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Original poster

DH dismissed from work

164 replies

user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:35

Last month DH was sacked from his job for gross misconduct.
I am really worried we live in a very small town where everyone knows each other. I heard from a friend today that everyone is talking about why he was sacked and coming up with different theories.
I don't know how he will find another job if everyone is talking about him and giving him a bad reputation.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 12/04/2023 19:36

What did he do?

He could try remote roles with a company based far away.

SunshineGeorgie · 12/04/2023 19:37

I'd consider moving. Mud sticks

MrsBunnyEars · 12/04/2023 19:38

Are his skills transferable to a new sector where they might not be in the loop? Obviously he can’t lie and he may have a tricky reference (or none). But a clean slate can help, especially if it’s an area where the type of gross misconduct is less relevant.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2023 19:39

Well if he did something terrible, presumably that's also going to hinder his employment chances.

If what he didn't isn't as bad as people are making up, I'd go for total honesty.

Ultimately this is on him, not the local gossips.

He could try looking for work on a commute?

Effieswig · 12/04/2023 19:39

It really depends on what he did and how gossip worth it is. Although I suppose the gossips might start worse rumours.

Also depends on what industry, does he want to stay in the industry, can he work remotely for a company far away? If it’s really bad, is moving an option?

Could there be any impact on your job?

Original poster
user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:42

Effieswig · 12/04/2023 19:39

It really depends on what he did and how gossip worth it is. Although I suppose the gossips might start worse rumours.

Also depends on what industry, does he want to stay in the industry, can he work remotely for a company far away? If it’s really bad, is moving an option?

Could there be any impact on your job?

The gossips are defiantly making it worse than it is. When he does get a job interview he will be honest but its just a worry that he might not make it to that stage if everyone is talking about him.

OP posts:
Original poster
user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:43

*definitely

OP posts:
SunshineGeorgie · 12/04/2023 19:44

Gross misconduct is not just a small mistake is it!?

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 12/04/2023 19:54

Gossip fills a vacuum. Would saying what happened, at least to some, be a option?

Sensibletrousers · 12/04/2023 20:12

user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:35

Last month DH was sacked from his job for gross misconduct.
I am really worried we live in a very small town where everyone knows each other. I heard from a friend today that everyone is talking about why he was sacked and coming up with different theories.
I don't know how he will find another job if everyone is talking about him and giving him a bad reputation.

It’s not the gossips who will give him a bad reputation- his behaviour that lead to gross misconduct is fully to blame. He needs to be accountable and deal with the fallout.

GlassBunion · 12/04/2023 20:14

Do you feel able to tell us why he was sacked as it will help us to help you find a way forward?

Xarrie · 12/04/2023 20:15

What type of job does he have? Can he do it remotely and work for a company in another area?

GretaGood · 12/04/2023 20:17

I think gossip moves on pretty fast - onto the next divorce/ death/ murder/ burglary - just carry on as normal and wait for it to pass.

coloursquare · 12/04/2023 20:18

What did he do? Was he sacked or allowed to resign?

bigbird50 · 12/04/2023 20:18

Gross misconduct is serious -

some examples are easy to google -theft, physical violence, gross negligence or serious insubordination.

even in my workplace with people being accused of gross misconduct it is rare for it to lead to a sacking so I am sorry but your DH must have had clear evidence against him and him getting work is going to be difficult

AmandaHoldensLips · 12/04/2023 20:20

Are you sure you actually know what the gross misconduct was? Or has he spun you a sanitised version?

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:21

Being sacked for gross misconduct will give him a bad reputation. Gossip is just gossip and any employer worth anything won't listen to it. You know he doesnt have to only apply for jobs in your small town through right?

DeadbeatYoda · 12/04/2023 20:21

Do you know why he was sacked? As in, the truth rather than the version he admitted to?

PuffinsRocks · 12/04/2023 20:22

bigbird50 · 12/04/2023 20:18

Gross misconduct is serious -

some examples are easy to google -theft, physical violence, gross negligence or serious insubordination.

even in my workplace with people being accused of gross misconduct it is rare for it to lead to a sacking so I am sorry but your DH must have had clear evidence against him and him getting work is going to be difficult

Actually in some companies gross misconduct can be as silly as checking your phone during work time. And even in the examples you've outlined there's room for interpretation. Who decides what constitutes "insubordination", for example and what the threshold of proof is.

BelindaBears · 12/04/2023 20:22

Is there a reason he needs to get a job in your really small town as opposed to the nearest larger town, city, or generally anywhere else?

drpet49 · 12/04/2023 20:23

What did he do?

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:26

PuffinsRocks · 12/04/2023 20:22

Actually in some companies gross misconduct can be as silly as checking your phone during work time. And even in the examples you've outlined there's room for interpretation. Who decides what constitutes "insubordination", for example and what the threshold of proof is.

Show quote history

Most companies think very long and hard and consult employment lawyers before instant dismissal for gross misconduct and they dont want to be taken to tribunal. If your DH was sacked for a minor indiscretion or an over zealous interpretation of the criteria for gross misconduct tell him to take it to tribunal. If he actually did something serious then its just tough really and he needs to look outside the small gossipy circle for future employment.

MySugarBabyLove · 12/04/2023 20:29

Based on the fact the OP is being evasive about the reasons I doubt that it’s as simple as checking his phone during work hours.

The only person to blame for him being unemployable is him, and the reality is that few reputable employers will employ someone who has been sacked for gross misconduct. For starters he can forget about a reference from his previous employers, so he’s pretty much screwed his chances.

And if my DH was sacked for gross misconduct, the only reason I’d be worrying about his getting another job would be because I would be wanting to claim child maintanence.

defi · 12/04/2023 20:30

Is his industry tight nit? Doesn't necessarily have to tell employers why he left last role

MySugarBabyLove · 12/04/2023 20:31

defi · 12/04/2023 20:30

Is his industry tight nit? Doesn't necessarily have to tell employers why he left last role

That will depend though on how long he’s been there. A month and he can easily avoid mentioning it. A few years and they’ll be wanting a reference and have no chance of getting one.