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Original poster

Holiday grabbing colleagues

210 replies

Allshallbewell2021 · 01/04/2023 19:42

I work with a team of people and we can't all be on holiday at the same time. Last year two collleagues put in for holiday over Easter with no acknowledgment of the impact on me, I still have a school aged child and one colleague has kids grown up so doesn't have to take Easter holidays.
I have no problem with working it - I've taken a few days at the very end of the holidays when they have graciously returned; it's just the lack of courtesy, consideration or consultation. Or even thanks, just snooze you lose, screw you and your Easter.
It just feels shitty and I feel disrespected - but I can't decide the value of saying anything as these two clearly don't give a crap so what would I achieve. But it's really eating me up. I don't mind the work at all, everyone has a right to a holiday -
I just feel disrespected.
Any way - thanks for the opportunity to vent!

OP posts:
carpool · 01/04/2023 23:34

Before retirement I worked in a small team with a team leader who was in charge of holiday bookings for the team. This person also had a daughter who was part of our team and who had young children. Every year when the new holiday calendar came out the pair of them would carve up the entire year between them before anyone else even saw it. At the time my kids were grown up and I didn't yet have grandchildren so it didn't really bother me but I did wonder what would happen when all the 'oldies' left and new, probably younger staff joined.

Howmanysleepsnow · 02/04/2023 00:00

I get it. Either me or my colleague have to be in work. We both have kids. We’d spoken about Easter and I’d said I didn’t mind which week I had as long as I got one, and that she could book one then I’d take the other. She booked Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday of week one… and the same in week 2. She explained it was only one day over a weeks leave but that because we don’t work bank holidays it gave her a ten day break. I had the option to take 2 days off, 10 days apart. Next time, I’m getting in first!

LadyGAgain · 02/04/2023 00:01

Our a schools publish their holidays 18 months in advance. Get organised. We don't get the right to have school holiday times just because we have school aged kids. It's an opportunity for all people to take off 4 working days and be off for 8 (at Easter).

SkyandSurf · 02/04/2023 02:59

Speak to your manager and say that given you're working Easter this year you would like Christmas/next Easter off and then book it.

YABU- if it's a first come, first served system and you knew that then they booked it fair and square.

You say they didn't think about you, but maybe they did and thought 'If OP wanted Easter off she would have booked it already' and felt it was fine to book. It's not their job to arrange your holidays for you.

SD1978 · 02/04/2023 03:15

Why does anyone need to consider your personal situation, when they have their own reasons for wanting the leave at the same ti e? Unless you are constantly unable to access leave because the same people are always first, which I would have an issue with, they have absolutely no reason to consider you at all.

Sleepyandconfused · 02/04/2023 03:53

When booking holiday, I never take into account whether my colleagues might want the days off? That’s bizarre. I’d assume that if the days are available when I ask for them then it is because nobody else wants them considering they haven’t been taken. I’d not risk losing my desired days off by walking around the office asking all other employees whether they want to get in there first 😂 like you said - you snooze you lose! You need to be more organised with booking annual leave if you want your desired dates to still be available.

dudsville · 02/04/2023 04:01

Set the issue of the age of your kids aside. If holiday allotment isn't fair then this is an issue for management. You can't sort this out on your own. If management decide it's first come first served, then start planning ahead and get your future requests in.

dudsville · 02/04/2023 04:03

Ps, i don't have kids and i like to book leave around Bank Holidays to make the most of my time off. I'm not in your situation, i can book mine whenever i want, but i think my reasoning for my AL is valid too.

uggmum · 02/04/2023 04:27

When My dc were school age I was lucky to be able to use all my annual leave in the school holidays.

Now that they are older I take all my annual leave in term time. I have people in my team with school age children and I would prefer that they are able to book their annual leave in school holidays (if that is what they prefer)

DrMarciaFieldstone · 02/04/2023 04:37

Agree with PP’s, colleagues don’t have to ask permission from each other to book holidays, and the fact you have kids is irrelevant. I say this as a parent.

blebbleb · 02/04/2023 04:38

You snooze you lose. Just book earlier.

myheartmyhead · 02/04/2023 04:53

Team of 3 here
Still 1st come 1st served

SilverGlitterBaubles · 02/04/2023 04:56

Plan ahead. As soon as the leave requests are open for booking put your dates in around school holidays, you can always amend if your plans change.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 02/04/2023 04:59

Or even thanks, just snooze you lose, screw you and your Easter.

🤣 at the idea that people should thank their colleagues for allowing them to take holidays each time

Ponderingwindow · 02/04/2023 05:19

I would be annoyed with management, not your colleagues. Highly coveted leave days or weeks shouldn’t be first come first served. There should be some system in place to make sure everyone gets a chance at some of the coveted time slots throughout the year and across years.

that is everyone though. Having kids doesn’t really factor. There are many reasons someone would want that same time off.

FLDS · 02/04/2023 05:52

YANBU to be pissed off that you lost out. OTT to feel disrespected though.

HAF1119 · 02/04/2023 06:06

I was asked (pre children) to change my holiday because it fell in a school holiday and I didn't have children. The person was booking a month before and I had booked 4 months before. I said no with no apologies, I wouldn't have booked it if they had been organised and booked it when our hol year started, but I wanted to visit family (all planned and travel paid for) and use a period where bank hols fell to maximise the annual leave. Oddly enough I plan my holidays based on what works for me and wouldn't complain if they were taken, I don't hold off in case someone with children books them late...

You're unreasonable.

WhatTheHeckyPeck · 02/04/2023 06:48

I'm taking some A/L next week. My DD is now an adult and I'm going to visit and spend some time with her (she lives 4 hours away and I haven't seen her since New Year's Day). Somebody else's need to spend time with their DC who they see every day doesn't trump mine, As you said yourself OP, everyone has a right to a holiday and it's their right to book it for whichever date is available that suits them. It's not their problem that you can't organize yourself better.

TrashyPanda · 02/04/2023 07:07

Totally up to them when they take their leave

ComeOnNumber100 · 02/04/2023 07:08

I don’t discuss what holidays I want I just book it if it’s free. If someone else has got there before me, so be it.

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 07:30

Either you initiate a discussion as a team in advance of Easter being able to be booked about preferences or you book first.

Just because you have kids, doesn't give you first dibs on holidays.

Quveas · 02/04/2023 07:50

I wouldn't consult you either. To be honest it's you who is disrespecting people by (a) thinking that having children means your wants trump theirs and then whining because you didn't book your holidays soon enough and (b) assuming that people who haven't got children have no good reasons to book school holiday dates - such as, for example, going on holiday with members of the family who do, or child sitting for people who do, or just because they can get a longer break with the bank holidays.

Crumpetdisappointment · 02/04/2023 07:58

whether or not you have dc it is still a good time of year to take annual leave, with the bank holidays, etc,

Crumpetdisappointment · 02/04/2023 08:00

that was one of the reasons i have left a job, as i couldnt have easter sunday off, fully booked in january

BakewellGin1 · 02/04/2023 08:02

I'm currently Term Time only but prior to this I would book my years holidays in on 1st Sept (education based) when our system opened.

Beforehand I would download the School Term dates from our local councils website, see when any bank holidays fell to allow me to use least holidays for these (Easter is usually a good one with Bank Holidays which is why most aim for at least one of those weeks off)

Saved me the stress all year as i knew what was going on, could let those helping me with childcare know etc

I like to be planned and organised well in advance though