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Original poster

Overwhelmed lawyer toddler mum

127 replies

serialplanner · 13/01/2024 21:30

Just a standard rant if anyone can relate.

I feel so sad today! Hormonal, but sad!

I work for a city law firm. Everything is so urgent and high pressured. It does not need to be! I am not a litigator or anything remotely important! I just work with such academic personalities where work is everything to them.

I have a 2yo. I don't want to miss bedtimes and work late.

The tricky thing is, our economy is to shit so I need my salary and I don't know what I could do that makes me £70k a year for 4 days a week work.

I know this is such a privileged rant. Please don't attack me but if you are a mum in a high stress job feeling like you can't do anything right it would be nice to know I'm not alone. I broke down in tears this morning because my boss was chasing me on something, I was trying to clear some emails so I could take my daughter out and forget about work for a few hours but as 2yos do she would not stop going on and it tipped me over the edge. I have felt suicidal before (I will not harm myself but you just get to a point of WHAT IS THE POINT)

I don't want that to happen again. I'm struggling. I don't know what to do right now and with the bigger picture.

I know you won't have the answers. I'm just desperate and confused xxxx

OP posts:
VictoriaMum323 · 10/11/2024 22:45

Readysetgooo · 10/11/2024 22:25

No advice but similar situation. Husband is also a lawyer. He really enjoys his job, I kind of fell in to it now trapped by the money.

My son is 20 months old and honestly, I'm not sure I've ever been happy as a lawyer but until I had him I don't think I realised.

Returning from mat leave, I lasted six weeks before being signed off with anxiety. It was just too much trying to work and parent, especially with my husband's role being so demanding and travel etc. It's given me time to reflect and I'm not doing this for the rest of my working life. It's not worth my health or missing out on family time. We want another baby so I'm going to try and make do until I have another mat leave under my belt then look for a KDL/PSL role or go in-house. Husband is hopefully going to be a partner next year which will give us a bit of financial freedom to let me consider my options which he's on board with.

@Readysetgooo ah best of luck with everything. It’s very hard in our industry to get the right balance.

Original poster
serialplanner · 11/11/2024 09:31

VictoriaMum323 · 10/11/2024 22:01

@serialplanner thank you, yes absolutely- you’re right. Kids are used to me working full time. I am wondering though if I should take the opportunity to pause in light of the current stages of my kids’ lives. It’s a hard one. If law was more flexible then I would absolutely pick a 3 day week. However this 5 day full time thing with a long commute 3 days a week has me sat on the tube feeling guilty often.

I had been discussing with a group of non-lawyers that I had a nanny and basically was told that the kids are only young once etc etc and I shouldn’t be outsourcing so much and it’s made me think I should revisit things.

I'm with you now! If you can afford it without financial stress it might be worth trying to take time out.

Although it might take a while to get the right opportunity, there will always be some kind of work we can do which is the blessing of our demanding career. No regrets as a mum then in the same way no regrets career wise?

Mission impossible to decide isn't it xx

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