Boss refusing resignation letter

[Lou197]

I have worked for a company for about 10 years and have an admin role working for the MD. The company has grown massively as has my role and many people working in the firm don't really know what I do, I started as a secretary but my role has grown so much I am now writing all policies for the firm, managing the risk register, health & safety, IT, recruitment etc. We had a new MD start a couple of years ago, he is lovely but absolutely chaotic which has had a massive knock on effect on me and my role can now be very stressful. I suggested some changes but the MD was reluctant to implement them so although I love my job I resigned as I did not want the stress anymore and was very disappointed my suggestions were not actioned. I gave the right notice but the MD said they did not accept my resignation and asked me to reconsider, said they would implement some of the changes. During our meetings though they did not take any responsibility for the issues or the stress they had put me under, in fact made very lame excuses. I thought about it and just could not face the mountain of work I have to do when I felt so unappreciated and upset I had to resign to get any support offered. So I wrote again saying that I was resigning and my last day is at the end of July. Again they said they do not accept and asked me to reconsider. They have nothing lined up in terms of a replacement so knowing what I do I feel huge pressure to stay on longer, if I were to resign they would have to hire two people as I am doing so much for them, not blowing my own trumpet here but I have just been at the place so long and know how it all works so everything that needs doing gets done very quickly. I am on a good salary, flexible working and have young kids so that is great, and at 48 I am worried I will not get another job on such good terms so it is tempting to stay but I just feel bullied into it and dumbfounded that the MD feels they have power over me by saying they do not 'accept' my resignation. I don't think anything will change - partner thinks I should stay on for a few months to see how it goes but I am just so unmotivated and can't bear going through this leaving process again as I have loved it there it is really upsetting. I have savings for about 6 months so would have some breathing space. Any advice?

Yes they have agreed to give me more money, a new title so it is clear to all what I do and some structured meetings so the directors are aware of risks etc

That sounds like a very poor offer. You're doing the work of several people and they're offering you no actual authority. You have some meetings with directors and that's basically it.

Nah, they're not seriously trying to negotiate with you, just do the bare minimum to keep you from leaving.

It sounds as though you have given your all to this business and it won't be fully appreciated until you've left. I don't think you're going to get the recognition and support you deserve.

Tell HR tomorrow that you require paperwork to confirm your leaving date, what AL is owed as at 31 july etc.

Tell him on Thursday that you've started making handover notes. Make it clear that your resignation still stands.

You apparently have great transferrable skills. I'm sure you'll be snapped up very quickly by a far more professional employer.

A resignation can’t be declined. You tell them the date that you’re leaving and don’t go back. They can’t drag you out of your house!

Dear Boss. If you want me to stay, you can
A) hire a temporary admin assistance to fill in until you recruit for the permament position of 'personal assistant to the MD' and
B) promote me, backdated to 1 Jan 2024, to office mamager with a 50% payrise and authority to implement the changes we discussed at our recent meeting.

If I receive confirmation of this from you, with a new contract by July 19th, I will continue in position for a trial period of 3 months. If the changes we disucssed on Xth July are not implemented in that time, I will leave.

If I do not receive these confirmations by 26th July, my last working day will be Wednesday 31st July.

Separately, I have emailed HR / Payroll to process my departure on 31st July including payment of 7 days annual leave due to me. I will expect this to go ahead including preparation of my P45 unless the abive steps have been completed by 19th July.

Leave your employed status on the day you have said
It's a resignation, not a suggestion they can refuse

But you could offer to work on a consultancy basis on a very high daily rate - just to handover to the new person/people whilst you look for something else...!

I have copied HR Manager into my emails, but they cannot start the recruitment process without the say of the MD and they are not sure of what they will be recruiting for as my role is quiet complex so he needs to be on board

And? How on earth is any of that your problem? It’s not. You seem to think you need their permission or they need to recruit in order for you to leave, which is madness. You have given them the date in writing, just leave on that date. Whatever transpires from there is their problem to deal with, nothing to do with you.

Some of this advice! You’ve two weeks left. Get a sick note for stress and dance off into the sunset on 31st July. The end.

Well you've only got 13 working days left. Have you got any accrued leave? You could go sooner.
Just don't arrive on the 1st August. Job done.

I completely understand.

It's not up to them whether you leave or not.
You hand in your resignation and you leave at the end of it!! They can't stop you in any way, shape or form.
You do not owe them anything. It's just a job.
If you're unhappy just leave.

Also if you do leave, and they contact you afterwards with bits and bobs, you don't have to do it, at all!!! infact you can charge them for your time.

Obviously you can just go at the end of the month.
But are you looking at this as being too black and white? Stay or go?
They want you to stay - but the pressure on you is too much.
Maybe there's a third way - You offer to stay, maybe 2 or 3 days a week. Increased pro rata pay of course haha. You help them recruit and train up someone who's going to do the grind. They can take the stress, but your boss knows you'll still be there - some of the time at least. Gives both you and him some breathing space, transition.

Ha they can't refuse a resignation. It's also not your job to make sure they have recruited a replacement or found agencies. You work your noticed then just stop going in, end of.

I can see your feel responsible, but it isn't your responsibility. This is why you've ended up doing all sorts over and above your job. No wonder they don't want you to leave. They'll have to employ 3 more people. Let this be a wake up call to making sure that your next company values you and doesn't take the piss.

Today, get online & check out requirement agencies for interim & full time office manager roles - the job that you know you are doing, but it’s not written ‘on your tin’.

Have a chat with a recruitment agent as well. Tell them all that you do everyday & have them reflect back to you what is a good description of your role AND the additional experience, skills, presentation you may need to do well in the current employment market.

You have several options all working to your favour, but they may not yet be fully fledged.

By finding out your ‘worth’ today from active recruiters, you will have more confidence in yourself, be a better negotiator & prospective employee. Be smart & keep this methodology to yourself, just present yourself better.

So you may be ‘persuaded’ to stay BUT (big but) only on the terms that suit you & directly contribute to your future employability, & this will include more money, an official job description & established role in the company organisation. Try this for a 6-12 months, keep your case packed in case you need to give notice. Bear in mind that said MD may be a muddle & also a sore loser, so keep your case packed & be ready to move on.

The alternative is to leave as you have stated, leave this muddle behind, & go into an ‘interim’ temporary office manager role to try out new places, up your skills & confidence & build new networks. If you are a good at interim management, you may thrive with a good employment agency behind you & a series of successfully completed short/medium term contracts.

Carpe Diem.

It's my statutory right to resign, which I notified you of on xx/xx/xxxx and my last working day will be xx/xx/xxxx and then send to HR and copy in boss.

They cannot stop you resigning.

Or negotiate what you would stay for, and make it really work for you!

BTW HR sound exasperated with MD if they share with you that they cannot get his sign off for an everyday business process.

You don’t want to stay in MD’s orbit too long as that will affect your self confidence.

Hmmm can you get this salary elsewhere? Don’t underestimate how lucky you have been to have the opportunity that the company has afforded you.

You also wfh which is a bonus

The workplace is rarely hassle free there’s always something or something to annoy people

Do you think MD said he refused to accept the notice if he knows you do not have another position to go to or MD thinks you have may been rash and given notice after a bad day/week at work? These are the only circumstances I have ever known a boss to do this tbh.

it sounds from your post that there is more to fix here then say a salary increase or an improved job title.

if you truly want to leave, then do it, you have given notice so there is nothing stopping you contractually. It is the employers responsibility to find cover, not yours to worry about. It’s a salaried job not your own business. Have you explored the job market recently?

You need to be 100% sure if what you want to achieve from the meeting before you meet MD, if you would consider staying state the circumstances that would keep you in post and confirm in writing cc’d HR what tasks you wish to delegate in order to do so.

Good luck going forward, do what’s right for you.

Random mess has a great idea.
Best solution

100% this.

You're letting them know that the last day you'll be in their employ will be the last day of July.

Whatever happens after that date is not of your concern, and if they have a smidgen of sense they will get the finger out and do something about it.

What I would do is schedule a meeting with both managers. You are chairing the meeting so you set the agenda - one item - date of your departure.
You are not interested in staying on longer, that is why you're leaving
You're not interested in seeing them implement any of the suggestions you made over the past 10 years but were shouted down or told there wasn't the budget for it - it's actually not your concern any more, it's theirs.

I'd create a shared folder somewhere that everyone relevant in the company, particularly management, has access to. Advise them that all of the documentation that they need is stored in this folder and whoever they get in to replace you will have to deal with whatever they can by using the documents in this folder. Your last day will be the last day in July and after that you are no longer contactable by this firm. Advise them that under employment legislation they cannot reject your resignation so what they are currently doing is against the law.
https://www.acas.org.uk/resignation/responding-to-an-employees-resignation

Either block their number on your phone or change your number and don't give it to them starting in August. Or you could come back at an extortionate daily rate in order to help the poor unfortunate who has been appointed as your replacement.

You have resigned. You have given notice. They don't have the right to refuse your resignation. Once your contractual notice has elapsed since you resigned, you no longer have any obligation to the company. Refusal to accept resignation, if it was legal, would be indentured servitude. It's not legal.

You need to keep copies in writing of all correspondence in case they dispute it. I think you should be absolutely clear in an email giving your employer the link of https://www.gov.uk/handling-staff-resignations and stating "I gave you my written resignation on (date) and my contractual notice period is one month so my last working day will be (date). My understanding is that you are legally required to confirm this in writing to ensure that we are concluding my employment here correctly, but you do not have the right to extend my employment beyond this notice period. Please acknowledge and confirm this"

Make sure you keep a copy somwhere that you will still have access to once you can no longer log in to work systems.

@Lou197 i've been exactly where you are. Started off as a part time admin and ended up running the company few years later. Work load was mental and the other managers they brought in weren't listening to me.

The stress was unreal. I loved the job and the owners but reached a glass ceiling I couldn't punch through and there was sexism at play.

Leave. You are emotionally invested and it will ruin your health and relationships. Make sure you save down examples of any material you created that you may need down the line. Policies, method statements etc. I'd also type up a written reference on headed paper in case they get nasty and don't provide one. It can just be factual and from "Human Resources".

But definitely go. Don't fall for the false promises.

It took me years to unpack the negative aspects and relax into a new role.

You’re in a brilliant position. I’d schedule a meeting with your boss and make clear that [day] is your last day with them as per the written notice you have provided.

If they object then state your requirements, immediate payrise of £x and an assistant or junior (apprentice?) to help you with certain aspects of the role.

If they don’t do it or won’t put it in writing just don’t go back after your notice period has finished.

It's very difficult to believe the MD, or anybody with any experience of employing people, would actually say the words "I reject your resignation"

Was your "resignation" email a bit ambiguous? To avoid offending people it can be tempting to write in a very "business passive" way ("under the current circumstances it might be not be appropraite for me to decide to continue the relationship...")

Resignation needs to be very clear though. Two paragrpahs. Last paragraph is simply "I expect my last day to be..."

Every word of this.
It will hurt at first, but it's the right thing.