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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
Maireas · 30/04/2023 20:05

@violetpixie what kind of work do you do?

violetpixie · 30/04/2023 20:07

Maireas · 30/04/2023 20:05

@violetpixie what kind of work do you do?

I'm a software engineer

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/04/2023 20:08

Not manageable at all. I’ve tried making it work on days when they are off nursery ill and it is so hard. I would not choose it and you can’t work properly.

HauntedPencil · 30/04/2023 20:08

This would be incredibly stressful and bad for your mental health - even maybe a morning in childcare and an afternoon at home with you catching up in the evening might be workable but you will end up caring for a baby and trying to look effective most of the day and catching up at night when you are exhausted anyway. So I would definitely suggest childcare

We had to sign to show we had this before being allowed to work at home.

Or 4 condensed days might work.

I did try before lockdown to bodge around with it all and it was honestly hellish.

Namechangethisonetime · 30/04/2023 20:08

No… not feasible with a baby that age. Nor fair. On her, your employer, or yourself. You will be working around the clock to get your work done.

Yes, we all had to do it during the lockdowns. In my experience, it had a cost both to our kids, and our personal wellbeing.

Imisssleep2 · 30/04/2023 20:09

I work from home and so does my husband, i went back after 9 months full time (42.5hrs a week in my job) but i do not work when i have my son, he is now 2.5years. my work have allowed me to do flexible hours which is the only way we have been able to make it work. I get up at 4am and work till 8.30/9 when my husband starts work, he looks after our son till then, getting him dressed, breakfast etc, i then take over and care for him till 12 when he goes for a nap, luckily he still likes a 2-3hr nap and i work while he sleeps, then when he wakes my husband has a late lunch where i finish my hours then i take back over and my husband goes back to work. It has worked for us, but it is hard work. I have only ever done the odd half hours work while caring for my son when i have really had to, ie someone needs something doing urgently or he wakes early from his nap but it is hard work and you cant do both at any age really if you dont have flexible hours. Unless you can arrange flexible hours on your at home days you will prob need child care from when you go back to work.

Maireas · 30/04/2023 20:09

violetpixie · 30/04/2023 20:07

I'm a software engineer

Show quote history

Right, so obviously flexible enough to work with a young baby. Maybe the OP has a similar sort of job and could look after the baby as well. Sounds doable.

Kazzyhoward · 30/04/2023 20:12

Please don't even think about it. When you're working from home, the whole point is that you're actually "working", not feeding/playing with your child. It's trying to multi-task like that which gives home-workers a bad name. How do you think you're going to have a business phone call or a skype/teams meeting with a crying baby on your lap?

Scousefab · 30/04/2023 20:12

Could you maybe try a keep in touch day with your baby and do work. I worked with a five year old during lock down and only due to work volumes and stock market dying a death I managed. It. I made a lot of mistakes and was very lucky to have good work colleagues who sweeped up the errors I made. I would maybe do one day from home and a nursery day x keeps baby socialised and builds up immune system. I loved the nursery my daughter went to they where amazing. She learnt so much and has amazing social skills. Make sure you ask about child tax vouchers will keep costs down.

Confused5678 · 30/04/2023 20:13

I Struggle to have a shower / get dressed sometimes . My 6 month old is very active / noisy. I could never do me job at home with him .

roseheartfly · 30/04/2023 20:20

I do it. I have a work load and as long as I get it done it works fine. I plan the day, and my husband steps in when he gets home giving me a good 2/3 hours to focus.

caringcarer · 30/04/2023 20:20

You will need to go part time if you will only get childcare for 3 days. What will you do if you have a meeting and your baby is crying? It's not fair to a baby or employer.

OperationUnicorn · 30/04/2023 20:22

When I was on maternity leave with DS, I kept a standalone project from my work which I got paid for separately. I thought it would be easy because I could do it at any time as it was nearly all email based and not needing urgent responses. It was unbelievably hard, and DS was a very easy baby. It was just practically impossible to concentrate, and I was tired as well. I got it done, but it was waaaay harder than I'd imagined.

namnamnam22 · 30/04/2023 20:23

I posted an exact thread like this probably around 2 years ago when I was pregnant and more or less got a ‘that won’t work’ response and tbh I wholeheartedly have to agree, there is no way I could have worked from home with my LO

twinmum2007 · 30/04/2023 20:23

I went back for 4 days a week, 1 of which was at home when the babies (twins) were at nursery, 1 when they were at home. The day at home was hard, but I worked when they napped in the morning and had family come and sit with them in the afternoon. It was hard, but I was able to make up stuff on my day off ,& weekends if necessary.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 20:25

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

Sorry but wfh does not mean working and looking after your baby, childcare should be arranged.

Soapyspuds · 30/04/2023 20:25

How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby

I think three or even four

Minutes.
But probably less.

Marchitectmummy · 30/04/2023 20:26

You need children in place, as others have said a baby will take up so much of your time.

I would even say until the child is 9 or 10 you will need childcare.

NatashaDancing · 30/04/2023 20:29

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

You need childcare from the first day you start working. Your paid employment isn't something you fit in around looking after your baby.

Minimooncat · 30/04/2023 20:32

Zero days. This will never work even for half an hour!

Hankunamatata · 30/04/2023 20:33

If baby is a decent napper you might be able to get couple hours work done but anything other than that yabu

caringcarer · 30/04/2023 20:37

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:21

The concept from work from home and it's success is that people don't need to work 9-5 at their desk in order to get their job done. Like I said I am fully prepared to do the hours but maybe not within normal working time. as someone who has had relatively little time with children I have absolutely no idea of impact on your time hence the question. I am really starting to see why Mumsnet has such a bad reputation and why I was hesitant to post 🤣

My dh logs on at 8am. Logs off for lunch at 12 noon then back on at 1pm. Logs off mostly at 5 but finishes early on Friday at 3pm. He is always available for meetings and phone calls. If I ask him to put a load of washing on he says he hasn't got time he is paid to be working. He might get it done at lunch time. Babies don't really sleep for set 2 hours at a time. You will be up in the night once or twice and very tired. Your baby might not settle and cry a lot. You really need to organise child care. My dd had a baby at home during lockdown and ended up having to get up at 5.30 every day to feed baby before work. Start at 6am. Work until 8am when her DH was looking after baby. Work for 1 hour when baby was asleep. Work again when her DH got home at 5.30. She worked from 5.30 until 10pm every night. Just to get her 7.5 hours in. She was absolutely exhausted and rang me in tears. As soon as I could I had to go down and spend 2 days looking after dgs midweek so she could work 2 long days then could do a bit less other days.

MargaretThursday · 30/04/2023 20:40

I had a very easy #1. She was very happy to sit and play with what she could reach for 40 minutes at a time, and slept 12 hours at night and 3 hours in the afternoon with regular feeds. I could hold her on my lap and type emails, and she'd just watch. She didn't crawl until 10 months.
I still couldn't have done meaningful work for a day. I remember trying to get things ready for visitors, and realising how much longer it was taking because I'd have to stop to feed/change nappy/pass something she'd dropped, etc.

Then I had #2 who wouldn't be put down, feeds were on her terms and when she wanted it, it was NOW, crawled at 5 months, definitely wanted to bash anything I was trying to do like write an email, and sleep during the day was 30-40 minutes at irregular times, and night wasn't too much better.

So between the two extremes, I could probably have done occasional emergency days with #1 around. I could never have done anything with #2.

Scirocco · 30/04/2023 20:42

I went back to work when DC was 9 months old. There have been days when I've had to be at home instead of at work (eg when DC has been unwell) but still had to attend meetings virtually as nobody else could do them.

Invariably, those have followed a pattern of:
"Hi everyone, just to let you know..."
SCREAM
"...DC is here with us..."
SCREAM, wriggle, pulling camera round, waving hello
(Please don't let these Very Important Sounding People notice the mess in the background)
"Anyway, I was hoping we could discuss...
Oh, what a cute toy DC has brought to show people.
Aaand more Screaming.

Once, DC pulled down my top to feed, giving my boss's boss a view I really wish they hadn't seen.

WFH while looking after a baby leads to both things not getting done properly. There'll be times when it's unavoidable but for your own sanity organise childcare for when you're working.

YouJustDoYou · 30/04/2023 20:42

I couldn't manage at all, my work suffered, it was horrifically stressful and I was being paid minimum shit wage to boot. Had to quit.