Working from home with baby - Advice

[Gem2x87]

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

Not manageable at all. I went back to work at 7 weeks and could do maybe an hour a day when I was alone with the baby in the house.

some days, I couldn’t even get to have a shower or get up to get a drink while she slept on me let alone focus on work.

Like I said I am fully prepared to do the hours but maybe not within normal working time

But you said in your first post "I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up"

Which is it, OP?

Absolutely. I’m one of the one people that had to do this during lockdown, and it was hell on earth.

Advice for OP. Just don’t! If you work, get proper childcare. Otherwise you, the baby and your work will suffer immensely.

Let’s say you manage to get 2 hours of 8 done. Then the baby goes to bed at 7/7:30 if you are lucky (or your DH takes over at say 6). At that point you have to work ANOTHER 6 hours so till midnight. And then feed at night and then be up whenever the baby gets up say 5/6.
And that’s with the baby giving you the full two hours to work uninterrupted.
You will be exhausted. And clearly not at your best as a mother or an employee.

I've had 3 kids and run my own business. it is possible to wfh with a baby but sometimes I have to catch up at evenings and weekends.

I've read a lot of these wfh threads, and often it does seem like some jobs are not particularly intensive or demanding. People do housework, childcare, gardening, walking the dog etc. Someone was watching episodes of Frasier during the working day! If your job is fairly light touch you could probably manage, but you just don't know how demanding your baby will be, even if that's the case.

This.

So if you had a piece of work that needed to be finished and the baby was crying or hungry, which would be the task that got put off?

Most companies don't allow this as a permanent arrangement and with good reason. Perhaps occasionally if a child is ill or no childcare that day.

I think you’ve already had lots of responses which tell you what you need to know in terms of how not feasible this is. I haven’t read the whole thread but would also add that you need to be a bit kinder to yourself if possible a build some slack into your schedule, not cram it so full that the slightest problem (because there are always problems) pushes you to the wall.
going back f/t at 6 months or a year is challenging enough, but at three months you’ll barely have had a chance to recover yourself.

Having a baby isn’t something you can always troubleshoot in advance and you need to factor in SLEEP - which until now is something you’ve mainly been able to take for granted but is going to get a whole lot more scarce in your life, at exactly the time when it’s needed more than ever.

If you can go back a few months later - do. If you can reduce your hours for the first 6 months you’re back - do. Failing all that make sure that you have childcare - if you have a nanny/au pair/babysitter two days a week then you might be able to eg. have some playtime with your baby during your lunch break. But you’ll also have be able to crawl into bed and sleep for an hour if you need to! It’s not a win for you or the baby if you’re so stressed and exhausted you can’t function during the nights or at weekends.

Good luck!

I would not have been able to do this. I found working during lockdown tough going with a 3 year old!
what you could do is half day childcare. Try and blitz as much in the Morning and then hope there’s an afternoon nap.
I’m not going to lie, babies are full on.

For your own sanity childcare from the moment you go back.

I know you think the baby will sleep, but there will still be large portions of the day where baby is awake and needing you.

What you’re suggesting just isn’t feasible at all.

If you want more time with the baby you will need to take more maternity than 3 months.

My baby is 5 months and is yet to take a single nap in the cot that lasts longer than 10 minutes. I’m therefore required to walk for 3 hours a day for them to sleep in the pram / carrier. Add in 2 hours of BF, 1/2 hour for nappy changes and you have little left of a working day without factoring in any play etc. Good luck!

What kind of business are you able to run from home with three children around?

There’s absolutely no way you’ll be able to ignore a baby for a full working day. If you’re lucky you might get an hour in per day when or IF they’re napping. They may only nap for 20 mins at a time and probably on you!

5 or 6 years ago my then toddler smashed a glass jug when I was on a work call on my day off that I was told I had to dial in for (redundancy related). Thankfully they just nicked their finger and no real damage was done. I was distracted on the call and not supervising them and felt awful afterwards.

One of my colleagues at the time was told initially it was ok but eventually were told they would be disciplined if they did not put childcare in place. They said if the child had an accident while the colleague was working the company could be subject to an insurance claim etc.

Most companies have a policy for time off for dependants and there is no way it would be allowed on a regular basis.

@Gem2x87 Just from purely a feasibility stance... I would find it hard to fit the hours in on a weekly basis! Have a 4 month old so still on mat leave but doing some KIT days and I honestly dont think I would be able to find 14hrs a week reliable working time even outside core hours without someone else having baby! There so many unpredictable things that can happen and even if you tried to just work evenings and weekends you'll likely be so tired/wanting to catch up on house stuff/spend time with partnee/have a shower etc that I think fitting in the hours for work will feel like a lot!

Everyone completely overestimates how much a baby will sleep! I blame TV, babies are always napping. Even if you get a three month old who naps for hours at a time, they won’t when they hit the 4/5 month regression!

I did similar to this and I do not recommend. My mental health really suffered, especially when the baby napped less. I spent days full
of anxiety at every Teams ping and unscheduled call. I felt like I was doing a crap job at both motherhood and my actual job. Even now I look back at photos of my baby from this period and I’m filled with sadness that I really didn’t enjoy this time at all. I really really would not recommend this to you, sorry that’s not helpful but just want to share my experience. I think you’re very fortunate to have 3 days of childcare covered, I would definitely organise childcare for the days you are working.

I work from home. Full time at home over four days (compressed hours) 8-6. DH has DS10months 1 day a week (he has a similar arrangement with his work), my dad has DS 2 days a week and 1 day a week MIL has DS. MIL initially looked after DS in my house while I was working. I got nothing done. It was so stressful. I couldn’t even contemplate trying to look after DS and work at the same time. DS is what they call an ‘easy’ baby. He really is no trouble at all. But I still couldn’t work and look after him.

be kind to yourself and sort childcare.

You can't work from home with a baby (or a toddler, or a preschooler). Even a baby who is extremely 'well behaved' and sleeps a lot, still needs a lot of attention and won't be able to wait until e.g. you have finished your call. I wouldn't bet on getting a lot done in the evening, either, because unless you are very lucky the baby will still be waking a few times in the night and/or starting the day very early, and you may be very tired.

Basically, if you want to work full time, you need full time childcare of some sort. Alternatively, would it be feasible for you to go part time for a while e.g. 3 days a week, or take a longer period of maternity leave?

I have a 7 month old and do this currently, I started when he was 3 months at 2 days a week then worked up to 4 days currently. My work are very flexible on my hours so I start early finish a bit later but take breaks for baby regularly. I miss calls every now and then when he's asleep on me but other than that it's great and I'm still very productive.

I’m sorry but I am going to add to the voices saying don’t try and do this. During lockdown I had a 1yo and a 3yo and trying to work. It was shit for them and shit for us. It became impossible and the only way we managed to continue doing work and home was to do 2 hour shifts each of work and childcare starting from 6am. It is quite frankly dangerous trying to juggle both childcare and work especially if on calls and my experience has cemented the fact I wouldn’t approve it as a long standing arrangement for anyone I manage in the future (one-offs, sickness etc is fine).

Something has to give and either you child will be stuck in front of the tv or your work will suffer. Tv doesn’t even really work with little ones as they don’t engage with it in the same way.

Napping won’t necessarily be consistent until the baby is older and even then not fully reliable. some kids are amazing (in which case you can do a bit more). Others are not. My first did 2-3 hours solid until she was 3. My second dropped her nap altogether at 2 (much to my horror) and never napped longer than 1h30.

Would you leave your baby with a childminder who was also WFH in another job?

It’s unfair on colleagues and the company are paying you to do half a job. As if you can get your job done and care for a small baby, then you need your targets increasing. It is the reason working from home will eventually be reduced because many people take the piss. If you’re working and have under school age kids then you need childcare