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Original poster

DH dismissed from work

164 replies

user14792792 · 12/04/2023 19:35

Last month DH was sacked from his job for gross misconduct.
I am really worried we live in a very small town where everyone knows each other. I heard from a friend today that everyone is talking about why he was sacked and coming up with different theories.
I don't know how he will find another job if everyone is talking about him and giving him a bad reputation.

OP posts:
Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 12/04/2023 22:25

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone · 12/04/2023 21:43

I don't think OP will disclose what he has done on here

I agree. Seeing as people are apparently gossiping, it’s presumably something noteworthy.

Hell121 · 12/04/2023 22:28

Did he shag a goat on work premises or fiddle his expenses - there is a big difference

Somersetgirl1 · 12/04/2023 22:34

Hell121 · 12/04/2023 22:28

Did he shag a goat on work premises or fiddle his expenses - there is a big difference

😆😆

swimsong · 12/04/2023 22:37

SunshineGeorgie · 12/04/2023 19:44

Gross misconduct is not just a small mistake is it!?

It can not be a person's fault though. As an Oxfam shop manager I was threatened with a gross misconduct charge for my shop failing to meet the annual sales target set by the new power-tripping area manager.

Outerlimit · 12/04/2023 22:38

Hell121 · 12/04/2023 22:28

Did he shag a goat on work premises or fiddle his expenses - there is a big difference

To be fair, shagging a goat on work premises and claiming expenses for its purchase might blur the lines.

DojaPhat · 12/04/2023 22:51

What do goats eat? If it's a rural town I can imagine it wouldn't have been too costly to find some nice grass and grain.

Tallguy101 · 12/04/2023 23:10

swimsong · 12/04/2023 22:37

It can not be a person's fault though. As an Oxfam shop manager I was threatened with a gross misconduct charge for my shop failing to meet the annual sales target set by the new power-tripping area manager.

Show quote history

I would have loved to see that stick at an employment tribunal!

SD1978 · 12/04/2023 23:12

Does anyone gossiping in the village have anything at all to do with a new job he'd be applying for? How do they all know anyway, unless you or he has told someone? If someone else from the same company has told 'everyone' then I'd be putting in a complaint for breach of privacy. If you've told people without the facts and they've made them up, then that's on you guys.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/04/2023 23:13

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title

Sorry but it really isn't, and I honestly don't know why the additional myth of "that's all they can say" persists

It's true that some stick to that out of timidity, but from a legal POV employers can write more or less what they want in a reference providing it's true and doesn't contravene any legislation

OMGitsnotgood · 12/04/2023 23:17

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title

Whilst this is true of some companies, especially large corporates, it really isn't true of all

Sirius3030 · 12/04/2023 23:39

PuffinsRocks · 12/04/2023 20:22

Actually in some companies gross misconduct can be as silly as checking your phone during work time. And even in the examples you've outlined there's room for interpretation. Who decides what constitutes "insubordination", for example and what the threshold of proof is.

Show quote history

Exactly this. I was threatened with dismissal for gross misconduct through trying tactfully to discover why somebody was bad-mouthing me. In a consultancy-client relationship apparently this was threatening the company’s relationship with the client.

EpicChaos · 13/04/2023 00:06

@DojaPhat ·
What do goats eat?
I dunno but mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy!

😉 lol sorry, couldn't resist.

@user14792792 Was it your husband that was up for an investigation and possible dismissal for gross misconduct, a few weeks/months ago for harassing a female colleague?

This fella?

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prh47bridge · 13/04/2023 00:10

Hellocatshome · 12/04/2023 20:58

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title.

Yes this is true but there is normally 1 further question which is "would you employ this individual again?" And if there is a no to that it is normally game over.

I have rarely seen that question and most companies in my experience wouldn't answer it.

WilsonMilson · 13/04/2023 00:42

If the op isn’t going to tell us what her DH did, there’s not really much point in the thread, as none of us can advise without knowing what has actually transpired.

emptythelitterbox · 13/04/2023 01:25

You do realise you're going to have to give some hint to what he did.

If my DH was sacked for gross misconduct, that would be the end of the marriage too. I wouldn't want myself or any children around it.

LoisLane66 · 13/04/2023 02:11

This gives more specific info on what constitutes gross misconduct and more importantly, the paperwork which should be given to each employee when they start work, outlining what employers expect and what their rights are regarding dismissal and allegations against them. If the employer has not provided that paperwork and/or company handbook, they can be taken to a tribunal.

DH dismissed from work
Dibblydoodahdah · 13/04/2023 03:52

@emptythelitterbox a family member was sacked for gross misconduct because he made a mistake as he was exhausted due to working 20 hour days. He was being forced to work 20 hour days as he was covering two jobs after someone left and the employer couldn’t recruit for the vacant position. He challenged it and the company eventually agreed a settlement. You are deluded if you think that gross misconduct means that a person has done something really bad.

Pissingdownagain · 13/04/2023 04:11

This thread is really a very unpleasant read.

There are some supportive posts but it’s mostly MNetters desperate for gossip themselves, sticking the boot in or taking the piss over someone else’s misery. Plank of wood in your own eyes, eh?

Anyway OP, these things can and do happen. Hold your head up, you’ll come through it. Flowers

Herbiebanannas · 13/04/2023 04:14

emptythelitterbox · 13/04/2023 01:25

You do realise you're going to have to give some hint to what he did.

If my DH was sacked for gross misconduct, that would be the end of the marriage too. I wouldn't want myself or any children around it.

Richer or poorer? Better or worse? In sickness and in health?

Jesus. You would end a marriage because of something that occurred at work and which depending on the employment terms could actually be quite minor?

Your poor husband. Sound like he is purely there to provide and maintain an image.

User1794537 · 13/04/2023 04:21

We don't know what he did so so impossible to reply to thread with any advice

merrymelodies · 13/04/2023 05:42

Let them talk. Whatever he did or didn't do is none of their business.

potatowhale · 13/04/2023 06:31

Can he find a job elsewhere?

Twiglets1 · 13/04/2023 06:43

Surely he just applies for jobs further afield? Sounds like it would be healthier to consider moving anyway. The small town vibe sounds toxic.

GoTeamTired · 13/04/2023 06:45

Littleroseseverywhere · 12/04/2023 22:00

To be honest, I think the sacking for gross misconduct will be what’s makes it difficult to get another job Really.

This is rubbish and there is so much misinformation or catestrophing on this thread.

Most employers give dates only references . Op's husband can contact employer to ask what the wording of a reference is.

The threshold for a gross misconduct dismissal is dependent on the employer some fly by the seat of their pants, some follow ACAS guidance by the letter. We donr know if the dismissal was fair or not.

Twiglets1 · 13/04/2023 06:46

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/04/2023 23:13

Don't worry about references as all you get these days is dates if employment and job title

Sorry but it really isn't, and I honestly don't know why the additional myth of "that's all they can say" persists

It's true that some stick to that out of timidity, but from a legal POV employers can write more or less what they want in a reference providing it's true and doesn't contravene any legislation

That depends on where you work. My husband is a manager in the NHS and has been told by HR to only supply the most basic references confirming dates of employment but no personal comments.