Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
Can2022getanyworse · 28/04/2023 18:05

Oh love,

Even if you go on mat leave the day you give birth, I didn't know which way was up at 3 months old, never mind holding down a full time job AND trying to work from home around looking after a baby.

With the best will in the world op, I think you are being incredibly naive, you are very likely looking at still very broken nights at this age, BF (if you so choose, or expressing, or ff) on demand still, irregular and unpredictable napping at best, you won't be able to do '2 hours here and there' - even one hour at a time is going to mean a VERY long day with breaking off every hour to see to baby.

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:06

I wasn't looking for people to agree with me. I was looking for people to respond without saying 'lol' 'you're anti feminist' and ' you're trying to cheat your company'

OP posts:
mosiacmaker · 28/04/2023 18:07

Going against the grain here but I have a job I am highly skilled at at can definitely get all my work done in three days if I tried hard and then just be generally available for the last two days. I wouldn’t tell my work anything about childcare arrangements though, I would just organise my projects and meetings to be in the three office days. Depends on the nature of your work really!

ZoChan · 28/04/2023 18:08

mynameiscalypso · 28/04/2023 16:35

I also think it's really important that childcare (in the broadest terms) is seen as a job. It's why we should make sure childcare workers get paid more than minimum wage and we should respect the job that anyone who looks after a small child does (because it's a bit shit at times). The view that you can work and look after a baby at the same time does them no favours by reducing the importance of their work.

This! Thank you for backing us early years providers 🙏🏻

Soontobe60 · 28/04/2023 18:08

bruffin · 28/04/2023 17:36

It is feasible, I did it 25 years ago. I worked 20 hours a week as an assistant accountant. I worked when DC were asleep . DS went to nursery for 2 days a week and I only did 6 weeks maternity leave. DD was a really calm and happy baby and slept really well. I did a few 4ams for deadlines etc
DD went to nursery herself 2 days a week when she was 2. I carried working from for 8 years!
All my boss cared about was me getting the job done and on deadline and it was up to me when i actually worked

Show quote history

20 hours a week is nowhere near as difficult to manage as a full time role. But I’m impressed that your 2 year old took herself to nursery 😂😂

FijiSea · 28/04/2023 18:08

If you are getting three days free childcare from your mum and husband , then just pay for the other 2 days and put your baby into a nursery or child minder.
As virtually every other poster has stated it’s not possible to work from home and give 100% attention to a child.

RoseslnTheHospital · 28/04/2023 18:13

Your company shouldn't be ok with it. I know on the surface it seems like it's wonderfully flexible and tolerant of a company to be ok with you working whilst dealing with a tiny baby. But it's actually really a backwards step, and not progressive at all. What would be better would be if they were fully on board with decent mat leave and decent mat pay as well as part time working/4 day week type stuff.

You would not be happy if a nanny you hired spent the time they were looking after your baby doing work and taking business calls.

OKwhatsNext · 28/04/2023 18:13

Three kids here 🙋 5, 3, 7mo. Also a middle manager. What you suggest imo is absolutely not possible (sorry). You would manage odd minutes at best if you are prepared to not watch your baby. Don't do that.

Fwiw babies aren't meant to sleep alone (unmonitored) until 6mo for SIDS. I'm sure you know that. But just think I wouldn't personally feel comfortable having baby nap alone upstairs or something whilst I was working whilst very tiny in case I got distracted.

Goodluck op (and congrats)

bruffin · 28/04/2023 18:14

Soontobe60 · 28/04/2023 18:08

20 hours a week is nowhere near as difficult to manage as a full time role. But I’m impressed that your 2 year old took herself to nursery 😂😂

Show quote history

She was always really independent 😂
Sorry I meant DS went when he was 2 when Dd was born and she then went when she was 2.

Nanny0gg · 28/04/2023 18:14

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:50

Maybe not literally but it's what WFH has shown and most companies are pretty easy with working now. Actually at my last company someone came back off maternity leave and was doing childcare wfh and they were fine about it. My new company is more flexible than they are I would say as they're pretty new and don't have the bureaucracy that my last one did. They want collaboration hence the 3 days in the office but management is very informal and laid back. I am a team of 1 with no formal scheduled meetings at the moment. I didn't really put in the post but should have that I was only really considering it for the baby until they were 1 y old. It doesn't really sound that possible even for a small baby from what I read but I'm surprised by all of the sarcasm and judgement from people for someone who hasn't even given birth yet thinking about organising child care for 9 months time.

What if you have a screamer? What if you have a baby with colic? What if they start moving early? What if they don't sleep much?

What do you think they're going to do while you work?

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:15

I think if your contracted hours are 35 hours a week and you work 35 hours a week and get your job done your company should be ok with it. I was asking for faesibilty, not people's moral opinion

OP posts:
OKwhatsNext · 28/04/2023 18:17

Oh god I forgot my eldest had silent reflux. I think I forgot because I didn't sleep for an entire year....

Seriously op, I have had many wees with my baby on my lap because of the screaming. I've had days I can't find two minutes to get dressed or brush my teeth....

Nothingisblackandwhite · 28/04/2023 18:18

What is your job and how much if that do you spend dealing directly with other as one on the phone or meetings ?

avocadotofu · 28/04/2023 18:22

Three months is still really tiny. I don't think you can look after a tiny baby and work. One of them will suffer. Is a nanny an option?

BlueWhippets · 28/04/2023 18:23

My baby is around that age and I'm doing a degree. It's really tough. When she was very newborn it was much easier because she just slept on me but now she's awake most of the time and needs entertained. She also doesn't like sitting down so we spend a lot of the time walking about the house which would be very difficult to do whilst working. You're also constantly distracted by baby. I now do my studying when someone else has her or she's asleep.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 28/04/2023 18:24

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:15

I think if your contracted hours are 35 hours a week and you work 35 hours a week and get your job done your company should be ok with it. I was asking for faesibilty, not people's moral opinion

But you need to think about what works for your employer. If you won't be around during the day to answer any emails/phone calls, that's not helpful. There are core business hours in most companies for a reason.

UsingChangeofName · 28/04/2023 18:24

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:11

It's hardly taking the piss. I said that I would be prepared to work out of hours but wondered if it would literally be a I could get 2 hours done here 2 there or just nothing. If I wanted to take the piss I wouldn't be asking. I hate rude assumptive answers like yours.

You literally said, in your opening post but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up , so exactly when are you planning to do the work your company are paying you for ?

Of course it isn't feasible.
No, you won't be able to "get 2 hours done here 2 there" unless you neglect your baby. But even if you were, then that doesn't add up to the 7.5 hours or whatever your contract says you are being paid for each day, does it ?

Georgyporky · 28/04/2023 18:24

I think DC has to be physically distant from you during working hours.

The slightest whimper & you will naturally be distracted.

I'll be very surprised if your employer will tolerate this - I certainly wouldn't.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 28/04/2023 18:25

I worked with/for someone who did this when her baby was under a year old. This was during covid so we didn’t need to be back in the office.

I’ve got no idea what she was like before this but maybe due to lack of sleep, stress, with a young baby and pressure from her boss she became very moody and ratty/angry and a combination of micromanager/hands off. If I ever had a zoom call with her she was constantly rushing back to see to her baby. After a few months of this she put the baby in nursery most of the time and when we were due back in the office she was too (as our boss) on specified days but the baby was in nursery full time too. I left after a while as the atmosphere there was toxic with her in charge (also a sub group of our colleagues with cliques and friendships/petty fall outs) and found out that 6 months ago she was on maternity leave and due to give birth again.

In her case I’m sure her bosses knew and approved it in theory but in practice it proved very different. I don’t think it works in general and isn’t professional.

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:27

Yeah but if you're working 28 hours of your 35 within core hours then I'm not really sure why your company should have an issue with it

OP posts:
Barton10 · 28/04/2023 18:28

It very much depends on your baby. DD was an angel slept lots and would lie on her mat under her baby gym. DS didn’t sleep and wanted to be held all the time. I could have done a few bits with DD but wouldn’t have managed with DS at all. Childcare is best then you can fully concentrate on work.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 28/04/2023 18:28

It's a bit of a blur but what I remember of months 3-12 was

  • at 3 months averaging 4 hours sleep a night in 30 minute bursts (both me and DD)
  • then the 4 month sleep regression hit and sleep got REALLY shit.
  • I was often so tired I was seeing stars.
  • I did have around 3 hours a day when she was napping but often the only way to get her to sleep was walking round in the buggy so it wasn't like I could work while she slept (she had an amazing ability to ping awake as soon as we got through the front door!). I guess if you take your laptop and work on a bench it could be ok. Chilly in winter though.
  • DD was often feeding most of my 'free' time in evenings so it's not so easy to make up the hours when your DP gets home.

Based on my experience there's zero chance but maybe your baby will be easier.

Even a very very easy baby though I think you'd be lucky to get much more than 4 hours a day work done. If you get up early and do a couple of hours before DP goes to work and then do half a day on Sat / Sunday it might be ok but would be beyond knackering.

Werewolfnotswearwolf · 28/04/2023 18:29

I do two days in and two days from home atm, with two days in nursery and two days with grandparents.

My baby is 9months and I’ve been doing this since he was 6months. Grandparents arrive around 10 so I aim to start answering emails/easy admin when he has his first nap around 8:30/9 and they drop him off about 3.

My husband aims to be home by 5 on those days, does tea and bedtime and I do a few hours in the evening. Even with all this in place, my wfh days are hard! You might be fine whilst your baby is tiny but when they’re moving, eating, need stimulation and attention it’s near impossible - you’ll end up feeling like a shit employee and a shit mum all at the same time.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 28/04/2023 18:30

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:27

Yeah but if you're working 28 hours of your 35 within core hours then I'm not really sure why your company should have an issue with it

Because you couldn't work 28 hours with a baby and be fully focused on your job. It also maybe that your company wants you to work all the hours during the working day, as is their right.

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:30

Thanks for your response. 😊It's really useful as I think I need to start planning childcare now from what I heard. Hence my question

OP posts: