5 days bereavement leave for losing Mum, is this poor?

[TeapotCollection]

A colleague of mine lost her Mum over Christmas and she’s been told that’s all she’ll get. I think that’s shocking for the loss of a parent, interesting to hear if it’s normal. 5 days includes the day of the funeral as well

When I lost my Mum they gave me longer but we had different owners then, I was very surprised to hear this

Standard but most decent managers will strongly hint you call GP and get a sick line for bereavement for a couple of weeks.

My uni were also horrendous when my mum was in late stages of cancer / passed away (we only found out a year before she died). Put me off the rest of my time there to be honest, no referrals to counselling or anything. I hope welfare is better now than it was 15 years ago.

Only 3 days where I work, which is rubbish, but most people get signed off by their GPs. I don't know how anyone could be expected to work.

Very normal, some companies don’t even off this.

How long would you expect/ be happy for the GP to sign them off for, out of interest?

It's standard. Most people get signed off sick

Tbh, getting back to work helped me. I needed a few extra breaks and didn't get as much work done as I might have normally. but having something else to focus on for some of the time helped me.

I agree with this, and other posts.
I think having some sort of 'normality' and 'routine' or structure was very helpful to me when each of my parents died. We are all different, and there is the option of using AL for some or getting signed off as unfit for work, but - having lost both of my parents at a relatively young age - you aren't "better" or "over it" even if they gave you 10 days, or a month. It takes years for some people to wrap their heads round losing a beloved parent, you can't really expect companies to offer all that as bereavement leave.

When my dad died last year I was working through an agency, who told me that Bereavement Leave was not something they did (my CS manager had mentioned the possibility of 2 or 3 days).

They were happy to agree annual leave for the funeral without the usual week's notice - though I'm not sure what they'd have done if I'd used up all my accrued leave. Might have had to take unpaid.

As the furthest-flung of several siblings, the eldest of whom had taken on full-time care, I didn't need to take time off for admin.

It didn't occur to me to take time off to grieve. (Though in the six months after my mum died in 1995 I was on several occasions off with a migraine. My manager apologised profusely for having to do a verbal warning.)

My partner's mother died unexpectedly exactly 3 months ago...he was given 2 weeks compassionate leave by his work, and has been signed off by his GP since (with his work's full agreement). He's received full pay the whole time and today was his first day back...he's going back on a part-time basis until the beginning of February.

I got 2 days 40 years ago for my mother's funeral...no time off at all following her actual death.

My dad died on Boxing Day last year, I got one day compassionate leave & then would of been expected back in work in full happy party spirit (care home)
I went to my gp who luckily didn't agree with my employer & signed me off for 2 weeks with instructions to go back if I felt I needed longer.

It sounds standard. My dad died on a Wednesday and I went back the following Monday because any longer felt like taking the piss - was able to take 2 days compassionate for the funeral.

5 days in my company. But no issue or concern if people get signed off after that.

Some people want to go back to work - for normality or whatever. Both DH and I have lost a parent, in fairly unexpected circumstances, but we both wanted to go back and get some sense of normality and routine.

My company has 5 days as standard but you can have more at managers discretion

Same in my country, employer gives three because the rest is sick leave signed off.

When my Mum was very ill with pancreatic cancer I handed my notice in and left as soon as she got diagnosis as stage 4 and told she only had 3 months left. I could have got 3 months off but decided to leave. I moved in with her. She died 5 weeks later. I got a new job about 3-4 weeks later. My sister fell to pieces and was signed off with stress for 4 months. My younger sister went back to work after 3 days and just took another day for her funeral. Everyone copes differently.

Average first sick line would be 2 weeks for bereavement then after that if the person isn’t coping would be further lines that would be more specific (depression etc). Obviously if it’s a parent who’s lost a child initial sick line might be a lot longer but that would be a special circumstance & likely long term sick that HR would discuss with the individual. Usually saw 2wks for an adult who’d lost a parent or sibling.

Here it is 2 days. People who near longer get signed off sick after the 2 days.

It’s normal as far as I understand but I took 2 weeks off sick, 5 days self certified and 5 signed off by the doctor when my dad passed away. 5 days was not enough especially when the funeral is normally 2 weeks after the passing.

Absolutely no surprise there.

My company gave me 5 days when dd died suddenly a few years ago. I will never forgive my line manager for INSISTING I got signed off by a GP to take longer off, even after I explained there would be a post mortem and it would take weeks. As a line manager myself I use discretion when anyone suffers a bereavement/ is attending a funeral/ has another personal issue that means they need some time off.

Ours is 5 days paid special leave plus another 5 at manager's discretion (never known it to be refused if requested, it's usually offered but some people want to come back and keep busy) . Following that if someone was struggling they'd be referred to OH, counselling if wanted and encouraged to go the GP to get signed off. The work I do is incredibly emotionally and psychologically challenging, you just can't do it if your MH isn't really sound.

She should get signed off sick until she is ready to return. Five days is probably standard with most then getting a note from the dr.

Same here.

But actually a fair few people do come back quickly. Some people prefer routine and occupation, in which case that is facilitated with some flexibility.

One company I worked for only gave a day for the death of a spouse/parent/child!