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Original poster

Didn't get a thing for Christmas from my boss

141 replies

Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 12:42

He has cleared off now for Christmas so no time left for a last minute pressie! It's my second year working for him and last year he didn't bother either. I feel I'm being treated differently, as my predecessor (who has now retired) used to get loads from him at Christmas and throughout the year. I feel disappointed that he obviously doesn't like me or something. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel embarrassed too I've been left out. I office share with four other secretaries and their bosses have got them £50 vouchers each from various stores and I'm left out 😓. I think it might be best to get a new job.

OP posts:
StarlightLime · 21/12/2023 19:36

MILTOBE · 21/12/2023 19:34

If you tell your friends at work, it'll feed back to their bosses, who might have an idea why he doesn't do it.

They really aren't going to tell their bosses that op didn't get a present 😂

JoanOgden · 21/12/2023 19:43

I can see why that's a bit painful in the circs, OP. I suspect your boss is just, to use the technical term, a bit crap.

(Interesting to see the range of answers here. I work in the public sector and get my team a Lindt chocolate santa or similar each as a token present.)

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 21/12/2023 20:08

AuntieDolly · 21/12/2023 12:59

Perhaps he took the retirement as an opportunity to stop buying. I would appreciate a gift, but wouldn't expect it

This. Why on earth does anyone expect a Christmas present from their boss?

As for considering finding a new job because there is no gift - there are no words.......

Original poster
Miffed52 · 22/12/2023 07:39

Yes, it's the push I need to get out. Oh and btw, I never rely on "We'll do something in the New Year", as it never happens!

OP posts:
Original poster
Miffed52 · 22/12/2023 07:41

Gosh, not that old chestnut 🥱

OP posts:
Original poster
Miffed52 · 23/12/2023 22:47

I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all for your valued opinions. I'm going to look for a new job in the New Year 🎊, however.

OP posts:
Hello39 · 23/12/2023 22:54

Bosses, take note to the OP's update! A little bit of appreciation goes a long way.

My first job we got actual presents (jewellery, smellies) and an envelope of cash (it was taxed through payroll but we got the cash). That felt so nice.

Jobs since then have been vouchers from the company. Always appreciated.
Some gave a bottle of wine/biscuits. I wouldn't expect anything personal (but if everyone else got something and I got nothing, that would not be good)

Good luck with the job hunt, OP.

hilariousnamehere · 23/12/2023 23:05

Have you checked with the other secretaries that the bosses definitely bought the vouchers? I only ask because in my short time as a PA to a CEO, it was fully expected that I would organise presents for the other directors from him, hampers for the team at Xmas from him, and my own Xmas gift/hamper from him - his logic was that was why he had a PA, so he didn't have to do that stuff.

I left after a couple of years for different reasons, but it could be that the other secretaries have organised their own gifts and you could do it too - I know it's not the same but worth checking?

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 23/12/2023 23:11

It wouldn’t have killed the boss to get a £5 bottle of plonk for op. I certainly wouldn’t be going out of my way to do extra hours and bits for the boss. They can bog off.
I got various gifts from my various bosses this Christmas. Only small things like chocolates and wine, but was met by lovely words of appreciation too when handed the gifts. No one buggered off on holiday without a word.

AzureBlue99 · 23/12/2023 23:13

My boss went off on leave and didn't even say Happy Christmas. Never does. He is a fucker.

Rinkytinkpanther · 24/12/2023 02:37

It's all different now - ten years ago in a London legal firm Christmas was lavish, team building drinks out, bonuses and guaranteed presents from your boss. One colleague got a Louis Vuitton bag! Now I work for the NHS it's Christmas lunch in the canteen which we pay for ourselves and no one gives any present! It really doesn't bother me anymore!

Muchof · 24/12/2023 05:21

Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 13:09

I think it's because I feel left out and I'm offended more than anything else. We just joke around together when I see him a little, which we don't see often our bosses, but that's about it......I just feel rejected.

I have always worked in multinationals and have been friendly with some PAs and yes they would usually get a Christmas present from the person they were supporting. But it was usually a very close working relationship, it sounds like you barely see this person who you think should have bought you a present? Or am I misreading?

alwaystroubleonmn · 24/12/2023 10:22

I used to have to get Dh's EA a bottle of champagne in the weekly ocado shop...it's not appreciation that made dh bring it in - it was the expectation, another thing on the to do list. Not that he isn't grateful but that wasn't the reasoning - just saying, don't overthink the emotions. Did your boss get divorced?

GeneCity · 24/12/2023 13:45

Gosh, are you really going to look for a new job because you didn't get a £50 voucher?

I'm all for people moving jobs for lots of reasons, but this one doesn't really figure.

DaftyInTheMiddle · 24/12/2023 14:05

The year my boss (I was his PA and the team admin) pulled me out of a team Christmas event, asked me to Tesco to get lots of chocolates, bottles of Prosecco etc for gifts and I didn’t get a single thing, was the year I knew I needed to leave.

DaftyInTheMiddle · 24/12/2023 14:06

GeneCity · 24/12/2023 13:45

Gosh, are you really going to look for a new job because you didn't get a £50 voucher?

I'm all for people moving jobs for lots of reasons, but this one doesn't really figure.

It’s not about a monetary value, it’s about being valued.

GeneCity · 24/12/2023 17:02

Yes, I know that really - maybe some additional background info wasn't included.

MrsSparkington · 25/12/2023 00:41

I think it's really bad, OP, and would feel upset too.

In the company I work for, this year the team I am in weren't even allowed to attend the xmas party, as it was held during work hours and our team manager wasn't prepared to allow us to have that time 'off'. I work in sales so maybe the manager didn't want to miss those 3 or 4 hours of income generated for the company by us all. We had done really well as a team all year and exceeded our targets by a vast amount, so I know it's not because we've under performed.

There have also been Xmas bonuses in previous years but this year our team did not get one. No idea about the other teams and departments though.

CrapBucket · 25/12/2023 00:50

My boss didn’t give me a Christmas present, but I know he appreciates me because he is always open with praise/feedback/encouragement. I have previously had a shocking back stabbing boss who gave me wine at Christmas- it didn’t make up for it. It is not about a present it’s about feeling valued.

Changingmynameyetagain · 25/12/2023 00:59

I didn’t get anything from my boss either, he’s a lovely bloke and we get on very well but he’s clueless. He’s also Muslim and I just don’t think it occurs to him to gift anything at Christmas as he doesn’t celebrate it.
The company itself gifts us an extra paid day’s holiday as our bonus and we have a Christmas party that they pay for, usually at a local fancy hotel.

gemma19846 · 26/12/2023 18:25

You get paid dont you? To leave a job because you didnt get a xmas present is ridiculous (and childish).

Mememe9898 · 26/12/2023 20:25

gemma19846 · 26/12/2023 18:25

You get paid dont you? To leave a job because you didnt get a xmas present is ridiculous (and childish).

Sounds like there’s a lot more behind that. It’s prob the one thing that tipped her over the edge. I’ve rarely had a Xmas present from my bosses in the over 20 years of my working life. If I do it would be a bottle of champagne - I don’t drink alcohol - and it’s something that the company sells too so they buy it cost price 😂
Mind you when I worked at a private hospital in marketing the PAs used to get expensive gifts but I never got that.
Normally it should be the company giving you a bit extra not your boss.
I manage a team and didn’t get anyone a gift. I don’t get paid enough to take it out of my own money haha

rwalker · 26/12/2023 20:34

It’s embarrassing to expect a present
they pay you every month for what you do
its not like you are doing them a favour

probably didn’t want to buy your predecessor a gift but it’d of gone in for that long it would of been awkward to stop . So took the opportunity to break the Habit when you started

just a heads up if you do leave over this when you apply for a new job if they ask you why you’re leaving your old job don’t tell them it’s because you didn’t get a Christmas present

ElaineMBenes · 26/12/2023 20:51

Please tell me you're not looking for a new job because your boss didn't get you a present?
You know most people don't get presents from their boss right?

I get on really, really well with my boss and he didn't get me anything. Not that I expected him to..... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Porridgeinblankies · 26/12/2023 21:01

JoanOgden · 21/12/2023 19:43

I can see why that's a bit painful in the circs, OP. I suspect your boss is just, to use the technical term, a bit crap.

(Interesting to see the range of answers here. I work in the public sector and get my team a Lindt chocolate santa or similar each as a token present.)

@ElaineMBenes
IMO a PA/EA is a bit different as they their entire job is to manage the work life (and sometimes a bit of personal stuff too) of their direct boss. In that regard a gift is an unspoken courtesy.

However in my large org nobody except for the C-suite and people below have PA's anymore, they're all shared so none of them would expect a gift.