When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

When I was told I wasn’t being kept on as they needed to cut numbers in the junior ranks. Firstly the decision was between me with near perfect performance reviews… and the boss’ nephew with poor performance… so even great work counted for sweet FA. Secondly they had no regard even for my feelings, in the same meeting they said I had to take out the interns for drinks as it was the last day of their work experience.

Corporate top tip which I saw happen to a more senior work person who honestly was so inspiring and just the most impressive at their job, the business made out like she should be targeting management level to get her to work all hours but on the side it seems they didn’t want to make management…. If they don’t want to keep you they will sometimes at performance review time of year make up a terrible performance review about you. And you will be so shocked and embarrassed they hope you crawl away. They’ll offer to put you under a review process to monitor your work. They hope you’ll instead just quit out of embarrassment. Very easy approach for them. Her self esteem took a massive dive after this, she quit out of embarrassment … weeks later her bosses were at the pub laughing in a semi awkward way about how they were glad it worked. Years later and I’ve seen this happen to maybe 8 other people at different workplaces, 7 women and one guy after he pushed to get decent pat leave.

Oh… also two juniors once reported to HR that a management level person was creepy (and having an affair with someone their level). Lo and behold they were let go within a year. If you complain to HR, remember they don’t work for you they work for management - they are your counterparty not your protection.

This is really common for a lot of people.

I’m in my 30s. I got made redundant 2 years ago from a company i’d been at for 10 years, then almost got made redundant again last month, only saved as i’m on maternity leave.

At most companies, you are just a number. That’s it. The decisions made will also be often be made by higher management who don’t even know you. Loyalty doesn’t mean anything as you were paid a salary for it.

Age also doesn’t matter really. We all have stuff going on.

Very early. I thought I was a terrible person for a long time because I saw the BS very clearly but would be talked to with distain when I made those feelings known. I still worked my way up into management. That was eye-opening. As an adult I’ve learned a bit about capitalism, the history of it, the Puritans, etc. and then The Economy and then some reading on disability and capitalism. I’ve realised I was bloody right the whole time.

Oh and how many people were pressured to work through Covid when they were on furlough, or made to come into the office when it was supposed to be shut, or their chronic health problems ignored (literally life or death) to do admin tasks for bosses like printing in the office and posting it to their homes because the boss couldn’t work his damn home printer. Didn’t happen at my
work but at best friend’s.

should say - I had early bad bad experiences, have moved and been long term at a place that’s nice, but ultimately your bosses will always care more about their money for holidays and school fees than anything about you. You have to fight for leave, salary etc - they’re never going to offer this to you.

I am in my fifties. I learnt this training to be a nurse in the nineties. The NHS was on the highway to where it is now. Coming to terms with the fact you are dispensable is hard but it's helped me to make decisions that were best for me, rather than for my employer.

some reading on disability and capitalism.

OriginalUsername2 Would you be willing to share some titles on this, please? Sounds interesting although probably bleak.

I was in my early 30s when someone said to me ' leaving any large organisation is like taking your arm out of a bucket of water. When you look back at the water it's as if nothing was ever there'.

Penny really dropped then and its been born out many times over during the years following.

It's not healthy to get so ingrained in an organisation as to think you're irreplaceable or get your identity so bound up in a job, when the wind changes you're left out in the cold.

I think the younger generations actually have a healthier relationship to the workplace. They're not falling for the loyalty and commitment to your employer lie that our generation did. That's why there's pushback in the press about the new generations having higher expectations of their employer. Good for them I say.

Early 40s when I was made redundant, and the 15 of us who were made redundant never heard from another member of staff again from the day they announced the consultancy to the date we left 6 weeks later. It was early covid times so all working from home. The 15 were furloughed and never heard from anyone, not even our line managers. It was disgusting. I realised then that they didn't give 2 shits about people. They have now 4 years later employed new people in our old jobs when the pandemic was over, even though there was no downturn to our work load during the pandemic and the CEO had the cheek to say it wasn't personal. It certainly felt personal to the 15 of us.

In my early 20s I worked for this company for 2 years. I commuted 1.5-2 hours on public transport each way. I was always early, only late once. Clients always requested me. At a performance review after saying nice things about me, she asked me if I had any concerns. I explained that the commute was getting too much for me, and I might have to look at more local work in the future. Well she became hostile and told me to just leave. I ended up handing in my notice that day, because I was worried about working there further. I realised that she didn't care about me and just wanted workers to do their jobs without complaining. All that extra unpaid time I'd give to finish off jobs, meant nothing to her. I learned to only do what was required in my next job, and that I was just a number.

No-one is indespensible/irreplacable, One major well known company took out a whole level of management (6 people) one Monday morning. "Collect your things and be out by lunchtime". Rumour was it saved £1 million in salaries at a stroke.

At 26, during the financial crisis. I survived the redundancy round and stayed in that job for another 8 years, but I saw others who had been very loyal and hard working who didn’t. The owners of that company were actually great people, loyal and principled, but they had to make tough decisions for the business to survive. I realised that even when good, kind people are in charge, that’s the harsh reality of it.

This! It's an exchange of a service, they give you money, you give your time to do an agreed task. Some jobs will treat you well, give you benefits, make you feel valued and respected but at the end of the day they're running a business in a capitalist society, your value to them will never go above or beyond the monetary value you provide. Even public service roles have to operate on a budget. Do the job you're contracted to do, do it well, and do it in the hours you're contracted to work, then leave and live your actual life with the people who aren't interacting with you on a transactional basis.

Thinking about it, when I go above and beyond it is either for my colleagues or for me (career progression), not for the company per se.

The NHS might be different, but often people that have stayed in a company for a long time don’t do it out of loyalty but more as a passive decision (ie no drive to look for another job, do interviews etc). Loyalty would be refusing a job offer with better conditions for altruistic reasons - for ex if you refuse a better job offer because the commute would be longer / you like your colleagues / you are not sure they would
offer flexibility : is that really being loyal to your employer or looking out for yourself?

Going back to the original OP, This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t value you, maybe the choice was to displease 1 loyal employee (you) or x employees (who might also be loyal!). I guess it depends what the decision was about and how many were positively impacted vs negatively.

Very early on, in banking in the 80s it was quite cut throat then and unless you could assert yourself you were taken advantage of.
In your position you should be able to fairly easily find another job, companies are crying out for experienced staff.

I have never thought that and I've worked at the same place for 33 years

Probably the day my dad lost his job back in 2003. He'd been with the company 25 years when they went bust. He was the one who had the keys to open up the building and he arrived to find the gates padlocked. Another colleague arrived to say the closure had been confirmed on the radio. They weren't informed directly. He had to wait three weeks before he was let in to retrieve his belongings.

In my teens. When I first started working. Of course we are replaceable. That's the nature of employment.

Had been at my job in different roles ( 2 promotions) for 8 years and I put them above all other areas of my life.
I had my son and their attitude changed towards me as I was leaving on time and not working silly hours anymore. Later that year I sent a transparent email to my two bosses and their boss stating that my dad had his cancer return and would be undergoing treatment and needing help so I wanted to get ahead of the field and put some cover measures in place in case I had to take off here and there ( IF )

My boss called my after I sent the email ( as she had never listened to me in person when I tried to talk to her about this) and said if I was going off sick I would be leaving them in the shit.

I was dumbfounded. Neither of the other managers contacted me back at all. I was shut out and made redundant 2 months later

I've always known this. but there are perks to employment. And therefore I've only ever put in the bare minimum. it's worked for me though, I've had plenty of promotions! You're filling a role, and are always replaceable.

I went freelance as my 40th birthday present to myself. I’d known for a couple of years that work was a shithouse but I was 40 when I resigned.
It was great.
Being freelance is great.
No regrets.

When my flexible working request was turned down ahead of my return from maternity leave, despite my boss agreeing to it when I first mentioned it. She was the person to make the decision on the formal request.

I sent an email pretty much begging her to reconsider and she didn't even reply.

I always thought we got on well and were pretty friendly; now I don't trust her at all.

Probably late 20s after seeing how the company I was working for made redundancies, it’s brutal and having seen many redundancy processes since in different companies I know they can talk all they want about a family culture or how much they value their people but as soon as a monetary decision needs to be made you are a number to them and nothing more. That’s business, people!

In my twenties when being made redundant, it doesn't matter how dedicated or committed you are , when the axe swings it swings and you are just a number