Working from home with baby - Advice

[Gem2x87]

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

That’s quite unusual. How do you deal with unexpected calls or last minute meetings? Staffing issues that have to be dealt with? Unplanned urgent work? Did you have to work a lot at weekends and in the evenings when your partner or someone else could cover?

Mine both slept 2 hrs at lunch and were in a decent routine. However I could not have worked on days I had them with me.

What about 4 long days and find a child minder for that day your parents or DH can't have the baby?

What about going down to a 3 day week?

I think it would be unfair on your baby if you're focused on work. You won't be able to do toddler groups, the park, swimming etc if you are working. So surely the baby would be better off with childminder for a day or two a week?

Other option is you work an early morning shift say 5-7, do another 2 hours at lunch then work say 6-10pm?

I know you directed your question to nothingisblackand white but I have the same experience - it was a combination of schedule, living space and not trying to do all the household stuff myself as well.

Schedule:

My work is based around delivering a project to a deadline but can be completely self-scheduled, all communication with clients was using online messaging sites like Slack or Basecamp so sounds in the background wasn't an issue. I could play music and sing along with her without disturbing anyone else.

I had to be very flexible so that I could jump into the complicated focused work for short periods at a time where she was napping (40 mins to 1.5 hours), or was playing quietly on her own (10-20 minutes). I saved the work that can be done with half an eye on other things to cover meltdowns or breastfeeding/feeding etc. I also used a chunk of time in the evening or morning when DH was home to work.

Luckily my work schedule was flexible enough to go to baby classes in the day, or host playdates, or take advantage of the good weather and go outside and play whenever possible. Playdates were also good if another mother wanted to get a bit of work done and we could tag team the babies while the other mother worked.

Living Space:

I used those freestanding baby gates to create a working and playing space which had my desktop computer and all the sensitive wires outside of a huge gated play area which included a sofa (before the climbing started) so that I could take my laptop in there if needed.

The space was babyproofed so I had somewhere secure where she could not hurt herself if I wasn't in there with her. I kept different baskets of toys in rotation so that she didn't get bored. And from early on I encouraged a lot of self-regulated play - 5 minutes here and there at first but she was a really busy-focused baby and at 1 years old could easily entertain herself with toys and books for 20 minutes - 30 minutes at a time. I may have just lucked out with her personality with this.

Household stuff:

You can't do all the household chores as well if you wfh with a kid because you've used up all your 'not entertaining or holding the kid time' on your work. So DH stepped up and took over stuff like laundry, I batch-cooked and bought more ready-prepared meal items. Someone else did the cleaning etc.

And it ebbed and flowed. Some periods were easier - newborn stage, crawling but pre climbing stage etc. Some periods were intense - teething etc.

You've got to be able to be flexible. Have total support from your DH. And if possible connect with Mums in similar situations and help each other out with work/playdates.

Depends on your baby. My second didn’t nap so would have been impossible.

You can’t work at home with a baby (other than answer short emails) unless you have childcare, eg a nursery or someone else at home to look after them. Yes babies do sleep but often short stretches, and if you’ve been up in the night you may need to nap also.

I’ve got 3 kids, around 9 months old they all had 3 naps per day and I did 1.5 days working from home with them with me from 9 months to around 12 months/15 months old. No one size fits all, completely depends on the baby, schedule, how you work from home, and your job. All you can do is trial it and see. You will know if you’ll be able to do it or not. I was regularly told I wouldn’t be able to do it, now on my third child, 8 years later and able to manage it. Good Luck!

WFH during Covid, even in a part time capacity, whilst also having my kids at home was a nightmare - for me, my kids, my partner & my work. I didn’t have the option of shutting myself away to get on with my work like so many of my colleagues could. Kids interrupting Teams call etc made me feel very unprofessional. Thankfully my boss was extremely understanding as they’d same issues! Now the life’s more ‘normal’ we’ve returned to pre-pandemic working; where WFH with kids with us is actively discouraged by my workplace - in fact, it wouldn’t be granted. It also wouldn’t be something I’d choose to do again as I found the whole experience extremely stressful (mind you, we were living through a pandemic) & impacted my wellbeing. If you have other options, I would be exploring those.

Nanny at home could work? I did this and loved being able to see the baby between meetings/calls

I don't think you can know for sure until the baby arrives. If I'd had the opportunity to do this with my DD, it would have been gone. She was an angel. If I'd tried it with my DS, it would not have worked he needed more time.

I went back full time and had a child minder.

I went back 4 days a week, tues-fri in office. I split the 1 day across my two days at home, so half day mon and half day fri. Mine were amazing sleepers and settled into a solid routine with long naps, and until they started dropping naps fitting in 3-4 hrs on each day was quite doable. But not all children do sleep well, and I would say that I’d have preferred to flop onto sofa once they went down rather than fire up the laptop.
I think their sleeping hours is the only way it would work, as most (not all, there are always exceptions) young babies don’t entertain themselves very well. It’s not really spending quality time with them, which it sounds like what you’re looking for, if you’re essentially fibbing them off on a toy/Tv programme so you can finish off an email - which is what I felt I was doing once they started dropping naps. At that point I booked one day nursery and did a complete day of work and took my day off as ‘off’. But that’s because I was 4 days a week already…. They’re 8 now, and I’m just about to go back full time, once they went to school I really enjoyed having the day off to do housework/errands so I didn’t have to during the weekends. But with living costs these days it seems a no brainier to increase my income….
good luck

Check to see if your employer has a policy relating to this. Some may require there to he another sdult looking after the child.

Depending on your job you cannot properly take care of a little one whilst also properly focus on your work.

If your hours can be flexible so you can work whilst others are there, around nap times/after bedtime etc it may work, but you won't know for a long time how well vary will sleep or if you can get into that routine.

It’ll be hard OP, even the most chilled out baby has a lot of needs. What I’d say is give it a go then see? Although it can take time to get childcare, have you thought to take longer off work? Have a longer mat leave?

Really struggling to imagine what type of work you are doing.
Especially the 3-7 pm slot … with a one year old needing tea bath story bed and a 7 year old needing attention after school and also reading etc … do you take that time out of work and then do it 7-9.30 say? If your senior position allows you to stop work at 5.30??

You’ll be doing 2 jobs - neither very well.
And you’ll be knackered.

Hi OP, I agree with other posters who have suggested that if you could possibly work 4 days this would help. Otherwise I fear you may need more childcare while you are working and the baby is young.

What happens when you're in a Zoom call and your baby starts screaming the place down for a feed etc? How will you, or anyone else in the call, concentrate? I speak from experience as the other person on the call. Its just not do-able.

Agree with everyone saying I don't think it would be possible. In my own case, baby is now 9 months and very active, I could find her anywhere doing anything. When she was younger her naps were short and sweet so I wouldn't have been able to get work done. The out of hours thing, could possibly have 2 free hours in the evening when they start distinguishing day from night, but if you used that time to work you would literally have zero free time. In theory it's a nice idea but honestly I don't think it would work and it's defo not something you will know fully until you see how chilled your baby is

Little babies grow into toddlers and they cannot be left unattended. A child died in lockdown by falling into a hot tub when their parent was trying WFH and care for them.

This might feel like a pile on, honestly this is just years of experience

Whilst your work may allow it and it is probably possible to fit in the extra hrs around the rest of the day.

it’s a mental strain and it would eat you up not actually being able to interact and be to work with the baby the way you want.

if you can afford to have childcare then it really is the best option for everyone and less stressful.

the two days at home mean you can get washing done, or put the slow cooker on have a quick clean of the bathroom.

I'm sorry but your post did make me laugh OP. I felt I could barely cope looking after myself (badly) & caring for a newborn/young baby so the thought of trying to work 2 full days at home whilst also caring 100% for my baby??? Umm nope 🤣 You have no idea how easy/hard your baby will be - mine hated to be put down & wanted b feeding almost constantly. I spent the first few weeks & months crying a lot. A 3 month old baby will be hard work - they might not nap much during the day & normally you'd want to take them out in the pram for fresh air etc. They will get ratty & bored cooped up inside all day. Get some childcare sorted or your job & baby & your health will all suffer.

My DS was awake most the day from 3 months, it would have been literally impossible to work as well as care for him properly all day. Babies won't just sit, you'll be lucky if you have baby that lets you shower and they also need interaction, you'd either be performing poor as parent or as an employee imo

It's really way more difficult than you imagine.
I booked mine into nursery from 6 months for 3 days a week but worked from home at my mums with baby for 2 days

I would personally advise at least 6-9 months off, sleep deprivation is awful and to put working f/t in too.

each to their own, but I would advise not to give your work a firm date yet as you may change your mind.

Yes I do work all day long , I get up early before anyone else so I can have 2 hours without interruptions . I then reply to small emails or easier replies while I’m with the toddler or baby ( when she was a baby ) I also make any letters I need when she is awake and entertained . Those that require a more focused mindset I tend to leave to when she sleeps or after hubby gets home . I had on occasion to make the odd phone call with the baby which normally I do when she is on her high chair watching peppa pig or similar but I do my best to leave meetings and client calls to when she is asleep or someone is here apart from me . It’s m to sets up call times and meetings most of the time so I will adjust them to when it suits us ( within office time off course ) .
I won’t say it’s easy but needs must and not be had to multitask with my children for years , as I was a single working mum for over a decade . I’m a “ always on the go “ sort of person so although it is probably exhausting to some , it’s been my life for years .
We “ compensate “ ourselves with 2 or 3 holidays a year to relax so I can recharge so I see a busy day as a means to achieve my holiday goal lol

Sorry to piss on your chips, but if you are working you can't also look after a child. It is as simple as that.