5 days bereavement leave for losing Mum, is this poor?

[TeapotCollection]

A colleague of mine lost her Mum over Christmas and she’s been told that’s all she’ll get. I think that’s shocking for the loss of a parent, interesting to hear if it’s normal. 5 days includes the day of the funeral as well

When I lost my Mum they gave me longer but we had different owners then, I was very surprised to hear this

I’m not entirely sure but if I were her I’d be going to the gp and getting signed off for a while because there’s no way I’d be ready to face work after 5 days.

No it’s standard. I work in HR. If a staff member lost their mum and only took the 5 days I would be making a welfare call to check they had enough support. I would fully expect the 5 days compassionate leave to be followed by them being signed off sick by their GP (and if I didn’t get this I would be encouraging it).

It's fairly normal.

Most people get signed off for longer though

I think it's pretty standard. As pp said if you aren't well enough to work you can then get signed off? That's what I did when my mum died.

I didn’t think of that, there’s no way she can come back so soon she’s beside herself

Thanks folks, I’ll tell her later when I speak to her

I think that's pretty standard but it's also completely expected that the bereaved will take sick leave for more time.

It's fairly standard, although some places will give the time off up until the funeral.
She needs to contact her GP and get signed off sick if she needs longer off.

My manager gave me five days off when my dad died. I was subsequently told they’d made a mistake and I could have it as annual leave or unpaid leave. This was NHS.

As far as I’m aware, it’s usually two weeks (so, 10 working days) and the employee chooses whether they take a week off and then a second week off later, or both weeks as a two week block. Employees may be signed off by a GP to extend the leave. In smaller companies, it can be less formal and might be a chat with a manager as opposed to a formal GP sign off.

The poor friend

Yes, I think this certainly used to be standard. My mum died really suddenly one Christmas eve! She was quite young as well (in her 50s). I also got 5 days bereavement leave, but actually found work a good distraction. If I hadn't been up to it I would have signed myself off though.

It is crap. I know a lady who sadly lost her son in an accident when he was a toddler. She also got 5 days! I think that has changed now, but it was all you got back then. Horrendously unfair and sad

My contract only gave me that when my husband died. But if course my GP signed me off, as my workplace expected them to.

My dad's death was expected so I only took one day off after the news, and the funeral day. Being busy worked better for me, but of course had circumstances (or my coping mechanism) been different I think I could have taken three days.

Pretty standard as the official bereavement policy in most places I’ve worked but most places/managers have been a lot more flexible in practice. At the least she could probably get signed off by her GP if she’s not ready to go back after five days.

Surely it depends on individual needs. My father died on a weekend and I was in work on the Monday. I took a day off for the funeral.

I wasn’t close to him so didn’t feel I needed any time off. Others who have far more intertwined lives with their parents likely need much more time to process things.

I was given two weeks leave when my Dad died. I was in the RAF then. He was single and I was his only child, so an awful lot of responsibility fell on me out of the blue, with only a relatively short time to complete everything. To be honest a fortnight wasn't really enough time, but I just carried on, being young and naive back then.

5 days compassionate leave plus the day of the funeral is pretty normal, anything more is sick leave signed off by your gp, or annual leave if it's to sort out paperwork etc. gp's will sign people off

Ours will give up to 10 days paid depending on circumstances - most people take additional time via annual leave or sick leave though. I think we start at 5 days and can add a further 5 at manager discretion.

We had a colleague whose spouse died in an accident, very young family. They had several months off as there were practical issues as well as emotional. Whereas my director took 5 for her elderly parent but then worked at home on and off for another week or so longer plus did some short weeks for a while. That wasn’t unexpected and she had less to organise.

It’s pretty relaxed in my sector though (HE).

I took several weeks off sick after my Mum died - I had hurt my elbow moving furniture and the effect of losing my Mum just meant I was handling pain very badly. I couldn't hold anything in my affected arm so really wasn't fit for work.
DH has lost his Mum recently but will take a week off and work a slightly reduced week after that as their circumstances are different - her death was expected and he's quite calm and collected about it.
It's different for everyone. But a weeks leave is pretty standard even if it feels like very little time.

It's fairly standard, but there is normally an option for discretionary leave on top of that. Not everyone is distraught at losing their mum, people grieve differently and under different circumstances. Your employer should be flexible where necessary.

5 days in my company- however i know my onw boss very good and will also give other leave and paid sick leave if required. He lost his own mother a few years ago and knows what it is like. Unfortunately for another friend of mine, his company only gave 3 days for parent ( which is shocking) and he had to use annual leave as he was left organizing everything plus had to deal with the police etc aswell due to the circumstances of the death. You dont know how grief will affect you at all, i only got three days for my own father in law at the time, but ended up taking two months a bit after as wasnt coping at all

Not unusual, my workplace generally gives 3 and that’s public sector. Most people will then take sick leave

I’ve heard five days is standard, but I’ve always worked at big companies who seem to approve additional paid leave for the bereaved. DP was given a month.

It’s a bit ridiculous that people always take longer but five days is still officially standard.

It’s 5 days here for a parent but everyone gets signed off for longer if needed (and it seems to be expected that they will be signed off - there’s definitely no pressure to return before you’re ready)

Agree it's pretty standard but as others have said then employers may have flexibility or suggest a sick note.
I took 2 days when my dad died- the day he died and a day for true funeral. I had pre booked annual leave the week after and I needed the distraction of work (still do!)

It’s only 3 days (including the funeral date) where I work (local authority). Nobody is ready to come back to work 3 days after losing a loved one. My colleagues who have faced this situation have been signed off sick.

I think that is fairly standard , normally people just get signed off by the GP if they need more . When my dad died I had 2 nights off , then my days off and then went back so it was about 8 days off in total . From my POV staying off wasn’t going to make me feel any better about it .