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Original poster

Didn't get a thing for Christmas from my boss

141 replies

Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 12:42

He has cleared off now for Christmas so no time left for a last minute pressie! It's my second year working for him and last year he didn't bother either. I feel I'm being treated differently, as my predecessor (who has now retired) used to get loads from him at Christmas and throughout the year. I feel disappointed that he obviously doesn't like me or something. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel embarrassed too I've been left out. I office share with four other secretaries and their bosses have got them £50 vouchers each from various stores and I'm left out 😓. I think it might be best to get a new job.

OP posts:
ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 21/12/2023 12:52

Leaving presents aside, what's he like to work for?

CarrieMoonbeams · 21/12/2023 12:53

Ouch, that's not on really is it? I mean, I know it's his money, maybe the COL is biting him too, or any number of other things, but still, I feel for you.

Do you normally get on well with him? Is he a good, supportive and appreciation boss?

tescocreditcard · 21/12/2023 12:54

It's hurtful if the others got something but essentially, your pay is all you're entitled to. It does say a lot about what he thinks if you though

Invisimamma · 21/12/2023 12:55

Your boss doesn't need to get you a Christmas gift. How is he to work for otherwise? I've never had a gift from my boss and I don't take it personally.

Janieforever · 21/12/2023 12:57

You’re going to leave as you don’t get a crimbo pressie?

arethereanyleftatall · 21/12/2023 12:58

What did you get him?

WashItTomorrow · 21/12/2023 12:59

I’ve never heard of anyone getting a Christmas present from their boss!

AuntieDolly · 21/12/2023 12:59

Perhaps he took the retirement as an opportunity to stop buying. I would appreciate a gift, but wouldn't expect it

IncompleteSenten · 21/12/2023 12:59

Was he banging the last person maybe?

easylikeasundaymorn · 21/12/2023 13:00

Invisimamma · 21/12/2023 12:55

Your boss doesn't need to get you a Christmas gift. How is he to work for otherwise? I've never had a gift from my boss and I don't take it personally.

I do think that in a large company its a bit different though. If OP does the same role as several others and they all got a present (and the same present which suggests they all discussed it and her manager was the only one to opt out) it does edge on favouritism.

I appreciate the lines are blurred when it's the boss's personal money but understand why OP would feel upset. Absolutely fair enough if he didn't want/couldn't afford £50 but a card with nice message and a box of chocolates would be fine if (as there clearly is) there is a culture of gift giving in the office.

Obviously if it was an office where gift giving was discouraged or not the norm it would be different but is clearly is the norm here.

In terms of finding a new job if the job is otherwise fine I wouldn't cut off your nose to spite your face for the lack of a £50 voucher but I also wouldn't go above and beyond your job role in helping boss in the future. Is there any chance of a transfer within the company instead?

Teeshirt · 21/12/2023 13:01

Did you get him a present? I have to say, present-giving like that would be frowned upon at my workplace. We’re not allowed to accept gifts, in any case.

easylikeasundaymorn · 21/12/2023 13:02

WashItTomorrow · 21/12/2023 12:59

I’ve never heard of anyone getting a Christmas present from their boss!

Really???? I've always had something even working in public sector where you don't usually get much in the terms of financial bonuses. Not £50 gift card level though, usually more along the lines of a box of chocolates/bottle of something.

Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 13:03

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ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 21/12/2023 13:05

The important question is, what's he like otherwise?

He might have got into a cycle of rather pointless gift giving with the previous woman and just decided to draw a line under it.

If he's a decent boss, I don't think it should worry you.

In my 30 years of working, I've had some managers who gave Christmas gifts and some who didn't. It's not worth getting worked up over.

Original poster
Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 13:09

I think it's because I feel left out and I'm offended more than anything else. We just joke around together when I see him a little, which we don't see often our bosses, but that's about it......I just feel rejected.

OP posts:
CarrieMoonbeams · 21/12/2023 13:10

WashItTomorrow · 21/12/2023 12:59

I’ve never heard of anyone getting a Christmas present from their boss!

I suppose it depends on how many people are in the team, or how closely the person works with their boss.

I was a PA in the past and my (female - just in case anyone thinks there was some sort of ulterior motive!) always used to buy me a bottle of Chanel No 5 and a bottle of Bailey's for Christmas, and vouchers to a fancy restaurant for my birthday.

When she retired, my next boss was male. He knew I was going to London for my birthday, so he gave me a voucher for Afternoon Tea at the Ritz for me and DH, and a bottle of champagne and a beautiful little dog ornament for Christmas. I retired after that, but it certainly wasn't unusual for any of the bosses to buy that level of gift for their PA.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 21/12/2023 13:13

CFO at exjob never even managed Happy Christmas and thanks for all your work this year, OP, let alone a present. That might account in part for the near 100% turnover the last few years.

CarrieMoonbeams · 21/12/2023 13:14

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Oi, cheeky, even greying old women can still be sexy y'know! (Only joking with you @Miffed52 , as I said initially it must be hurtful.)

Barleysugar86 · 21/12/2023 13:14

As a PA I got a bottle of £25 ish Champagne from my boss every year, as did the other PAs. Think they organised it with the other directors and possibly regifted corporate gifts but we were happy to receive them. This is at best careless at worst unthoughtful from your boss, you have different managers but the PAs always saw themselves as a team and sat together so should be treated the same.

WashItTomorrow · 21/12/2023 13:15

easylikeasundaymorn · 21/12/2023 13:02

Really???? I've always had something even working in public sector where you don't usually get much in the terms of financial bonuses. Not £50 gift card level though, usually more along the lines of a box of chocolates/bottle of something.

Show quote history

I have never had anything, and I have always worked in the private sector. My manager has about 15 people in her team. She couldn’t possibly be expected to get us all presents. And I’m sure it wouldn’t be allowed either.

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/12/2023 13:18

Unless you do a very personal job for an individual i.e. are one of a tiny handful of employees of the small company they own or work as a member of their private household or family office, I don’t really think it’s reasonable to expect a present - otherwise how do they justify not giving presents to all their other colleagues as well? A lot of people would see it as unprofessional to show that sort of favouritism. He hasn’t rejected you, other colleagues receiving presents from other colleagues who are not him is between them and nothing to do with him. If it’s otherwise a good company to work for then it seems extreme to be considering leaving over it.

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/12/2023 13:19

I managed teams for years and never once bought anyone in the team presents.

They were there to do a job and so was I, nothing more, nothing less.

If any of them expected anything as a "thank you for all their hard work", that would be their pay each month.

Allwelcone · 21/12/2023 13:19

Probably for those bosses that DO bother it's not kindness it's a tick box anyway most of the time.

UngratefulOldCabbage · 21/12/2023 13:19

I had a job where the boss had no idea who was who so miscalculated how many bottles of wine to buy. Some staff got one, some didn't. He thought me and another woman were the same person so counted us as one, and forgot the newer staff. What a mess! Better not to bother in that case!

ReJoyce · 21/12/2023 13:22

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Not sure what the lol is.... "greying old woman" as you summarise her was thought highly enough of to receive gifts.

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