Didn't get a thing for Christmas from my boss

[Miffed52]

He has cleared off now for Christmas so no time left for a last minute pressie! It's my second year working for him and last year he didn't bother either. I feel I'm being treated differently, as my predecessor (who has now retired) used to get loads from him at Christmas and throughout the year. I feel disappointed that he obviously doesn't like me or something. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel embarrassed too I've been left out. I office share with four other secretaries and their bosses have got them £50 vouchers each from various stores and I'm left out 😓. I think it might be best to get a new job.

My line manager always does something little for us. An old manager had around 12 direct reports and they would do a scratch card and a bar of choc. Cheap and cheerful but gets the appreciation across. As a little team now, we club together to get something for our boss. It's the thought behind the gift, it shows they see you as more than just a "bum on a seat". I've also had those bosses. I never felt appreciated in those roles.

I manage medium size teams. I have not bought Xmas presents for the teams for over 20 years. I think that habit died out in large corporations a long time ago

How long did the retired woman work for your boss? A decade? Two decades? Or only a couple of years like you?

Do you fancy him OP?

It sounds like you do!

I never received a present off any bosses, we would do a secret Santa with all staff and we all got a Christmas bonus. A boss buying his secretary a gift sounds extremely personal. Maybe he knows you fancy him and doesn't want to encourage you?

Perhaps he's decided to prioritise his wife or family going forward? Or maybe make a donation to charity each year instead? Either way, the patterns of the past are not the patterns of today.

My DH once had a secretary who would make not-so-subtle 'announcements' in the office about which expensive restaurant she would like to be taken to for her annual Christmas treat. It was a City firm and she was very well paid for her fairly low level of qualifications, didn't do much beyond audio-typing, never worked beyond 5.30pm and clearly thought she was owed a living on a regular basis. He did take her out for lunch once or twice but her level of entitlement rankled, frankly.

Fast forward ten years and the firm she worked for is long since insolvent, the individual secretary is pretty much a thing of the past and I imagine that she was made redundant long ago.

The only secretary to not get a gift from their boss in the office and you've jumped straight to "you obviously fancy him"???

Women can have feelings other than lust for the man she works for.

back in the day when I was a PA I used to get amazing presents at christmas, think Theatre vouchers / restaurant vouchers / I got a massive Molton Brown hamper one year when it was still pretty cool, they were paid for by the teams themselves. We also used to get a massive panettone (hate the stuff) and a £50 voucher from the company.

Fully paid for party with overnight hotels if needed as well.

I also used to do very well with the hundreds of boxes of wine and hampers that were delivered to the business.

Then the rules changed and you couldn't accept anything over £50 from clients and then the financial crash, no more presents. It's a trend that has never really come back.

I reckon the boss was fed up with the present buying habit, and he took advantage of the ladies retirement to stop doing it in the future

Yes, it’s crap that your boss is treating you differently at Christmas, especially as he used to send gifts to his previous secretary. Maybe it’s time to move on if you don’t feel appreciated?

I had a small team of around 18 staff and always bought them a bottle of wine or expensive chocs if they didn’t drink, every Christmas as an extra ‘thank you’.

I think it’s really important that a manager always acknowledges a job well done throughout the year and shows appreciation towards their staff. In return, I knew I could rely on every member of my team to go the extra mile on the odd occasion (usually due to a cock up in another dept.), as everyone felt valued individually and as part of the team.

I wouldn't expect a present from my boss as a team member but as their assistant, absolutely - it's a different type of relationship. I always got birthday and Christmas presents from my bosses when I was a PA, it was very much the norm in all the companies I worked for.

I never get anything either and it is quite hurtful.

I’m the Office Manager/Admin/accounts/HR/answerer of a million silly questions/problem solver/etc so I’m the one who sorts bonuses/gifts/Christmas do for everyone else but never get anything myself. I’m the only one who doesn’t get anything.

My boss always says he’s grateful and appreciates what I do, but it is a kick in the teeth and I do feel somewhat unappreciated.

Everyone went go-karting earlier this week - I’ve got a fucked shoulder and couldn’t do it, so stayed behind to answer phones, etc.

This year, everyone else got a monetary bonus, a box of quality street and the ££ value on top if they didn’t attend the Christmas activity.

I got big fat zero.

My boss always says he wants to get me an actual present, but ran out of time so will sort it in the new year. He’s been saying that for 4 years now.

Of course I’m not entitled to anything and it’s fine. It is what it is. It has eventually pissed me off enough that I plan to look for a new job in the new year. It’s kind of the straw that finally broke the treated like shit camel’s back.

Calling your predecessor a 'greying old woman, lol' could be a clue as to why you didn't get a gift from him.

I manage a team of 8 and they all came in to a bottle of their favourite tipple and a (tiny) box of chocs this morning, in past years I may have bought more or had a smaller team. Money is tighter this year for me the same as everyone but I think its very important to show my appreciation for their hard work all year from me personally. We also done secret Santa as a team. This is my 2nd year under my new boss (director) and 2nd year I've received nothing, previous boss used to give me a box of 6 bottles of my favourite wine! Even if I got 1 bottle from the new boss I'd appreciate his acknowledgement of my hard work.

13 years.

He's cocky and arrogant.

Then the other secretaries must fancy their bosses then too! We're all youngish.

This is a really sad and juvenile take. Nothing the op has written sounds like that.

I think the fact others get gifts from theirs makes it unfair, but not the bosses fault more that there should be a company wide policy/gifts surely. I wouldn't expect a manager to get me a Christmas present, but since working in an office seems tradition where I am that management pay for coffee and breakfast in the last week which is surprisingly nice.

Haven't you? It's fairly standard.

I work for King Charles....I've not had a thing !

Wot no 'Duchy Originals' Christmas pud? The stingy so-and-so! 😃

I've worked for my boss for five years. The first year he gave me a very nice bottle of Champagne. The second year some Chanel perfume. Then nothing. Not even a thank you. No idea why but he has been very complimentary about my work throughout the year.

No one fancies anyone 😂

I work with two people as an EA. One has got me a nice sum in vouchers which I am grateful for, though I don’t like shopping or really go to that place. The message he put was lovely and made me feel very valued. The other that I work with hasn’t but our relationship is very equal and he has my back in terms
of what I want or need from my role and future which I value greatly.

I don’t expect anything from either them, they are both really decent and they make working with them really enjoyable and that more important to me.

i feel like I am reading a different post to others!!

there’s no entitlement to presents or cards from your boss or work at Christmas. It’s nice, but not mandatory. So your boss isn’t immediately in the wrong with this…

secondly, you don’t know what relationship the boss had with your predecessor. He might have a closer, more personal rapport with the previous person in post, whereas you’re still building rapport with him. It could be an overstep for him to slather you in gifts. You’re making the assumption it is the default for him to give gifts and you are the unusual exception, whereas in reality his default might be no gifts aside from the one unusual exception (who may be your predecessor).

thirdly, the other secretaries got gifts from their line managers, not your line manager, so you haven’t been left out. What other managers do with their teams isn’t your boss’s fault.

however it’s a slippery slope for everyone once colleagues start comparing gifts, it’s the same as staff complaining their own birthdays weren’t acknowledged but someone else’s one was. so I think it’s always fairer if HR or one person arranged gifts and ensured everyone got the same for consistency and prevent hurt feelings

If you tell your friends at work, it'll feed back to their bosses, who might have an idea why he doesn't do it.