Make up at work

[ZebraGiraffe12]

I posted previously regarding achieving a promotion and I am super happy about this and I love the promotion. However, I have had a meeting today about a complaint from one of our senior managers. Before coming back from maternity leave I liked to be very glamourous, high heels, make up, etc. However, since coming back from maternity I prefer a nice flat shoe or a small heel and minimal or no make up. If I am at home doing video conferences I will rarely wear make up, when travelling I will wear a bit (lots of photos taken).

Last week I was taking part in a training conference for managers across the world. It was a 5 day conference and on 4 of the days I wore no make up, on the second day I was presenting at the conference and decided to wear some make up. I have just had a meeting with a senior manager who has told me it was very unprofessional of me to not wear make up and that my face is part of selling the company and it needed to look professional. I feel absolutely awful and cried all through my lunch.

Someone please reassure me that I am not in the wrong and the senior manager at my work is. I haven't seen him since I was 4 months pregnant so I know my look has changed a lot.

Thank you

[Hagpie]

Them being mad at us for having actual faces! Wow! OP no you’re not in the wrong.

Love,
a make-up girly girl.

[skilpadde]

Gov.uk advice states:

It is advisable to avoid gender specific prescriptive requirements. For example, any requirement to wear make-up, have manicured nails, wear hair in certain styles or to wear specific types of hosiery or skirts is likely to be unlawful, assuming there is no equivalent requirement for men.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5b03ec7840f0b65520fd4297/dress-code-guidance-may2018-2.pdf

[flipent]

Exactly what do they think is 'unprofessional' about not wearing make-up?

I'm assuming your male colleagues are not expected to wear blusher and lipstick at these events?

[Raccaccoonie]

Have you got that in writing?
Was he even there? What a twat, of course he's wrong. Would be tempted to turn up in full drag queen getup when you next see him...

[Precipice]

Do the men at your company all wear make up? Was the senior manager speaking to you wearing make up? Flip it on him. He deserved to have you laugh in his face.

[PrinceLouisWeirdFinger]

I’d check with HR because it sounds to me that he just doesn’t like that you don’t look like the office eye candy anymore. If you looked neat, clean, and tidy, then you looked professional, unless it’s company policy to wear make up, in which case I hope he was wearing his.

[shepherdsangeldelight]

Does your manager wear makeup?

If not, why not?

[fluffycloudalert]

Oh dear. That is every kind of wrong, isn't it?

[ObliviousCoalmine]

Get it in writing and take it to HR.

Presumably he is not say there with foundation and lipstick on in the name of professionalism?

[Ponderingwindow]

You should consider reporting this manager to HR. Asking you to wear makeup is not ok.

[kitsuneghost]

Are the men expected to wear heels and full make up too
No. didn't think so

[PrinceLouisWeirdFinger]

We may have this all wrong. If, for example, it was a conference for Boots make up stylists and part of the event required you to showcase the latest products and produce a spring look you would wear then yes, YABU. If you’re marketing lint rollers then not so much. I’d also resent the insinuation that you were hired for your looks and it’s part of your job to be pretty.

[fluffycloudalert]

Send him an email: "Dear sexist prick senior manager, further to your conversation with me earlier today, please would you put your expectations regarding my appearance in writing to me. Many thanks".

[MumHereAgain2023]

Wow what a dick.

[LittleRedY0shi]

@fluffycloudalert

Send him an email: "Dear sexist prick senior manager, further to your conversation with me earlier today, please would you put your expectations regarding my appearance in writing to me. Many thanks".

Good idea to get a written record (and ensure he knows it), bad idea to do it in an open-ended way that allows him to backpedal. Email him a summary of your conversation instead - keep it factual and use direct quotes where possible.

[SapphOhNo]

Definitely get a written record. Does your company have a dress code/policy?

Also ask the senior manager about how much make-up he wears to work. Twat.

[shearwater2]

Yes, if it was a man I'd have gone fucking ballistic and asked him how much makeup he wears to work.

There was an actual case about this - it's harassment. Your boss is a total numpty. There was a big hoo haa about seven years ago about PwC sending a receptionist home for not wearing heels. Very embarrassing for them.

[INeedToClingToSomething]

@skilpadde

Gov.uk advice states:

It is advisable to avoid gender specific prescriptive requirements. For example, any requirement to wear make-up, have manicured nails, wear hair in certain styles or to wear specific types of hosiery or skirts is likely to be unlawful, assuming there is no equivalent requirement for men.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5b03ec7840f0b65520fd4297/dress-code-guidance-may2018-2.pdf

This. I would email a summary of the meeting to the manager and HR and then include this at the bottom. .

[Igmum]

I would love to see the senior male executives in full make up and heels. Of course he's a dick (unless you really do manage the Boots make up counter). Sounds like a very sexist firm.

[cannaecookrisotto]

I'm fucking outraged on your behalf OP. I'm at board level of an international organisation and I would be telling this manager that he's a discriminatory piece of shit and his days within the business were numbered.

If you looked clean and well groomed (by that I mean neat) then he can fuck right off.

[cannaecookrisotto]

Are there any very senior women on your board or exec committee you can speak to about this? I would want to know, and I would deal with it. Women have spent far too long fighting for equal rights within the workplace, we are not here to look "pretty" for the men.

Makes me so angry.

[Comefromaway]

Unless you work for a cosmetics company where you are expected to wear the products to demonstrate them or the men in the company are also expected to wear make-up then the manager is being very unreasonable and discriminatory.

[ZebraGiraffe12]

Thank you for everyone's response. I have met with one of the senior managers on our team today, she was slightly understanding. She did say she doesn't have children so doesn't understand the pressures herself. She did however inform me I do not need to wear make up or high heels as long as I present myself well. Which I did for our conference. Thank you for your advice I would never have arranged the meeting without all of your kind words.

[ObliviousCoalmine]

The being a parent part of this is a red herring.

Whether you have 9 children or 4 goldfish, the rules are the same. It's discrimination.

[SpaghettiWithaYeti]

Do the men all wear make up and heels?