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Original poster

Didn't get a thing for Christmas from my boss

141 replies

Miffed52 · 21/12/2023 12:42

He has cleared off now for Christmas so no time left for a last minute pressie! It's my second year working for him and last year he didn't bother either. I feel I'm being treated differently, as my predecessor (who has now retired) used to get loads from him at Christmas and throughout the year. I feel disappointed that he obviously doesn't like me or something. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel embarrassed too I've been left out. I office share with four other secretaries and their bosses have got them £50 vouchers each from various stores and I'm left out 😓. I think it might be best to get a new job.

OP posts:
dishyrishi · 26/12/2023 21:10

I do your job, my boss always get me a gift, unless you've done the job, you wouldn't understand, it's fairly standard as a PA to get a gift, and I hate it but gratefully accept. I've worked for people who haven't bothered, and given the nature of our job it's made me think less of them/want to go less out of my way to assist them with their personal requests

ElaineMBenes · 26/12/2023 21:20

@Porridgeinblankies I know what a PA does 🙄

Imo If you're treated well and with respect all year round then leaving just because you don't get a Christmas present is ridiculous.

UsingChangeofName · 26/12/2023 21:33

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/12/2023 13:18

Unless you do a very personal job for an individual i.e. are one of a tiny handful of employees of the small company they own or work as a member of their private household or family office, I don’t really think it’s reasonable to expect a present - otherwise how do they justify not giving presents to all their other colleagues as well? A lot of people would see it as unprofessional to show that sort of favouritism. He hasn’t rejected you, other colleagues receiving presents from other colleagues who are not him is between them and nothing to do with him. If it’s otherwise a good company to work for then it seems extreme to be considering leaving over it.

This.

Honestly OP, this has to be the most bizarre reason I've ever heard for looking for a new job Confused

Oganesson118 · 26/12/2023 22:21

My last but one boss always bought me a present - I thought it was lovely of him but I've never expected it of anyone and haven't taken it personally not to get anything from current or past one (though admittedly I've only been with current one for about a month also)

alwaystroubleonmn · 26/12/2023 22:35

dishyrishi · 26/12/2023 21:10

I do your job, my boss always get me a gift, unless you've done the job, you wouldn't understand, it's fairly standard as a PA to get a gift, and I hate it but gratefully accept. I've worked for people who haven't bothered, and given the nature of our job it's made me think less of them/want to go less out of my way to assist them with their personal requests

It’s interesting for the first year ever due to Covid restrictions and vet small team, we gave our PA her gift alongside the other members of the team - for the first year, she didn’t gift us back - I wonder whether she felt previously had thought we had singled her out for a gift - she got what everyone got every year - did she feel she should be getting more than the other team members?

BeckiBoBecki · 26/12/2023 23:28

Did you get him/her a gift?

BeckiBoBecki · 26/12/2023 23:29

Absolutley.

Guttedme · 26/12/2023 23:41

The most memorable present I had is from a boss who died young.
Appreciate it it hard to be sat on a room where everyone else is acknowledged so want to share the spirit of this year’s boss present

Didn't get a thing for Christmas from my boss
Brird · 27/12/2023 08:06

As a PA it's normal to get a gift, you don't really give one back to your manager in return (though I have done sometimes).

It's an acknowledgement of the personal things you do for them that aren't necessarily part of the role. I do think a bit less of them if I don't get a gift, though look at the bigger picture of how they are as a manager as to how I feel about it.

Honestly, if you've spent the year ringing me at midnight to find you a hotel, I've sewed a strap back on your shoe, minded your kids, saved your arse by correcting your emails before they go out, listened and advised for hours on end while you mull over office problems, as well as all the normal office stuff, the least you can do is buy me a candle or chocolates once a year.

Topseyt123 · 27/12/2023 08:14

I never had any Christmas presents from any of my bosses. It never occurred to me that I should be expecting any. I got them none either. It wasn't necessary.

Schneekugel · 27/12/2023 08:14

You haven't been left out though, he didn't buy the other's presents, their own bosses did. Maybe he hates the tradition and the predecessor leaving was the perfect opportunity to end it. Find a new job if he's awful to work for or if you want to, but if all else is fine and it's just that he doesn't do presents I'd get over yourself and stop taking it personally. At the end of the day it really shouldn't matter to any sane, emotionally balanced person.

Spookymormonhelldream · 27/12/2023 08:19

Maybe you're just not that good at your job, hence no present?

sweatband · 27/12/2023 09:00

Brird · 27/12/2023 08:06

As a PA it's normal to get a gift, you don't really give one back to your manager in return (though I have done sometimes).

It's an acknowledgement of the personal things you do for them that aren't necessarily part of the role. I do think a bit less of them if I don't get a gift, though look at the bigger picture of how they are as a manager as to how I feel about it.

Honestly, if you've spent the year ringing me at midnight to find you a hotel, I've sewed a strap back on your shoe, minded your kids, saved your arse by correcting your emails before they go out, listened and advised for hours on end while you mull over office problems, as well as all the normal office stuff, the least you can do is buy me a candle or chocolates once a year.

This is if, and unless you've done the job, you'd not understand

drowningintinsel · 27/12/2023 09:08

I didn't either. But I work in a school
So not sure if it's normal for heads not too?

sweatband · 27/12/2023 09:11

drowningintinsel · 27/12/2023 09:08

I didn't either. But I work in a school
So not sure if it's normal for heads not too?

I'm talking a PA to a HNW individual or an executive, when you put in the hours, hours often not paid for, and do all manner of tasks not on the job description, most personal, a small gesture of thanks is not a lot to ask

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 09:27

WashItTomorrow · 21/12/2023 12:59

I’ve never heard of anyone getting a Christmas present from their boss!

I’ve never heard of anyone not!

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 09:28

Teeshirt · 21/12/2023 13:01

Did you get him a present? I have to say, present-giving like that would be frowned upon at my workplace. We’re not allowed to accept gifts, in any case.

your company has banned colleagues buying eachother gifts? Why?

dastidlydaschel · 27/12/2023 09:32

Both DH and I work in public sector, DH is head of a department of 20 people, I run a team of 6 people. Obviously staff presents come out of our own money. DH got all of his team a Lindt reindeer, I got my team a box of posh chocolates each. It doesn't look much but it's a token of appreciation and it cost us £120, which is a lot of money to us.

Basically I think expecting anything more than a token when it's bought out of the bosses own purse is wrong. And even that should be expected.

BusyMummyWrites · 27/12/2023 09:33

A gift is precisely that - a gift, not an obligation. My husband doesn’t buy gifts for his staff either (though he has hundreds of reportees, so where would he start) and as it can be interpreted as favouritism/form of bribery it is actually frowned upon by his company, not least as it is technically a taxable benefit. The company funds a Christmas lunch and bonuses are provided via annual performance reviews. A bit crap for those of us who remember days of personal gifts, but aside from a whole department whip-round for a pregnancy etc or a secret Santa, those days are gone.

dastidlydaschel · 27/12/2023 09:33

Shouldn't be expected - damn auto correct!

WashItTomorrow · 27/12/2023 09:41

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 09:28

your company has banned colleagues buying eachother gifts? Why?

Show quote history

.

HeraSyndulla · 27/12/2023 09:42

I've never had a pressie, ever.

Teeshirt · 27/12/2023 09:44

AnneValentine · 27/12/2023 09:28

your company has banned colleagues buying eachother gifts? Why?

Show quote history

We have strict rules on bribery and anti corruption. It’s taken very seriously. Maybe it’s to do with that. I’ve never had a gift in 30 years of working.

sweatband · 27/12/2023 09:47

dastidlydaschel · 27/12/2023 09:32

Both DH and I work in public sector, DH is head of a department of 20 people, I run a team of 6 people. Obviously staff presents come out of our own money. DH got all of his team a Lindt reindeer, I got my team a box of posh chocolates each. It doesn't look much but it's a token of appreciation and it cost us £120, which is a lot of money to us.

Basically I think expecting anything more than a token when it's bought out of the bosses own purse is wrong. And even that should be expected.

This is different though, she's working in a 1:1 capacity, servant and master style, it's very different to running a department or team

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 09:52

Brird · 27/12/2023 08:06

As a PA it's normal to get a gift, you don't really give one back to your manager in return (though I have done sometimes).

It's an acknowledgement of the personal things you do for them that aren't necessarily part of the role. I do think a bit less of them if I don't get a gift, though look at the bigger picture of how they are as a manager as to how I feel about it.

Honestly, if you've spent the year ringing me at midnight to find you a hotel, I've sewed a strap back on your shoe, minded your kids, saved your arse by correcting your emails before they go out, listened and advised for hours on end while you mull over office problems, as well as all the normal office stuff, the least you can do is buy me a candle or chocolates once a year.

Not all PA/EA roles involve tasks like this.
In many sectors PAs only undertake tasks that are related to supporting their boss other job and asking them to do personal tasks or work outside their standard hours would be frowned upon.