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Original poster

DH dismissed from work

164 replies

user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:35

Last month DH was sacked from his job for gross misconduct.
I am really worried we live in a very small town where everyone knows each other. I heard from a friend today that everyone is talking about why he was sacked and coming up with different theories.
I don't know how he will find another job if everyone is talking about him and giving him a bad reputation.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:32

defi · 12/04/2023 20:30

Is his industry tight nit? Doesn't necessarily have to tell employers why he left last role

Yes he does. Plus new employers will want a reference from the most recent previous employer.

justgettingthroughtheday · 12/04/2023 20:33

I was sacked for gross misconduct for being seen having a coffee with a friend (at a cafe down the road from the hospital whilst waiting for a taxi take me home from an appointment) whilst off sick. Apparently me being well enough to sit outside a quiet cafe meant I should be capable of working a 12hr shift!
In hindsight I probably should have challenged them much more.

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:34

justgettingthroughtheday · 12/04/2023 20:33

I was sacked for gross misconduct for being seen having a coffee with a friend (at a cafe down the road from the hospital whilst waiting for a taxi take me home from an appointment) whilst off sick. Apparently me being well enough to sit outside a quiet cafe meant I should be capable of working a 12hr shift!
In hindsight I probably should have challenged them much more.

You definitely should have, you would have won.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 12/04/2023 20:36

user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:42

The gossips are defiantly making it worse than it is. When he does get a job interview he will be honest but its just a worry that he might not make it to that stage if everyone is talking about him.

Show quote history

Can he address it in his applications? E.g. within a cover letter or similar? Explain why he was dismissed, and what he'll do differently to prevent it happening again?

Has he been able to agree a reference?

FredaFox · 12/04/2023 20:36

How does your small town know he was even sacked?!

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 12/04/2023 20:36

justgettingthroughtheday · 12/04/2023 20:33

I was sacked for gross misconduct for being seen having a coffee with a friend (at a cafe down the road from the hospital whilst waiting for a taxi take me home from an appointment) whilst off sick. Apparently me being well enough to sit outside a quiet cafe meant I should be capable of working a 12hr shift!
In hindsight I probably should have challenged them much more.

You 100% should have. This is why being in a union is so important.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 12/04/2023 20:40

I'm sorry, OP. Regardless of what you DH did or didn't do, this must be incredibly stressful for you. Do you rely on his income or can you manage on your salary while he is looking?

The gossip will die down soon, people will get bored of it. Try not to worry. Flowers

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 12/04/2023 20:40

FredaFox · 12/04/2023 20:36

How does your small town know he was even sacked?!

By the means of gossip presumably

I live in quite a s mall place and news travels

YoBeaches · 12/04/2023 20:40

Honestly if you're worrying about town gossip then you're quite naive.

Focus your energy on where your income is going to come from, how many months can you survive without his earnings and make a short to medium term plan to see you through.

defi · 12/04/2023 20:42

Yes he does. Plus new employers will want a reference from the most recent previous employer.

^^ a reference can be from any source of employment if he puts that as his latest reference.

OMGitsnotgood · 12/04/2023 20:47

To be honest I think he will have an uphill battle regardless of local gossip, that said there may be ways of dealing with it. Can appreciate you might not want to say why he was dismissed, but if you could, people might be able to offer some constructive advice.

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:48

defi · 12/04/2023 20:42

Yes he does. Plus new employers will want a reference from the most recent previous employer.

^^ a reference can be from any source of employment if he puts that as his latest reference.

Yes because lying on your CV is definitely the right thing to do.

Aturnipforthebooks · 12/04/2023 20:48

Look for work in the next town over?

MySugarBabyLove · 12/04/2023 20:48

defi · 12/04/2023 20:42

Yes he does. Plus new employers will want a reference from the most recent previous employer.

^^ a reference can be from any source of employment if he puts that as his latest reference.

That’s all well and good if he’s only been there a couple of months. If he’s been there longer than that though an employer is going to want him to explain the employment gap.

MySugarBabyLove · 12/04/2023 20:49

defi · 12/04/2023 20:42

Yes he does. Plus new employers will want a reference from the most recent previous employer.

^^ a reference can be from any source of employment if he puts that as his latest reference.

And lying on your CV is a sackable offence in itself.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 12/04/2023 20:55

I would try to find the source of the gossip and get them to quit. A cease and desist letter should do it. The employer should not have spoken about it but I can appreciate if iypt was something serious like theft. Assault or sexual harassment people will gossip but they should absolutely be no one who know the truth. We had to fire a chap who went to prison for raping the mother of his child and had him suspended for the year running up to his trial but we never confirmed the reason to anyone outside the meeting room. People will talk but they dont know what happened for sure. Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title.

TennisWithDeborah · 12/04/2023 20:57

I’d focus on the practicalities rather than the yappers, OP, especially if you have minor children. Maybe post on the Money Matters board if you want to discuss finances, benefits etc.

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:58

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title.

Yes this is true but there is normally 1 further question which is "would you employ this individual again?" And if there is a no to that it is normally game over.

Theyvelostit · 12/04/2023 21:00

Gross misconduct can be for something not very serious. DH damaged a piece of machinery on a tree. The cost to machinary was small and he offered to pay. He completely owned up, showed them the damage and the tree in question. They accused him of lying about which tree it was. I couldn't believe it until I read the report, it was absurd.
People also gossiped and made it worse. The gossips had to be put straight as the story became ridiculous.
To the poster who suggested moving house; really??

Greensleevevssnotnose · 12/04/2023 21:02

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:58

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title.

Yes this is true but there is normally 1 further question which is "would you employ this individual again?" And if there is a no to that it is normally game over.

I thought that stopped decades ago. I've not seen it in the last 20 years and I have requested and completed hundreds in that time ( call centre management very high turnover)

Bunce1 · 12/04/2023 21:02

i think you need to be a bit honest with people to a certain degree and put the gossip to bed.

what you say and how much detail is up to your but you have to own it and set the narrative.

Theyvelostit · 12/04/2023 21:02

To add, he got a reference and another job. But they wanted people gone and he was in a long line of people who were sacked. It really depends on what your DH has done .

Noodlehen · 12/04/2023 21:05

I think it depends on what the gross misconduct.

Noodlehen · 12/04/2023 21:06

Was*

Winterworld · 12/04/2023 21:07

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:58

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title.

Yes this is true but there is normally 1 further question which is "would you employ this individual again?" And if there is a no to that it is normally game over.

Just curious, is this not debatable though? Surely (not necessarily in this case) a manager could state they wouldn't employ them again for many reasons, personality differences, didn't feel the culture etc was for them etc.