Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
NatashaDancing · 30/04/2023 20:43

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/04/2023 17:36

I went back to work at 3 months and I'm in the UK. Most nurseries start at 3 months.

She might feel differently when her baby is born but she also might not. A long maternity leave isn't for everyone.

Show quote history

I went back full time when my son was 2 months. I employed a full time, trained nanny who came to our house. The nanny's full time job was childcare.

Paturday · 30/04/2023 20:43

TheNachtzehrer · 28/04/2023 15:30

Here we fucking go again.

You can't do it. You'll do a shit job as a parent and a shit job as an employee and it'll quite possibly get you fired.

Jesus 😂 here YOU go again maybe, but perhaps OP has never seen any of the other threads on this (why would she have if she’s first time pregnant??) 😂 people are so ready to be mad these days.

HipHipCimorene · 30/04/2023 20:44

It’s really not feasible.
You can’t drop everything ie the baby if you get a call, etc.
Nor can you really ring off because baby is crying.
Childcare really is full on.

I suspect you’ll end up catching up for most of the weekend

oddwellingtonboots · 30/04/2023 20:46

I was self-employed when I had DS, so had zero maternity leave. I was able to do pretty much everything I needed to do to keep our company running with him next to me, and fit in going to baby groups etc

When he was 7 months, I booked 3 days nursery a week because wasn't able to get anything done and look after him at the same time.

All babies are different and all jobs are different, but I wouldn't have worked like this if I was employed.

Flufferz · 30/04/2023 20:48

Lol when mine was 3 months I was lucky to get dressed let alone work! At 7 months I still couldn’t work, although I do now manage to do housework and make dinner.

NatashaDancing · 30/04/2023 20:49

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 18:15

I think if your contracted hours are 35 hours a week and you work 35 hours a week and get your job done your company should be ok with it. I was asking for faesibilty, not people's moral opinion

Does your job involve no interaction whatsoever with colleagues, clients, customers, suppliers, deals, deadlines, interaction with the other side's team on deals, local or government agencies, statutory regulators, courts, tribunals, or basically anyone else who is in 9-5 hours job ?

CornishAdventures · 30/04/2023 20:50

I’d say it wouldn’t be feasible from experience. Can you arrange a compressed week such as 3 x 10 hour days and the remaining 7.5 hours flexible. I do similar now with 4 fixed days and remaining 4 hours flex

ConsultioConsultius · 30/04/2023 20:53

I couldn't do it at all OP it would be so difficult. I wfh 3 days a week and in the office 2. Baby is nearly 11m old and I've been back at work a month, she is with a childminder 3 days a week and grandparents the other two. Grandparents come to ours and use our house as a "base" and sometimes they are in but they are the primary care giver (the most I have done is joined them in the kitchen for a quick sandwich) and they know my call schedule etc so plan activities out the house for around them times. I would advise definitely having some sort of childcare for those wfh days as well even if it is someone in the house it takes the pressure off you.

TulipofAmsterdam · 30/04/2023 20:58

Depending on the nature of your work, I think it is possible to do that. Get most of it done when the baby is napping. Get the rest of it done when your DH is home and can take over. You might as well give it a go and just find an alternative if it does not seem to be working out for you. I used to WFH one day per week with DD before she started school. It meant doing most of the work in nap time and using a couple of evenings per week to catch up. Bonus, more time with her! Go for it.

Grimbelina · 30/04/2023 20:59

You honestly don't know what kind of baby you have and what kind of mother you will be. With my first it would have been impossible. With my second I could possibly have got work done because they were an 'easy' baby... but if I had been working then I would definitely be neglecting them.

Definitely put some childcare in place now, or ask if you can do 3 days a week for the first year.

30swith3 · 30/04/2023 21:01

Also, please don’t listen to all of the negative chat telling you that your child will never nap apart from for 15 mins and you won’t be able to look after yourself let alone WFH. Plenty of babies nap well at that age and older, and have longer gaps between feeds. All three of my kids fed every 4 hours and napped between feeds for 2-3 hours before 12 weeks and after 12 weeks napped 3 times a day for 1-2 hours. That was us, everyone is different - there is no standard. Every kid is different, every parent is different, every family is different. Do what works for you and your family - all the best!

AnotherCountryMummy · 30/04/2023 21:05

Kindly, you will look back on this when you have the baby and cringe that you thought it was possible. You'll absolutely need childcare for all days you are working.

LemonSwan · 30/04/2023 21:07

If you have a baby who is great with naps in the day then you can probably do about an hour or two of broken work.

The problem is not just the baby and the work IYSWIM. The problem is you aren’t going to have fucking slept for three months by that point and will be going fucking doolalley and barely able to do a single task thing like find your car keys - on a good day! Let alone do any effective multitasking.

twinmum2022 · 30/04/2023 21:08

weightymatters73 · 28/04/2023 15:50

We now have a rule in place that with children under 12 people need to show proof they have childcare if they would like to work from home.

Frankly that has forestalled every request....

What sort of proof? Like a note from the grandparents?

2021mumma · 30/04/2023 21:29

I’m sorry to say it’s a nice idea but it won’t work.

I have a nanny two days a week and nursery three days a week. On the day the nanny is there I can pop in and see my baby have lunch with him etc.

IcedBananas · 30/04/2023 21:30

Id strongly advise against attempting this. Either take the time off work via mat leave or use your holiday or go to work and book childcare. Personally I’m really happy to have spent as much time as possible with my kids just being present and enjoying watching them develop. Even trying to work a few ours or get a few bits and pieces done can be very stressful if the baby is not feeling very very chilled (which was most days). If work from home with a baby was a good idea everyone would be doing it and mat leave wouldn’t exist

CornishAdventures · 30/04/2023 21:31

Another option would be to maximise using kit and split days through maternity and parental leave to stretch out affordability of time off. For example after your 3 months off:

  • You could remain on maternity leave for another 3 weeks being paid maternity pay and work 3 kit day being paid usual pay for these days (you can have up to 10 kit days)
  • Then switch to parental leave, doing the same, you get 20 split days. This would give you 6 solid weeks
  • Thats 9 weeks not using all your days.
  • After switching to parental leave you can set a pattern of leave. For example taking parental leave every other week with a normal week including annual leave in between. I have put my own time off as an example
  • I worked 4 days pre maternity. I took 5 months standard maternity with my DD then did 5 weeks of maternity with 2 kit days per week. I then switched to parental leave every other week. On parental leave weeks I did 2 split days and on working weeks I booked 2 days leave. This gave me 20 more weeks at 2 days per week, so 25 weeks in total at 2 days a week with reasonable pay
  • If you did similar you could have 3 weeks at statutory maternity pay plus 3 days of wages per week. Then 6 weeks of standard pay and 6 weeks of mat pay with 3 days of wages combined extending your time by 15 weeks working 3 days per week giving you an extra 2 days off before heading back to work after 6 months. If you haven’t used this years annual leave allowance you could do a parental leave week every 3 weeks in this pattern giving yourself 21 weeks in total of 3 days per week
Aquafernspindle · 30/04/2023 21:42

At 3 months we were deep in sleep deprivation hell. I could barely function, let alone work in an office, let alone try to work at home with a baby.

Nothing prepares you for your new reality except living it!

CherryPiee · 30/04/2023 21:48

Depends what job you do tbh and the flexibility you have.

BananaLlamaFarmer · 30/04/2023 21:50

Seriously? When can you expect to be able to work from home when your child is also at home without childcare? I would honestly say you could only do this once your child is around 10-11 years old. You will not be able to do this with a baby. I work from home and I had childcare in place for every moment once I was working. My employer would not have allowed me to do otherwise. When I was looking after a young baby, I could barely function as a human being without my child needing me. I couldn’t eat a meal, have a cup of tea or take a shower at first. It gives every person who works from home a bad reputation if people misguidedly think they can do both at once. The poor folk who had to do it during lockdown found it nearly destroyed them. Maybe there are people on this thread who have incredibly unusual easy going babies, and could work around them, but that is not a normal situation. Sorry, but you are really going to have to get some childcare sorted. All the best with your pregnancy, but please, please don’t try to do the impossible, it will end in disaster and burnout and you may even end up getting fired.

SirChenjins · 30/04/2023 21:54

There are obviously a few people on here who have managed it in some form or other, but the vast majority of us haven’t - only time will tell OP, but be prepared to book childcare.

Justalittlebitduckling · 30/04/2023 21:54

Sorry OP, but caring for a baby is a job just as much as work is a job, in the sense that both demand your full time and attention. It’s not fair to either to attempt to do both at once.

Mummytotheboy · 30/04/2023 21:58

You can't. My little one was super chill and I couldn't of got any quality work done. The older they get the less they sleep, the more they move, the more stimulation and interaction they need from you. Obviously we don't know your earnings but for me i was lower management in a supermarket. After tax wage £1.6k per 4 weeks, childcare costs £1.2k. I was working 156 hours in 4 weeks, after nursery fees plus the meals at nursery i had £400 left, I would of been paying someone to look after my baby so i could earn £20 for a 8 hour day. Thats £2.50 an hour! I'm now just a shop floor staff member, I work 88 hours a month and earn £900 with £0 childcare costs.

Rawandreal1974 · 30/04/2023 22:01

When you accept a job position your responsibility is to give your very best for the hours required.
The employer should do their very best for you.
I find it incredibly exasperating that employees seem to think they’re doing people a favour by turning up to work !
Whilst you have a complete right to a family life your work time should be completely dedicated to performing to the best of your ability

There is no way you can look after a baby, or child and perform effectively at your job.

If you feel it will be too difficult to work full time then maybe reducing your hours would be the way to go ( if you can afford it )

when my children were young we went without fancy holidays, nice cars and nice cars so i could be at home ( yes I did work part time ) Have never regretted it !

I now have 2 wonderful children who are well rounded and both at uni.

you only get one chance at raising children…..the most important things you can give is your time and love

Arxx · 30/04/2023 22:09

I work from home at my own business while looking after my toddler, have done since he was 3 months and it’s possible but he is very good at entertaining himself and everything takes me twice as long, even now he’s 20 months it’s still hard as he needs his nappy changed, a snack, a drink, falls over, needs help with something etc so I rarely get more than about 3 minutes uninterrupted to work. Luckily when it’s your own business it’s okay (although I do get very stressed when working to a timescale if I physically can’t do it). I now have child care for one of the days and he will be starting some half days at nursery after he’s 2 so that will allow me to get way more done. If yours is an office type job I imagine it will be quite difficult to do with a baby in the background

Swipe left for the next trending thread