD was reluctant to implement them so although I love my job I resigned as I did not want the stress anymore and was very disappointed my suggestions were not actioned. I gave the right notice but the MD said they did not accept my resignation and asked me to reconsider, said they would implement some of the changes. During our meetings though they did not take any responsibility for the issues or the stress they had put me under, in fact made very lame excuses. I thought about it and just could not face the mountain of work I have to do when I felt so unappreciated and upset I had to resign to get any support offered. So I wrote again saying that I was resigning and my last day is at the end of July. Again they said they do not accept and asked me to reconsider. They have nothing lined up in terms of a replacement so knowing what I do I feel huge pressure to stay on longer, if I were to resign they would have to hire two people as I am doing so much for them, not blowing my own trumpet here but I have just been at the place so long and know how it all works so everything that needs doing gets done very quickly. I am on a good salary, flexible working and have young kids so that is great, and at 48 I am worried I will not get another job on such good terms so it is tempting to stay but I just feel bullied into it and dumbfounded that the MD feels they have power over me by saying they do not 'accept' my resignation. I don't think anything will change - partner thinks I should stay on for a few months to see how it goes but I am just so unmotivated and can't bear going through this leaving process again as I have loved it there it is really upsetting. I have savings for about 6 months so would have some breathing space. Any advice?

Resigning isn’t a 2 way process, they don’t get to decide whether they accept or not. Just leave on your last day and don’t go back.

They can't force you to stay. However, this should wake them up a bit and get them to put contingencies in place.
What would happen if you got hit by a bus or something? No one would have a clue what to do and they'd be up the creek.

They need to hire more people, split to roles up, train back ups, etc.

You really don't believe in yourself, so its better you stay and be put upon. We all know nothing will change - they'll make the right noises as they are paying you one salary to do two jobs - they've made you feel so insecure that you're more worried about how they will cope without you than actually about yourself and moving forward. Its all a real shame, as you are worth so so much more and they are taking advantage, aren't loyal to you and when push comes to shove you'd be treated like any other 2 year employee.

You are worth so much more - ffs start believing in ourself - you'll get another job easily, earning more and getting more job satisfaction and flexible arrangements

Everyone has given such great advice—but we are all like someone trying to help a woman leave a bad marriage in which she is codependent on the family. Deep down OP is not ready to walk away. She is hoping that something or someone will wake up and realize her worth and make it possible for her to stay. She feels like she is abandoning her baby/family and but for the bad MD everything would be fine. I hope she takes everyone’s advice and cuts the cord.

They are using emotional blackmail to get you to stay.

Either negotiate the improvements you need to stay or leave. Failing that, find another job and bugger off when it starts.

How many chances are you actually prepared to give them?

This is like those boyfriends who refused to accept a break up.

Have been in a similar position. Its a nightmare. I finished work took early retirement. More fool me I should have taken sick leave and sued for constructive dismissal. However I agreed to work from home on some projects involving tenders for 6 months. Received a call from him out of the blue after 10 years,to see how I was doing. He then told me his wife had divorced him the business had gone bankrupt and the bank had sold the house he had owned for 30 (2.5 million) years to clear the debt. He said his biggest mistake was letting me leave as I always new exactly what was going on within the company. Even his own son stole two of his product lines. Remember you work to live not live to work!

Honestly, I would negotiate more to make your job easier and pay increase. The job market is horrible at the moment. I'm 43 and qualified up to my ears but every job I go for has hundreds of applicants. I've started applying for things I don't really want just to supplement my income from a couple of part time jobs I did manage to get.

Ok sorry have not been on for a couple of days so have not seen all these replies... Sorry, boss extended holiday so have not seen him but have been busy! Had an interview and have been invited back for a second interview at another larger similar company. Slightly less money but similar terms. Really excited about it. And been spending the time without him writing my handover notes and making sure everything is straight. I am going to stick to my last day at the end of this month and will tell him as soon as I see him. If I don't get the job I am going to keep looking and relax a little. I am still very sad as it might well have got better with the changes he suggested but it is just too little too late. Thanks everyone x

It’s not negotiable, handing in your notice is you telling them you are leaving on x date. What are they going to do? Keep paying you when you don’t turn up the day after your last day? Exactly.

You literally have nothing to lose by asking for a 50% pay rise. They might negotiate down to a 40% pay rise - accept no less. Then stick it out for a few more months and line up a new job if the extra money doesn't make it any easier. If they say no, you were going to leave anyway.

I'd remind them that you leave at the end of the month and take your holidays until then.

If you get offered the new job ask them to match your current salary, there is a decent chance they will.

It really is their problem. If you’ve given the appropriate notice then they can't do anything about it. If you like or used to like the job then maybe try to come to some kind of arrangement. Get them to agree to your suggestions of changes and give a time limit of say 3 months and see if things improve.

Ask them to recruit an assistant for you if they want you to stay?

I think if you stay they need to re-evaluate your JD and work out an appropriate salary. You seem to be doing things way above your paygrade. To replace you they'd have to pay someone an accurate wage!

Look for another job perhaps where you will get paid appropriately.

Offer to stay for 1 year providing the fact they update your job title and document that they would find it impossible to replace you AND that they hire you an assistant.

The fact that someone in his pretty senior position apparently believes he can refuse a resignation and that it's absolutely lawful and normal to force somebody to continue working for him says a lot in regards to how much contact he has with reality.
I'm guessing he thinks he doesn't have to pay people for their annual leave either because they're not at work 🙄

It sounds like you have amassed a ridiculous amount of experience in regards to policy writing and admin, and should make your many skills obvious on your CV and any applications. He won't change so get out and good luck in whatever new job you choose

Good luck on finding a new job. You're an amazing employee as I wouldn't be leaving any! Notes. Serve them right the way things have been for you. Agree with others go sick with stress find a job and leave.

I would call ACAS and get some advice. Alternatively join a union and wait the minimum period before you can access fully supported advice (usually 4 weeks). Then speak with them, they can help you manage the situation.

Just to note that it is irrelevant whether your boss accepts your resignation or not, just make sure you send via email and copy to your personal email so you have a date for the record and you just leave after you have worked your notice period. That’s it whether they accept it or not. They don’t get to control you in that way.

He's not that bothered then, if he extended his holiday. I don't like the sound of him and I think you're doing the right thing.

Deffo leave - they can hire you back at 50% more !

You know it's irrelevant if they don't accept your resignation, don't you?
You're simply telling them that you're leaving on what is presumably the last day of your notice period.
When is the second round of the other job?

Take the increase in pay and the new job title. They will help you get the new job you need. You need interviewers to see you’ve clearly done what you say you’ve done: job title and salary back this up and you’ll find a new job quickly.
Before you accept, get your company to clearly lay out in writing what changes they’ll make.
start job hunting.
i bet you you’ll have a new job by the autumn.

Get them to improve your lot, you’re in a good position to do so. Find a new job and if it hasn’t improved. Leave.

leaving with no job seems crazy.