5 days bereavement leave for losing Mum, is this poor?

[TeapotCollection]

A colleague of mine lost her Mum over Christmas and she’s been told that’s all she’ll get. I think that’s shocking for the loss of a parent, interesting to hear if it’s normal. 5 days includes the day of the funeral as well

When I lost my Mum they gave me longer but we had different owners then, I was very surprised to hear this

Standard. I have never come across anyone taking extra as sick leave either.

When my mother died I was allowed to go home after I’d got the phone call, one day for organising the funeral and then the day of the funeral. Extra time could be requested but would be unpaid IF granted.

⬆️ this!

In most places ive worked in dont think they had any bereavement leave at all

Christ that school must hate you. Usually people get much more than that.

3 days is usual at places where I have worked.

The problem with telling people to get signed off sick is that if you are on SSP not many people can afford to live on that.

@Hoxite274764 just standard Local Authority policy, it’s appalling.

I've luckily not had to deal with this yet but I'm surprised compassionate leave is so short and then it's standard to go to the GP to get signed off sick... surely if it's to be expected to take longer then the GPs are wasting a lot of time ticking this box? (Not saying ppl shouldn't be signed off, just that it seems odd for NHS to do it).
Or are they also doing valuable checks on you when they sign you off?

Still doesn't sound right.

I don’t think a few days is unreasonable in most cases provided there is provision for those who feel they need longer.

The impact the loss of a parent has varies immensely. Many people only need the day of the funeral off whereas others need months.

I've been in this position recently. I had to ring up every few weeks to request a new note and they would discuss how I was feeling, my mental health, support they can offer or other places I can go to for support like CRUSE. It can also be good to talk to someone in this kind of role sometimes. You don't always get the same level of compassion or interest from friends and family who have got over the grief/their life carried on as normal. It's not always just a box ticking exercise.

When I had my daughter who was still born my work gave me 5 days off and then told me I needed to be in bright as a button on the Monday! I couldn't get out of bed never mind go to work and face clients all day! I handed in my notice and now I own my own business.

Are saying I’m lying?

Yeah it's not fair is it that's no where near enough

No I believe you only got 2 days off. If it is the correct amount of time then either accept it or find another job

Came to say this I think NHS is 2 days,although like pp most take sick then

I took several weeks. I'm not sure how long in total, because I effectively did a phased return and no one was counting. My employer specifically told me that I should take whatever time I felt I needed, and I gratefully accepted.

The fact it was an expected death did not make it easier. Years of anticipatory grief hit me all of a sudden and I was a wreck.

No, going back to work sooner would not have been a distraction. There were some days when I couldn't stop crying, and I physically hurt from it. I couldn't do my job, because I needed to be able to think rationally for it.

I didn't expect to collapse in this way. I started doing bits and pieces on the days when I wasn't sobbing, and gradually built it up from there.

My employer now has my loyalty for life, which frankly, is priceless. I have very niche, very sought-after skills, and I get headhunted all the time.

Treat your employees like people, and the rewards are huge.

Thanks @blooblom - good to know at least GPs can provide this sort of listening ear.

I got 6 days.

3 days (incl funeral) for a spouse, child or parent in the private company where I work, then unpaid, annual or sick.

I got three days for my father and so did DH. We called our GP and got a two week sick line for bereavement (‘y boss actually told me to do that).