DH dismissed from work

[user14792792]

Last month DH was sacked from his job for gross misconduct.
I am really worried we live in a very small town where everyone knows each other. I heard from a friend today that everyone is talking about why he was sacked and coming up with different theories.
I don't know how he will find another job if everyone is talking about him and giving him a bad reputation.

Was it a post about a political or social issue?

Well in that case, he needs to approach the HR department of his former employer and explain about these slanderous and/or libellous rumours. Tell the HR department that if they don't stop their employees spreading lies about him, then he will be reporting the matter to the police.

Yes, village type gossip just makes situations either worse or creates them out of nothing. I did live somewhere very gossipy and I did locum work (basically because it paid twice as much), so typically I would go away for 3-6 months come back and take a month off. The rumours were always that I got the sack!!!!! They just didn't like it as they didn't 'know' exactly where I worked etc. Similarly, when I kicked H out of my house, gossip was that I was being repossessed (I lived there about 10 yrs after, so would love to have the name of a mortgage company who let you live there for that long!!!!). However, yours is slightly different because the gossips also work for the company so I think DH needs to speak about this with HR to put a lid on this as they would appear to some to be speaking with 'knowledge' as they work there and so complaints could be made re these individuals. It might be worth looking at the contract to see if there is anything which would be in there for all contracts re confidentiality and also whether the people who are gossiping would have a position where confidentiality would be required - eg support staff in HR etc. I think in application for another job it is fine to say that you posted online etc and have learned from your mistake

It's hard to say as it depends a bit on why the company took such a hard line, was the post racist or homophobic? Have him block all social media down to just family, and apply for jobs in other towns. If he's honest and goes for something where social media posts wouldn't matter then he should be ok.

You’d have taken them to the cleaners - so many things wrong with that, I don’t know where to start.

This isn’t particularly sympathetic when you don’t know the particulars, but people getting fired for something they’ve posted on their personal social media accounts is increasingly happen. Doesn’t have to be particularly offensive either.

I thought this too, tbh.

OP, you didn't say that he posted about the company, just that he posted about a subject the company takes seriously. How bad was his post? Was it something really offensive ie/homophobic, racist, etc? If so, you'll need to be ready with a general response when people ask what it was that he posted that was so bad that it got him sacked.

I know I'm being cynical, but the fact you've been quite cagey about what he did suggests that he posted something fairly unpleasant. If so, that does make it a bit harder to repair his reputation locally.

Where do you live such that local gossip would prevent him finding future work? I live in a tiny village with a population of 125 but I don’t know where everybody works or know such information about everyone. It sounds like an odd place. Why doesn’t he apply for jobs further away.

My manager swore loads more than me during a formal 2 hour assessment yesterday. It's all about context isn't it? I work in a culture where swearing is completely normal and at local level meetings no one would bat an eye. It would also be understood in other meetings if used to express someone's frustration about a mistake they'd made. I doubt it's ok in director level meetings but I've never been to one so I couldn't say for sure.

Of course if aimed at someone and used in anger that's different and I fully appreciate in many settings any swearing wouldn't be ok but it's not a blanket thing.

So you have a screen shot of the post for evidence? And has he got his company on his facebook page? Did he mention the company or anyone who works there?
It's never a good idea to advertise where you work, mention your workplace or have work colleagues as friends or followers on social media. It maybe he could claim for unfair dismissal if he's not got any of the above on there.
A retail fashion company, that's now closed, once tried to fire my daughter and 2 friends because or a covert post she put in her own page. She didn't have on her page who she worked for and didn't mention anyone's name. The post couldve been about anyone but the 2 work colleagues replied with comments that made it more obvious. They fired the 2 colleagues but I support her and wrote a statement about the unprofessional behaviour of the manager texting she personal mobile outside of work that were inappropriate. So they had to extend her suspension until they investigated. During that time she got another job

If he posted something, then I assume the company must have taken a serious objection to it. That means he either slagged off his workplace (understandable in times of stress, but not advisable), posted something commercially sensitive and confidential, or posted something that politically the company does not want to be associated with.

Your town might be small.....but does your husband really only want to work in that town? That would leave him with a very small pool of potential employers if he was unwilling to travel.

Gross misconduct is bad no matter how you dress it up if it was a fair outcome.

Hopefully if it was fair your DH is now aware of what he dud wrong. If it was unfair, he has a right of appeal.

Good luck. Unfortunately we live in a cancel culture so whatever you did (or didn't do but have been accused of) means you don't deserve a second chance! I loathe tghe cancel culture it's madness.

@Aprilx Most of the people gossiping are people who work for the company or are previous employees of the company who DH has not worked with but still want to know everything going on.
I wouldn't say it's an odd place just full of people with very boring lives who love to gossip.
Looking for jobs further away will be difficult as DH has to use public transport and bus services have been cut severely here since covid so would find it difficult.

The post was regarding the company which they take very seriously, he knows he has done wrong and regrets it.

I am assuming he does have a contract and the reasons for gross misconduct are clearly explained ? Has he worked there for long ?

Unless your town is a tiny village and your husband was the vicar, I can't imagine his sacking is going to arouse much interest outside of his ex colleagues. I can imagine even less that rumours about him will spread to all employers with commuting distance. He might want to avoid his usual industry, but he won't be unemployable. People released from custodial sentences find jobs so I'm sure a SM indiscretion won't be a deal breaker everywhere. He will just need to extend the range of work he'll consider, take any job, then reapply for better jobs in time.

your Husband can contest his dismissal. If he is part of the union tell them what’s happened, if not, at his appeal he can bring to their attention the gossip- which will need to be investigated. You could go down the route of unfair dismissal as there wasn’t impartiality if people are gossiping about it now, they would’ve been whilst he was suspended. Good luck

I would tell the gossips, yes it’s sackable everyone knows you don’t slag the company off on social media but there’s worse offences. Then when you’ve told them ignore. Todays headlines are tomorrow’s cat litter liners. People in glass houses and all that.

I live in a village. Over a ten year period one neighbour was arrested for threatening to disclose personal information on a teacher and asked for money to keep quiet, she got a suspended prison sentence. Another worked in the local shop and was taking cash from the till. Both respectable families that most of us knew. No one thinks about it now.

it was huge gossip at the time.

you shouldn’t suffer for someone else’s sins, I feel for you. 💐

Ps. I guess your husband got copies of the handbook- social media policy and it policy- get him to put in a subject access request- I can send you templates if needed. They have 90 days to give you info

My work are quite strict with this I work for a well known company. If you have your work place in any social media they really go to town for it. In my old workplace it was a well known super market brand new store brand new staff. I was on a permanent contract and my friend was on a temporary one but after Xmas with potential to be permanent. She was doing every hour under the sun for them hundreds of overtime day and night never a moan. She wrote something on FB like 'all this overtime hoping I get a permanent contract 🤞🏼' and someone reported her. She got investigated for it aswell I felt so bad for her. Someone obviously grassed on her. I never even seen the post so was down as quick as it was up xxx

I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t get another job on that grounds again. (gross misconduct)

if I was an employer I wouldn’t touch someone doing that with a barge pole.

what did he post about his company? I assume it was extremely negative.

choices are
all of you move
he gets a job elsewhere and lives away Monday to Friday
moves to a completely different field
sets up their own business
works much lower down for a friend or someone willing to take a chance on him

unfortunately even if he moves away his digital footprint is everywhere.
has he removed all his social media?

A work colleague years ago burnt their bridges big time in the last two weeks and was a right horror to everyone they worked with at our place for the last few weeks. They weren’t dismissed and had a good track record. Unfortunately in the following three years pretty much all colleagues everywhere know they and what they did (they exploded a bomb everywhere all over their work and deleted all their work etc and with regard to colleagues they made their hateful feelings known to everyone) they turned down leaving gifts - sent it back with an f u. Recently they applied for a job in the same city - they didn’t even get an interview, and stupidly they didn’t consider this. They applied for a job in another city but colleagues had moved and there they were on interview. They were asked to leave by lunchtime.

As some have said, gross misconduct covers a lot of things, such as a misinterpreted comment, so it does all depend on what it was. Things people used to do years ago in good vein would now be looked upon as a serious offence. An example, teachers used to give kids lifts home, sat in front seat, take photos on own cameras on residentials to use for displays, now this would be completely unheard of. May be a case of old ways crossing into new rules, or of course sth more sinister. Without any more info no one can truly advise but whatever it was, you, and he, must both be very shaken up and stressed. The storm will calm, gossips thrive on creating worst case scenarios, it will blow over and there will be new dramas. An unprofessional aspect is anyone knowing why he was dismissed, yet not knowing the details so they try to imagine. Everyone makes mistakes, hoping it was just that so you can move forward, if he did something terrible deliberately then that's a different story of course. X

Ok to answer your question, that is definitely on the less serious end of the scale. I think bring apologetic and open with future employers wouldn't stop from getting another job.
Re gossip, I'd tell
Anyone who asks and the real ( not very exciting) story will absolutely soon be replaced by someone else.

Sorry, it's crap

I was sacked for gross misconduct unfairly imo but as I was only at the company a few months I couldn't appeal. However life does go on, I took the first job I could get with a massive pay cut (down to min wage) 5 years on I've now been promoted and on a decent wage. I'm not going to lie it was tough but things are now so much better and I'm in a job a love. Actually think they did me a favour tbh.
My advice is apply for everything and anything, temp work etc. He won't always need a reference from that company but will be a hard slog. I don't even put that company on my CV now.

Gross misconduct isn't always that serious. My nephew was sacked for gross misconduct from a well known supermarket. He put one foot outside his till cubicle to call back a member of the public back as they'd left their loyalty card behind.
Manager saw him and sacked him for gross misconduct (leaving the till unattended)! Nephew took them to court and won.
Some companies have ridiculous policies and ridiculous ways of implementing said policies.