When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

Around 26. I was being bullied at work and when I raised a grievance, they found every excuse possible to dismiss everything I complained about. Even when I had witnesses to him shouting at me, they said I can’t prove it wasn’t him just being animated.

I left and went on to bigger and better things, but soon after I left I heard that he made the HR person who investigated my grievance cry by shouting at her, so as horrible as it sounds, I was pleased about that. Unfortunately he has also gone on to bigger and better things at the company too.

I've always known. I turn up, do my job and get paid. I'm hardworking, always try to give my best and think I'm generally a good employee.

I've never thought I should work unpaid hours out of a misplaced sense of dedication or loyalty. Sure, on occasion overtime has been needed but if it was on the regular, with no pay or time in lieu offered I would speak to my manager to confirm the arrangements.

Early 20sor possibly earlier when I worked I. McDonald's as a student. I have always worked, I turn up, I do a good job and then I go home. I am the best I can be within my job description but never volunteer for anything that takes me above and beyond and I never work free overtime. I left the job before this one because the constant pressure to extend yourself etc was ridiculous. Specially when you wouldn't get paid more!

So

This happened to me 2 years ago this week - I got turned down for a promotion by my manager (who has since been moved sideways and no longer has a team 🤔)

I had enough - this is what happened to me

Got a new job (left 10 years service) same money in a start up exciting all going well. 12 weeks in they made me redundant was not happy

Old client offered me a role as soon as they heard I was not working this turned into a great job for 18 months and I did have a different job title - I was doing something similar but it was great experience and I did some fantastic projects.

Was 'headhunted' for another role with a global brand I never ever would have applied for when I was in the old old job - the 2 in between jobs helped on the CV and gave me a bit of a more variety. The new job is lovely fantastic culture and is 40% better wages than the first one

This is an opportunity for you go for it I am 54 and I love my new role and funnily enough the experience is really useful !

Good Luck (and pm me if you want a chat!)

very early on in my working days, probably my 20's when someone made the point that no-one is irreplaceable when a colleague was let go

I'm a millennial so i dont think I ever went into the workplace expecting loyalty like previous generations and EVERY time I've shown loyalty to a company i've had my fingers burnt - there's no such thing thesedays, you just have to keep ducking and diving your way to retirement.

I think when I was about twenty five. I had a job I really liked but then they were relocating. It was my choice if I (and others) went or not but it was clear that the company wasn’t bothered either way as they’d just fill the spaces at their new location.

When I didn't get a sympathy card, when my dad died, and when I found my boss reading up on the details of his death - It was reported in the local paper.

I think when you have that sort of longevity at a company you assume that you are valued.

For me I was 15 years in, I watched one of my colleagues retire about 46 years service and not one senior manager came to say cheerio on his last day. I realised then and there that I had sweated blood for this company and they just didn't care and I had to get out.

I was quietly preparing my CV and getting some interview experience in when an offer for voluntary redundancy came up, I took it. I did a total career change and got a job in a totally different organisation and I love it. But, I work my hours and nothing else.

Stayed in my first job for 15 years. I used to go to an annual conference and half kill myself with the stress of trying to network and make a good impression. It finally dawned on me that it was a new set of head office bods every time, and therefore totally pointless… took me a while to leave, but my try hard-ness stopped after that realisation

Mid 30s. Worked for a company where all the changes they made negatively impacted on staff. Despite that I still worked hard. Applied for the role above me three times, very similar to the role I was already doing, but was rejected. On each occasion, they hired from external applicants and each left within weeks of starting.

I was told by my manager I would NEVER be considered for the role since I had no ‘relevant’ experience on my CV - briefly speaking I was an account manager and the new role was a key account manager. They apparently wanted just sales backgrounds. Bullshit as I knew what the job entailed and I had spent months shadowing a person in the role. So I handed in my notice and left with immediate effect and highlighted their poor recruitment practices.

They have gone downhill more since I left, all the nice people I knew there have moved on for reasons similar to mine.

Anyway - fast forward 3 years and funnily enough I’m now a regional sales manager. And I earn triple the salary I was on there.

Health care gets you for longer I reckon. All that the team and the patients need you, etc........no one cares about or for you, and all they are interested in is the bottom line. You are always replaceable. They know that and need you to ignore that

About 30 when two older women were made redundant. They were low paid but worked so hard and went above what most would do at that pay grade. Management did not care.
Reinforced when I was about 40 in a national charity when a hard working staff member died. The people she supported were devastated. Management were literally shrug, she had poor health for a long time anyway.
Workplaces want loyalty from staff but give none back.

In my late 20s. I took three days off sick due to a miscarriage and my boss complained that she'd missed her day off because of it (one of us always had to be on the premises) and that she expected me to work extra time the following week.

Sending hugs as it’s a hard realisation, whatever age it hits you.

I left big corporate around 30 and hoped it would change when I moved to a smaller, family owned company. Nope. They got bought by private equity within a few years and sadly I find myself not wanting to return after my second maternity leave as I’m now just a number again, despite being part of the management team and they couldn’t care less about their people. Such is life.

I’m going to move on and decide what works for me and my family. Loyalty means nothing, it has to work both ways. Hope you find something that makes you happy.

I'm very much like you OP but I realised in my 40s and stopped trying so hard.
I've seen it so much over the years that I've stopped caring so much and take less pride in my work which isn't a good place to be but hard to drag myself out of.

I find it helps to realise that it's not just work. It's life as a whole. There were billions before us, and there will be billions after us. The only people we matter to are those around us whilst we are here. And once they're gone, we are forgotten.
Puts it all in to perspective.
And on that cheery note...... 🤣

Always knew. I started summer jobs at age 13, and always understood that I was there to make the business money, and could easily be replaced.

I make an effort to do my job well, for my own satisfaction and to ensure that I am not making my colleagues' lives difficult. I'm good enough to have progressed. But you'd never catch me working late. I don't give that much of a shit. I am not considered special or valued by my company for any more than my output and the cost of replacing me.

I'm just here to make some rich fucker even richer.

This really.

When our head of department referred to people leaving the team as 'natural wastage'.
Nothing like dehumanising language to make you realise you're just a bum on a seat.

The thing is, when you for instance put in 150%... Unpaid overtime, going above and beyond... It becomes expected, you're paid to do x hours but it actually takes y hours to do the work, it then become normalised.

That is the level you must work at, all the time. So it isn't seen as anything special.

They also know what your boundaries are like and your willingness is, so they take the piss.

even worse it becomes a culture, where everyone is working above their contracted hours because the work needs to be done no matter what, so instead of employing enough staff, they put the pressure on the staff they have. Some people leave, and the ones that stay will keep being put up on and keep doing so thinking they are loyal, good working, it means something...when it comes to redundancies, the manager will protect their flying monkeys/favourites

If you want to know how much you would ever be missed at work, take your hand out of a bucket of water and see how much of a hole it leaves.

This is just as it should be - organisations should not ever be left with a perceptable hole when someone goes. But yes, it can sting on a personal level to find out work has often been a significant part of your life but your work has not been a significant part of your employer's existence.

Instead, focus on the benefits you will have brought to clients, customers, colleagues. In your case, patients. The millions of tiny ways you made their lives a bit easier.

I know someone who missed the birth of his child due to work and then was made redundant not long after.

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. But it’s good you’re realising this now through a management decision rather than at a time of need (bereavement, sickness etc.) when your employer turns out not as supportive as you’d expect.

I realised this early on thanks to my DH who’s in management and kept hammering the point as soon as I started working. I have been with the same company for a few years, get on with everyone, even see my managers socially occasionally. But when it comes to raises, promotions etc. I always tell myself that I’m an employee, if the company was in trouble and they had to make me redundant they would.

I have friends like you, always doing unpaid overtime, never asking for more money than they’re initially offered, giving 100% and more for little in return. They’re the ones who’ve been made redundant during covid, been taken advantage of by unscrupulous employers etc. I’m afraid loyalty doesn’t mean much these days. It’s all about the value you bring and your ability to fight for your rights.

I think I was 33 when after having worked for a company for 10 years and having done a great job for them I was made redundant. There were ways around it that could have been found which still would have saved them money (just not as much money). I realised then that there is no point in going hell for leather at work. No one cares about the Late nights and Christmas's worked, the stress, the tears. Since then I've done what needs to be done and well when at work, but nothing more. There is much more to life.

I’ve known for a long time but it hit home the other year. I have a manager who puts his heart and soul into his work and goes above and beyond for his team. He set up new systems, has been featured in national news papers about our work and other models of the work he started was replicated in different authorities.
He was severally attacked by one of our services users and was hospitalised for a couple of weeks. The manager was told he had to accept the person who attacked him back into his care. He refused and said if he had to do that he would leave. The response from senior management in their towers was ‘fine’
It crushed him and really altered his perspective. He was the best manager ever.