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Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 28/04/2023 18:30

@Gem2x87

Looking after a new baby is a full time job. Working for pay 35 hours a week is also a full time job.

It's hard to take this thread seriously - you cannot do two jobs at once, especially when one of those jobs is erratic in terms of needs, hours & availability. 😁

For the 2 days you WFH, you can either work or take care of your baby. Not both. You cannot assume an employer would be happy for you to graciously pick up your hours as and when you can.

RoseslnTheHospital · 28/04/2023 18:31

It depends on your job. If you're expected to respond to issues/needs/requests/communications then it could be problematic which is why a lot of companies will have usual business hours specified in your contract. Maybe that's not an issue for you?

If your partner can take the baby for a decent chunk of time in the afternoons/evening every day then you might be able to so 2 or 3 hours a day, and then do more at weekends to make up your 14 hours not in the office. But you'll be exhausted and have no down time on your own or with your partner and baby.

ShinyShinyShinyBootsOfLeather · 28/04/2023 18:32

I've known people to do this, but it isn't pleasant.

I'd maybe get a nanny to come on the days you're WFH so you can see your baby but still be able to work. Maybe not even the full day. You could get a nanny to do five or six hours maybe and then tag team a bit with your oh and the nanny and you.

My DH has been WFH during all the school strike days with our dcs. Not really any other option for us. They aren't babies but they're still quite little. It's been shit for them. They've had nothing to do and DH has had to take them out to the park during his lunch break etc. I would never do it by choice

Macaroni46 · 28/04/2023 18:34

Makes a mockery of WFH. No wonder so many companies are asking employees to return to the office.

Namechanger355 · 28/04/2023 18:34

Not sure where you will find the spare 35 hours from - looking after a 3 month old is more than a full time job in itself

you would be lucky to get 1 hour or so to yourself whilst they nap

today emptying and loading the dishwasher with my 4 month baby

and this is my second and I’m otherwise a working mum

your time won’t be yours when you have the baby so you won’t be able to commit to what you are intending

Namechanger355 · 28/04/2023 18:35

I mean loading the dishwasher was an achievement as my baby didn’t let me put her down at all

cestlavielife · 28/04/2023 18:35

Wfh just means you can use two hours less hours of local childcare as you closer for pick up and. Drop off
You cannot work and care for baby
If is your ownn business do as you like
If you an employee then no

sylvandweller · 28/04/2023 18:36

You're barely even separate people at three months

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:37

Maybe it's how I worded it and eaten up for me implies there is no time whatsoever at the weekend/evening. If I could get 5 of the 7 done within the day 4 across the whole week to fill up is not a lot. Is it ?

OP posts:
stepMummY1 · 28/04/2023 18:39

This kind of attitude is also why women can get a bad name in business.

whereaw · 28/04/2023 18:40

I do about 50 hours work a week with 3 days childcare... it can be doable but it's hard! It involves very early mornings and late nights. It depends what you're doing obviously. I don't have meetings often and work in my own time.
It's not the sort of thing most jobs can work for. I got used to it with my first as I was doing my doctorate and to finish involved getting up at 3am regularly. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it! You're not really your 'best' you or mum as you're so tired. Personally I don't need a huge amount of sleep but I wouldn't ever want to go back to 3am starts that's for sure!! But it was needs must at the time.
I have never been able to do anything beyond work/ parenting as there is no time. I'm trying to get better balance but really don't want to use childcare 5 days a week, for personal reasons.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 28/04/2023 18:40

Can you use holiday @Gem2x87?

If you save your holiday pre-baby & the holiday year falls ok you might have 20 days to use when the baby arrives. You could use that to cover 1 day a week until the baby is 1?

Then give the wfh idea a go and if it's a disaster you've only got 1 day of work to catch up at the weekend.

Cheetahmum · 28/04/2023 18:43

Problem with babies this young is they're often not just down for bed at 7 and sleeping well. You won't have evenings to yourself to make up hours either and you'll be shattered if you're not sleeping so will want to go to bed when baby does

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:44

21 of those 28 would be without a baby and I was trying to find out how many of the remaining 14 could be hence the question. I think you're getting onto a different question though about presenteeism which isn't really relevant.

OP posts:
Jolenetookmyman · 28/04/2023 18:45

I'll go against the grain and say that I kind of did this and it worked for me.

I worked for a very small family business and the owner had a baby at the same time (who didnt want to use childcare) and was happy for me to bring me baby in to work too (they'd rather me be at work than at home). I had a very chilled out baby that was happy to sit in a bumbo on my desk or high chair or sleep/ play in the travel cot whilst I worked.

So the caveat is that it depends on the company and helps with a chilled out baby. If I had a high needs baby and an uptight company it could have been very different.

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:45

That's a pretty smart idea. I hadn't even thought about that.

OP posts:
heldinadream · 28/04/2023 18:46

@Gem2x87 look. The reason people are giving the responses they are giving is because they know, they know they know, and they know you don't know yet.
You might have a really easy baby, who lets you go pee, make lunch, and put the washing in. You might even have one sooooo chilled you get to hang the washing out, too, before it's laid around for six hours and started to fester and smell and need washing again. You'll feel like you're winning if you can do any of those things without interruption.
There just is hardly a universe in which, hardly a baby with which actually working a job while the baby is in the same building and you are responsible for it, is possible. And every single poster knows that with the bones of their experience, and they know that you don't know that yet.

Come back a couple of months after baby's born and give us an update.
If you're dressed that is, and can manage to eat half a meal without someone else's help.
Huge congratulations. Nobody here wishes you anything other than well. It's just that we've all been you, and now we're not, and it's just cringy thinking how innocent you are. Best of luck, really.

whereaw · 28/04/2023 18:47

@Gem2x87 personally I think it's possible, if you want it to be! For instance, I am a morning person and can do twice as much early in the morning than I can in the middle of the day. But it involves being flexible- some nights are a right off if the baby won't sleep, for example

whereaw · 28/04/2023 18:48
  • write off Hmm
Scottishskifun · 28/04/2023 18:50

Honestly it's not really possible at all. At 3 months you might be lucky and they might have good naps or you might get one like mine who power napped for maximum 30 mins at a time and took 30 mins of walking before doing so.

I think many people respond the way they do because many of us had to struggle through covid times doing it and it was hell. You are highly likely to break yourself being up with a baby trying to fit work hours in etc.

Can you and your partner really tighten belts and save so you can be off a bit longer then do childcare? It can be very tricky finding nursery places for a baby so young most nurseries have a 6 month minimum.

WedDaytime · 28/04/2023 18:51

Even if you had a baby who would sit in the bumbo for hours a day, is that really what you want? I wonder if eventually they would get used to the fact that mummy is working and cant be distracted

PickledPurplePickle · 28/04/2023 18:51

WFH does not mean looking after your children while working - this is likely covered in your handbook

Your employer is paying you to work not look after your children

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 28/04/2023 18:58

DD had reflux which lessened about 6/7 months but was still present until about 9/10 months. For that first 6 months feeding would be a bottle, then holding her upright and winding her for 20-30 minutes. At some point there would be a projectile vomiting incident. It was worse in the evenings and we spent 6-12pm just feeding, getting thrown up on, pacing with her and taking it in turns to put a dry top on. There would be no option to do work in an evening.

At 3 months DD was still contact napping so she would have quite long naps but only on me. I wouldn’t have been able to type or read a screen. Well not without wrecking my back. At 4 months she started to nap in the cot but she would have very small naps, about 20-30 minutes. It took us about a month to get to longer naps. Those 20-30 minutes I did get were usually spent putting laundry on, making sure bottles were washed and ready, having something to eat and drink or having a shower. At 5 months the naps become longer and more routine but she also became more mobile and curious of her surroundings. Everything was being picked up and put in her mouth. You couldn’t leave her someone because she’d roll away. At 6 months we started weaning and there is so much cleaning up after each meal but you’re still doing milk feeds. DD also started crawling at 6 months. Then they just get more mobile, more inquisitive and more likely to find them doing something that will hurt them. DD started going down in an evening about 4 months old but she didn’t start sleeping through the night (most nights) until about 10 months. So you won’t be able to catch up in an evening, you’ll be catching up at weekend. You think you’ll feel like you’re missing out during the week because family will have baby and being doing stuff but how are you going to feel when your husband is out doing stuff with baby all weekend?

I think doing this, even if your work allow it, is going to cause such an imbalance in your relationship. You will be working full time, like your husband but doing two days childcare and making up your hours at some point. You’re going to feel like you’re doing the bulk of it within a few weeks and that’ll lead to a lot of arguments.

What is helpful about working from home and having baby in nursery is that you have a shorter commute so you can do housework during your commute time and it doesn’t take away from weekends or bedtime. You can come home from dropping off at nursery and put your house back together before starting work rather than trying to do it before leaving for work with a baby/toddler or leaving it until you come home. When you have a toddler you can give them breakfast, drop them at nursery and come home to have your breakfast in peace and without someone trying to steal it. It’s handy when they pick up yet another bug at nursery and you can be flexible for that day or couple of days but then they go back to nursery and you can actually focus again. It’s great when you don’t have to get stuck in traffic going to work because your toddler took 10 minutes longer than they should have done to walk to nursery because they were looking at a cat or a leaf.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 28/04/2023 19:00

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:27

Yeah but if you're working 28 hours of your 35 within core hours then I'm not really sure why your company should have an issue with it

That depends on your job, and only you know that.

I could easily do what you suggest and find plenty of work in non core time but I am required to be available during business hours in case colleagues/clients need to talk to me. Your job might not be the same

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/04/2023 19:08

Scottishskifun · 28/04/2023 18:50

Honestly it's not really possible at all. At 3 months you might be lucky and they might have good naps or you might get one like mine who power napped for maximum 30 mins at a time and took 30 mins of walking before doing so.

I think many people respond the way they do because many of us had to struggle through covid times doing it and it was hell. You are highly likely to break yourself being up with a baby trying to fit work hours in etc.

Can you and your partner really tighten belts and save so you can be off a bit longer then do childcare? It can be very tricky finding nursery places for a baby so young most nurseries have a 6 month minimum.

That must depend on the area. I only came across one nursery from 6 months, the others were all 12 weeks and a few were even 6 weeks.

Mine started at 12 weeks.

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