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Original poster

Didn't get a thing for Christmas from my boss

141 replies

Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 12:42

He has cleared off now for Christmas so no time left for a last minute pressie! It's my second year working for him and last year he didn't bother either. I feel I'm being treated differently, as my predecessor (who has now retired) used to get loads from him at Christmas and throughout the year. I feel disappointed that he obviously doesn't like me or something. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel embarrassed too I've been left out. I office share with four other secretaries and their bosses have got them £50 vouchers each from various stores and I'm left out 😓. I think it might be best to get a new job.

OP posts:
sweatband · 27/12/2023 13:45

Such a stealth boast, Hermes scarf lol

The point is, she knows it's not policy as the other 4 assistants (her peers) are getting gifts under her nose, face it OP, your boss doesn't value you and whatever reason he gives for that, I'd be moving on sooner rather than later

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 13:48

BusyMummyWrites · 27/12/2023 12:40

What matters is what the corporate policy states. My husband’s company now expressly prohibits gifts from individuals - it can be perceived as conferring favouritism that brings appraisal feedback and recommendations for promotions/benefits under scrutiny. Under current employment law, managers should not be asking staff to do tasks that deviate from their employment contract (work outside contracted hours or personal work) and then personally compensate them for doing so. It puts both parties at risk.

My DH cannot even invite them to accompany him to a, official corporate entertainment event without first applying to HR who monitors that such perks are equally shared amongst staff. In fact, it is so difficult to just ‘offer’ spare Wimbledon tickets or footie tickets he’s been given by clients to staff that he thinks would appreciate/deserve them, that he tends to raffle them and have HR manage the process.

And re tax - depends upon the value of the gift. I used to be given Hermes scarves and designer handbags from my bosses, given in the workplace, all worth well over £50. Only found out later that I should have declared them as, regardless of them being a ‘thank you’ for personal jobs I’d done, they are still viewed as a form of remuneration for services given (hubs is a tax specialist).

So, the point I am making is that depending upon corporate policy, the nature of the work carried out at OP’s company and the background of her manager (eg. is he a lawyer?) he may have very valid reasons for not gifting people who work for him. It’s nothing personal. She should in stead be looking to whether he supports her in appraisals etc.

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My comment is entirely accurate. I’m not sure why you added all of that.

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 13:49

sweatband · 27/12/2023 13:45

Such a stealth boast, Hermes scarf lol

The point is, she knows it's not policy as the other 4 assistants (her peers) are getting gifts under her nose, face it OP, your boss doesn't value you and whatever reason he gives for that, I'd be moving on sooner rather than later

It’s brilliant isn’t it 😂

BusyMummyWrites · 27/12/2023 13:52

sweatband · 27/12/2023 13:45

Such a stealth boast, Hermes scarf lol

The point is, she knows it's not policy as the other 4 assistants (her peers) are getting gifts under her nose, face it OP, your boss doesn't value you and whatever reason he gives for that, I'd be moving on sooner rather than later

Eff off - it was 20 years ago before years spent knee deep in mud with brownies and cleaning up pee covered beaver scouts. Reveals more about your snotty attitudes that the fact I once had bosses that crapped on you from a great height all year and then thought they could buy you off with a supposedly posh gift (the Hermes scarves were all passed on to my 80 year old grandmother who wore them to church bake sales utterly oblivious to how much my tosser bosses had spent.) get over yourselves.

Victoria3010 · 27/12/2023 13:55

I think the pa and secretary type roles normally should get excellent presents - often in the hundreds if they worked for someone very senior/well off. Is it possible that the old secretary used to prompt him or even buy it all herself? My bosses last pa used to just add it to his to do list, then he'd hand over his credit card and say "max £200". He put zero thought into it but knew it needed doing and wanted her to get something she liked. I wouldn't leave a job over it, if everything else is great then just ignore it. If you feel you haven't gelled in other ways its probably a good indicator you're right. I think if everything else is good it's probably the case that he is used to someone prompting him (the old secretary, or maybe his wife knew the old ones name and prompted). It's very sexist and old fashioned but normally older men in these roles are so used to other people organising their lives they might not even think about it.

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 14:16

BusyMummyWrites · 27/12/2023 13:52

Eff off - it was 20 years ago before years spent knee deep in mud with brownies and cleaning up pee covered beaver scouts. Reveals more about your snotty attitudes that the fact I once had bosses that crapped on you from a great height all year and then thought they could buy you off with a supposedly posh gift (the Hermes scarves were all passed on to my 80 year old grandmother who wore them to church bake sales utterly oblivious to how much my tosser bosses had spent.) get over yourselves.

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Oh dear. You’re digging a hole here.

gocompare · 27/12/2023 15:15

My boss doesn't buy me. I do buy for him. I've always bought him a bottle of spirits because he is lovely to work for all year.

Caughtatacrossroads · 27/12/2023 18:47

I’m just picturing the lead balloon moment in your future interview when they ask why you are leaving your current job. From the language and tone of your posts , you are coming across as unprofessional and immature. Yes a little appreciation would have been nice from your Boss , but if your attitude in work comes across in the same way as these posts; then there lies the answer of why he may not have wished to spend his own money on you.

PurplePeacock · 27/12/2023 20:23

I never even got a card from mine yet he took his other direct reports to Michelin star restaurants and gave them bottles of whisky as a thank you. He was a misogynist idiot and was sacked earlier this year 😏 My new boss is brilliant and sent me a huge expensive hamper. I was overwhelmed with it and then realised everyone else has been getting this all along and it was wrong for me to not be getting anything. I sympathise with you as I’ve been there, but I would say if he’s a good boss, don’t move just because of the gift.

stichguru · 27/12/2023 21:12

"I office share with four other secretaries and their bosses have got them £50 vouchers each from various stores and I'm left out 😓. I think it might be best to get a new job."

If it's some kind of company company policy that the boss's get their secretaries a present, then yes you have been left out and that's awful. If it is that those other bosses chose to get people who have worked for them a long time a present, and your boss doesn't know you as well yet and maybe isn't in the same financial situation as the others, then your boss has good reasons for making different choices.

SocksMcR · 29/12/2023 02:04

If you get on well with the other... I'm guessing PAs? ... I'd confide in them that you are worried that you did something wrong. They'll tell their bosses, their bosses will give him a slap. See what happens next year.

If he's otherwise good to work for, I really wouldn't take it personally. I mean, I would but I know I'd not be doing myself any favours 😅😂

Faultymain5 · 29/12/2023 23:16

WashItTomorrow · 21/12/2023 12:59

I’ve never heard of anyone getting a Christmas present from their boss!

That is so sad.

Original poster
Miffed52 · 04/01/2024 22:52

Nope he didn't. He just doesn't like me. He even got a temp a box of chocs in the summer 🤷

OP posts:
Original poster
Miffed52 · 04/01/2024 23:10

I appreciate all your comments btw. They're so interesting and helpful, but I am actively looking for a new job this year. I've had enough. In one way it's confirmed I need to move on. I'm bored with my job too. Like I said earlier, my boss gave a temp in the summer a box of chocolates. I've never experienced this in any other jobs, so maybe he simply doesn't like me and life's too short to be a*sed with that. I have my pride. Thanks again all xxx 🙏

OP posts:
SocksMcR · 08/01/2024 22:09

Oh in that case scrap my previous comment. You're absolutely right to leave. What an idiot he is.

Rinkytinkpanther · 16/04/2025 17:28

i know this is an old thread but in the private sector gifts for admin staff is the norm. The big London firms were really generous. I’ve worked for the NHS for ten years now and never had a present or card at Xmas 😟

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