Boss refusing resignation letter

[Lou197]

I have worked for a company for about 10 years and have an admin role working for the MD. The company has grown massively as has my role and many people working in the firm don't really know what I do, I started as a secretary but my role has grown so much I am now writing all policies for the firm, managing the risk register, health & safety, IT, recruitment etc. We had a new MD start a couple of years ago, he is lovely but absolutely chaotic which has had a massive knock on effect on me and my role can now be very stressful. I suggested some changes but the MD was reluctant to implement them so although I love my job I resigned as I did not want the stress anymore and was very disappointed my suggestions were not actioned. I gave the right notice but the MD said they did not accept my resignation and asked me to reconsider, said they would implement some of the changes. During our meetings though they did not take any responsibility for the issues or the stress they had put me under, in fact made very lame excuses. I thought about it and just could not face the mountain of work I have to do when I felt so unappreciated and upset I had to resign to get any support offered. So I wrote again saying that I was resigning and my last day is at the end of July. Again they said they do not accept and asked me to reconsider. They have nothing lined up in terms of a replacement so knowing what I do I feel huge pressure to stay on longer, if I were to resign they would have to hire two people as I am doing so much for them, not blowing my own trumpet here but I have just been at the place so long and know how it all works so everything that needs doing gets done very quickly. I am on a good salary, flexible working and have young kids so that is great, and at 48 I am worried I will not get another job on such good terms so it is tempting to stay but I just feel bullied into it and dumbfounded that the MD feels they have power over me by saying they do not 'accept' my resignation. I don't think anything will change - partner thinks I should stay on for a few months to see how it goes but I am just so unmotivated and can't bear going through this leaving process again as I have loved it there it is really upsetting. I have savings for about 6 months so would have some breathing space. Any advice?

Just go on the stated day OP. You have informed him, if he ‘doesn’t accept’ that is his issue to sort. Make sure you have evidence of your resignation. Staying on now would be madness and just prove to the MD that he can walk all over you.

You've given your notice. You've told them your last working day. You've done your part. There's nothing else to do. They can't refuse your resignation; that's called servitude.

Not sure what the issue is here?

Well done for having the courage to give in your notice after being so long at this company and standing up to them. It sounds like you thought long and hard before actually giving in your notice and it can't have been made lightly.

Although they have said they will make some changes and asked you to reconsider, it seems like their actions don't quite match their promises - and I can understand after previously dismissing your proposals, you are probably not convinced.

You hold the cards here. They need you more than you need them. Especially since you already have an interview and not only that, you are through to second-stage and have 6 months' worth of savings to fall back on! (Well done). Also, as long as you have given notice as agreed by your employment contract, they cannot force you to work beyond that. So you can reiterate your leaving date. I wonder if they are dismissing your leaving date either because they are scared, don't believe you or are not taking you seriously? Either way, it shows a lack of respect for you.

My only advice is that do not sell yourself short. You have so much experience and just because it was all at one company for so long, does not mean it is less valuable. You have shown great loyalty and progression. Getting just as good if not better salary is possible so don't be afraid to negotiate. I highly recommend reading this book will help you get the best deal whether you decide to stay or go.

Good luck!

I take a very dim view of companies that pull out all the stops to keep you, when you hand in your notice. The things they offer should have been done before you handed in your notice. It smacks of poor management and unprofessional behaviour. You’re not asking their permission to leave, it matters not whether they accept your resignation or not. You are worth more than this shoddy treatment. Hold firm and leave on your final day.

Stay & sk that they get someone in to help you. even a art time Junior who can do some of the more menial work so you can gt on with the important stuff. If they say no to that go on the sick for a couple of months with work related stress. This will give the MD a look at how things will be if you do leave & may consider your suggestions a bit more seriously on your return. If things still don't change for the better when you return to work then do what's right for you & leave.

Just thought I would give a bit of an update...

Went for the 2nd interview and got the job, however when I went into the company to sign my contract they said they had received my references and would like to offer me a more senior role on better terms if I was interested! Of course jumped at it. Have been there a couple of weeks now and am so pleased, everyone is very friendly and it is obviously a much more professional firm than my last company.

When I told my previous boss that I was sticking to my resignation and leaving they became absolutely vile which made the last few weeks really horrible and just cemented the reasons why I should leave. They have still not hired a replacement for me.

Thanks for the support everyone, it was heartbreaking to leave some where I had been so happy at for so many years but it was definitely the right thing to do.

Absolutely bizarre. You are much better off out!

Great update. What arseholes, I'm glad you left them.

Brilliant news and congrats. A shame when an employer behaves like a twat but you are defo better off out.

I am sorry they were so horrible- but what a wonderful result to get offered a more senior role somewhere better !!!

Wonderful outcome!

so pleased for you.

Thanks for the update @Lou197 & I’m so pleased that your new job is going so well for you. Long may it continue!

What a fantastic update @Lou197 . Your old firm really couldn't have been a bigger bunch of arseholes. Onwards and upwards!

Great update, brilliant news, you had a very narrow escape

I am so glad you left, and are happy.

I read about some research that showed when an employee has an offer for a new job elsewhere but then accepts a counter-offer from their current employer and decides to stay, they nearly always end up leaving within the year anyway.

Once the employer knows you were looking elsewhere or you were prepared to leave, you are tagged as "no longer loyal, can't be relied upon to stay". With good reason - if you were happy in the job you wouldn't have interviewed elsewhere so you are already "half way out the door" emotionally.

They often recruit juniors to your team, or give you an assistant, but really they are planning your succession and your "assistant" will be your replacement. Then they change your job, give you different duties, move you to another room, make life difficult hoping you will change your mind again and leave, or as a last resort they might even make you redundant.

Evidence shows it is always better to leave the first time around, don't stay for a counter-offer.

Sorry about the vile bit, but that just confirms it was the right thing to do.

Congratulations! Your references must have been amazing (and well earned).

Stay in touch with your references and do something nice to say thank you to them.

Enjoy your well deserved new role.