Page 8 | Holiday grabbing colleagues

Allshallbewell2021 · 2023-04-01T18:42:33+00:00

I work with a team of people and we can't all be on holiday at the same time. Last year two collleagues put in for holiday over Easter with no acknowledgment of the impact on me, I still have a school aged child and one colleague has kids grown up so doesn't have to take Easter holidays. I have no problem with working it - I've taken a few days at the very end of the holidays when they have graciously returned; it's just the lack of courtesy, consideration or consultation. Or even thanks, just snooze you lose, screw you and your Easter. It just feels shitty and I feel disrespected - but I can't decide the value of saying anything as these two clearly don't give a crap so what would I achieve. But it's really eating me up. I don't mind the work at all, everyone has a right to a holiday - I just feel disrespected. Any way - thanks for the opportunity to vent!

Hawkins003 · 02/04/2023 23:35

Changingplace · 02/04/2023 23:14

Consideration for what? Your boss can’t possibly know whether or not you might want a particular week off, you’ve said you don’t even know yourself!

So you want your boss to either be a mind reader (although who’s mind she’s supposed to be even reading is a mystery when you don’t know the information), or for everyone to never book off any time ever just in case you might potentially want to book it off.

Ok then… 🤔

Show quote history

Depending on how big the team is, the ones that usually get Easter could say to the op, do you want this Easter off ect. Bit of good manners and consideration from others.

monsteramunch · 02/04/2023 23:40

@Hawkins003

Depending on how big the team is, the ones that usually get Easter could say to the op, do you want this Easter off ect. Bit of good manners and consideration from others.

But unless they wait until very close to the time, by OP's own admission she won't know whether she'll want specific dates off due to her husband's job.

So it wouldn't make it any more likely she'd get the dates she later wants.

Unless everyone waited until she knew the dates she wanted, which would be very unfair as they couldn't plan ahead / get the best prices etc.

Hawkins003 · 02/04/2023 23:44

monsteramunch · 02/04/2023 23:40

@Hawkins003

Depending on how big the team is, the ones that usually get Easter could say to the op, do you want this Easter off ect. Bit of good manners and consideration from others.

But unless they wait until very close to the time, by OP's own admission she won't know whether she'll want specific dates off due to her husband's job.

So it wouldn't make it any more likely she'd get the dates she later wants.

Unless everyone waited until she knew the dates she wanted, which would be very unfair as they couldn't plan ahead / get the best prices etc.

True but then they could take one for the team so to speak,

Lollipopsicle · 02/04/2023 23:54

Howmanysleepsnow · 02/04/2023 00:00

I get it. Either me or my colleague have to be in work. We both have kids. We’d spoken about Easter and I’d said I didn’t mind which week I had as long as I got one, and that she could book one then I’d take the other. She booked Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday of week one… and the same in week 2. She explained it was only one day over a weeks leave but that because we don’t work bank holidays it gave her a ten day break. I had the option to take 2 days off, 10 days apart. Next time, I’m getting in first!

You were most definitely screwed by your colleague there weren't you, especially as you'd had the discussion first? Did you say anything to her about it?

Mycathatesmecuddling · 03/04/2023 00:02

Hawkins003 · 02/04/2023 23:44

True but then they could take one for the team so to speak,

Show quote history

Are you honestly suggesting that someone who has booked holiday, maybe booked to go way or booked activities etc should be expected to cancel their booking a few weeks before just because the OP has suddenly decided she wants it off?

That's just madness

Besides there is an assumption here that the colleagues should realise that the OP definitely wants Easter off because she has children. But I've got a chunk of time off over Easter this year because actually only one of my colleagues with children wanted it, the rest preferring to save their holiday until the summer holidays. So why should the colleagues assume she wants a holiday period she hasn't actually booked?

Flounder2022 · 03/04/2023 00:05

There's 3 of us in work who can't take leave at the same time. We always consult each other, it makes for much better working relations. Sure, we could be everyone for themselves but then you lose the opportunity for a bit of give and take or for flexibility.

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:09

Mycathatesmecuddling · 03/04/2023 00:02

Are you honestly suggesting that someone who has booked holiday, maybe booked to go way or booked activities etc should be expected to cancel their booking a few weeks before just because the OP has suddenly decided she wants it off?

That's just madness

Besides there is an assumption here that the colleagues should realise that the OP definitely wants Easter off because she has children. But I've got a chunk of time off over Easter this year because actually only one of my colleagues with children wanted it, the rest preferring to save their holiday until the summer holidays. So why should the colleagues assume she wants a holiday period she hasn't actually booked?

Show quote history

Not as far as that, logically when they need to arrange the days, they could say to the op, do you want Easter this year, then the op can use Easter with or without her dh.

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:09

@Hawkins003

True but then they could take one for the team so to speak

At the expense of their finances? And of their loved ones who also wouldn't be able to book time at the same time, unless they leave out the person who has sacrificed their own ability to choose dates? It's wildly unfair to expect that.

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:11

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:09

@Hawkins003

True but then they could take one for the team so to speak

At the expense of their finances? And of their loved ones who also wouldn't be able to book time at the same time, unless they leave out the person who has sacrificed their own ability to choose dates? It's wildly unfair to expect that.

Not if they don't pre book anything first and if the other colleagues usually have Easter or summer they could share the dates with the op ?

Mycathatesmecuddling · 03/04/2023 00:13

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:09

Not as far as that, logically when they need to arrange the days, they could say to the op, do you want Easter this year, then the op can use Easter with or without her dh.

Show quote history

But the problem isnt that the OP cant book Easter. Its that she wont book Easter until close to the time and by then someone has already booked it. Theres absolutely nothing she has said that indicates if she tried to book Easter earlier in the year that she wouldnt get it.

What the OP seems to want is everyone to wait until she knows what holiday her DH can have and then she gets first dibs because she has children. And that's just ridiculous. Or for nobody to have holiday at Easter just in case she wants it.

Unfortunately the issue here is not her colleagues or the booking system, its the fact that her DH doesnt know when he can have holiday until the last minute. And that quite frankly is not her colleagues problem

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:14

@Hawkins003

Not if they don't pre book anything first and if the other colleagues usually have Easter or summer they could share the dates with the op ?

Even when she's said she never knows until closer to the time due to her husbands job, meaning she might not even want them in the end?

I think you're clutching at straws here. It's wildly unfair to expect them to hold off planning / booking) and prevent their loved ones from planning / booking as a result) just in case she wants to eventually.

Changingplace · 03/04/2023 00:14

Hawkins003 · 02/04/2023 23:35

Depending on how big the team is, the ones that usually get Easter could say to the op, do you want this Easter off ect. Bit of good manners and consideration from others.

Show quote history

The op literally doesn’t know if she wants Easter, or any other date off until right before so even if they did ask, she couldn’t tell them 🙃

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:16

Changingplace · 03/04/2023 00:14

The op literally doesn’t know if she wants Easter, or any other date off until right before so even if they did ask, she couldn’t tell them 🙃

Show quote history

In that case the op needs to say Easter is mine.

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:17

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:14

@Hawkins003

Not if they don't pre book anything first and if the other colleagues usually have Easter or summer they could share the dates with the op ?

Even when she's said she never knows until closer to the time due to her husbands job, meaning she might not even want them in the end?

I think you're clutching at straws here. It's wildly unfair to expect them to hold off planning / booking) and prevent their loved ones from planning / booking as a result) just in case she wants to eventually.

Fair points, then the op needs to say this year eg, Easter or summer on xxx, is mine

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:21

@Hawkins003

Fair points, then the op needs to say this year eg, Easter or summer on xxx, is mine

And then if it turns out she doesn't want those dates nearer the time? What then? Everyone else has missed out? I'm baffled anyone could think that's fair.

LordVoldemort86 · 03/04/2023 00:22

I don’t think for a single second that people should get priority because small children.

In my team however, many of us have small children, but some don’t. When a big holiday is approaching it is recognised that there are many competing interests. We have a discussion about it and work out cover as best we can. No one is given preference because children but it’s not deemed very fair to say “I booked it first” - I mean where do you draw the line?

it has worked well for us so far, anyway…

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:24

LordVoldemort86 · 03/04/2023 00:22

I don’t think for a single second that people should get priority because small children.

In my team however, many of us have small children, but some don’t. When a big holiday is approaching it is recognised that there are many competing interests. We have a discussion about it and work out cover as best we can. No one is given preference because children but it’s not deemed very fair to say “I booked it first” - I mean where do you draw the line?

it has worked well for us so far, anyway…

This could work if everyone sits down at the same time and is happy to talk through dates.

In OP's case though, she won't be able to know which dates she wants until later than everyone else.

So unless they all put off booking (and in the process prevent their loved ones from making plans / booking too) this isn't fair in the slightest on literally everyone else.

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:25

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:21

@Hawkins003

Fair points, then the op needs to say this year eg, Easter or summer on xxx, is mine

And then if it turns out she doesn't want those dates nearer the time? What then? Everyone else has missed out? I'm baffled anyone could think that's fair.

Then the op has to decided early on that those are the dates she wants and take the chance.

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:26

and once the days are locked in then they stay locked in.

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:27

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:26

and once the days are locked in then they stay locked in.

Then if she can't use them (so books alternative ones) then during those dates she'll be in the office with people who could have used them, would have liked to, and now can't.

I would be incredibly cross about that and imagine the atmosphere would be frosty to say the least.

It's such an unfair solution and would be very selfish of OP:

Mycathatesmecuddling · 03/04/2023 00:28

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:25

Then the op has to decided early on that those are the dates she wants and take the chance.

Show quote history

But theres literally no indication at all that the OP wouldnt be able to get Easter off if she was willing to book it, so this is a non issue from her workplaces perspective

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:33

Mycathatesmecuddling · 03/04/2023 00:28

But theres literally no indication at all that the OP wouldnt be able to get Easter off if she was willing to book it, so this is a non issue from her workplaces perspective

Show quote history

If I've read your response correctly, if she was at least willing to book the easter, early then it gives her a chance and it's nice of the colleagues to give the op, the option, even if then the company says no one can have Easter ect

BlueHeartMelody · 03/04/2023 00:33

@Allshallbewell2021 Is there a chance that your husband’s work schedule can be a big more fixed? It seems as though issues arise as his schedule seems unpredictable. Knowing when he has days off, would make it easier for you to apply in advance. Instead of taking a chance and then having to cancel. And if does happen to be off at a popular date, then it would make sense for your manager to hold off with the approvals and see who got it last time etc.

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:36

@Hawkins003

But theres literally no indication at all that the OP wouldnt be able to get Easter off if she was willing to book it

Yes there is.

I often don't know until February if my dh will be able to get away over Easter.

Hawkins003 · 03/04/2023 00:44

monsteramunch · 03/04/2023 00:36

@Hawkins003

But theres literally no indication at all that the OP wouldnt be able to get Easter off if she was willing to book it

Yes there is.

I often don't know until February if my dh will be able to get away over Easter.

Then with or without her dh, she needs to take Easter if she can.