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Original poster

Holiday grabbing colleagues

210 replies

Allshallbewell2021 · 01/04/2023 19:42

I work with a team of people and we can't all be on holiday at the same time. Last year two collleagues put in for holiday over Easter with no acknowledgment of the impact on me, I still have a school aged child and one colleague has kids grown up so doesn't have to take Easter holidays.
I have no problem with working it - I've taken a few days at the very end of the holidays when they have graciously returned; it's just the lack of courtesy, consideration or consultation. Or even thanks, just snooze you lose, screw you and your Easter.
It just feels shitty and I feel disrespected - but I can't decide the value of saying anything as these two clearly don't give a crap so what would I achieve. But it's really eating me up. I don't mind the work at all, everyone has a right to a holiday -
I just feel disrespected.
Any way - thanks for the opportunity to vent!

OP posts:
KateFeather · 02/04/2023 13:44

I put all my holidays in at the start of the year and it is first come first served where I work.
I don't consider school holidays or re people with school age kids. If I did id need to avoid about 14 weeks of the year including summer. everyone has the same chance to book as I do.
The only exception is Christmas where we work that differently, eg if too many people want it off we look at who had it last year.

rwalker · 02/04/2023 13:55

I find OP attitude far worse than anything the colleagues have done

1offnamechange · 02/04/2023 13:56

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 10:57

Thank you for your post MrsAvocet - I wish my manager had even a bit of your integrity.

'First come, first served' is not a win for everyone in a group; but that is a really strong mentality on this thread.

but first come first served IS usually the fairest way of doing things - as long as everyone is given an equal opportunity to be 'first' - i.e. they don't open up bookings on a monday when some staff don't start until wednesday.

It's great that MrsAvocet managed something a bit different but the key info from her post is a)they were a small department - lots harder to talk it through when there are a large amount of people booking leave and b) people wanted different things - i.e. some staff were happy to let her have her days off because they wanted february etc. If everyone in your team wants the same days off, you are never going to get a solution that keeps everyone happy.

Even if you say 'right, 2 weeks off at easter, 2 are bank holidays so 8 divided by 4, we each get 2 days off, can't say fairer than that!' nobody would be able to go on a week's holiday. Or the people who got the days bordering the weekends would get a better deal.

TedMullins · 02/04/2023 13:59

I get this is annoying for you but I don’t know why you expect them to care? None of this is their problem. Your partner needs to sort his unpredictable work schedule to make things easier for you to book in advance, that’s not an issue to put on your colleagues.

PleaseJustText · 02/04/2023 14:07

I don't see why they should wait until your DH knows what he's doing with his annual leave. Less than half of our team are parents to young children so it's not as competitive but we do ask them about school holidays before booking. They wouldn't expect us to put our plans on hold while they decide though, it's either a yes or no.

As for a "thank you for holding the fort", why would they need to thank you for allowing them to use the annual leave they're entitled to?

Blanketpolicy · 02/04/2023 14:12

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 11:17

Because my family circumstances make my holidays far less predictable. I often don't know until February if my dh will be able to get away over Easter.
But you must mean I book ahead regardless dog in the manger style?

It is unfortunate for you your dh's work is unpredictable, but surely you can see that is you and your dh's issue and cannot dictate holiday booking polices in your workplace. You cannot expect everyone to hold off booking holidays in your workplace until your dhs workplace gets their act in order.

It is your dhs workplace that needs to make a change, not yours.

FredaFox · 02/04/2023 14:13

rwalker · 02/04/2023 13:55

I find OP attitude far worse than anything the colleagues have done

I was going to say this ^

To add, I used to work somewhere where all those with kids got first dibs on holiday
As a childless 20 something I was stuck with what's left and missed out on going away with friends because I couldn't get the school holidays off like them (2 mates were teachers)
So now I feel first come first served is fair.

Ladysaurus · 02/04/2023 14:30

Struggling to understand your family circumstances are your colleagues problem.

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 14:32

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 11:17

Because my family circumstances make my holidays far less predictable. I often don't know until February if my dh will be able to get away over Easter.
But you must mean I book ahead regardless dog in the manger style?

But OP, that then isn't fair on others with a fixed schedule if they waited until you knew and could book. You need to make a best guess and book as soon as you can.

Miajk · 02/04/2023 14:36

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 10:47

No I am here. One of these colleagues is my boss and I think in small teams you should as a manager demonstrate fairness. Clearly some people have similar experiences. Our actions have an impact on others is all I'm saying. Just a thank you for holding the fort is all I would have appreciated. I'm not talking about rights I'm talking about courtesy. I never treat my colleagues with contempt - how can you work in teams with that attitude? Also some of us can't book in advance as our partners have unpredictable work schedules.
It's useful to hear how the majority think.

It shouldn't be first come first served, best to manage it reviewing on a wider scale who has time off when.

Your attitude seems awful though - people are entitled to take time off and shouldn't have to thank their coworkers. Also bringing up the fact you have kids and another colleague's kids are grown so they "don't need to take Easter holidays off" is pretty bonkers. Who made you the judge of deciding who needs to take when off?

Sandwidged · 02/04/2023 14:46

Be quicker booking ahead next year

Redglitter · 02/04/2023 14:51

Just a thank you for holding the fort is all I would have appreciated

Why would they thank you for turning up to work while they're on leave. Noone does that

UsingChangeofName · 02/04/2023 17:19

mybeautifuloak · 02/04/2023 13:15

What are you suggesting? That no one in the firm book anything because you can't commit more than a couple of months ahead? Yeah that's ridiculous. Other people have to plan their lives. They need to book flights, accommodation, factor in partners etc. do you seriously think because you can't book ahead, the whole company should not ?

Show quote history

This.

I had sympathy from your first post, but you can't seriously be suggesting that none of your colleagues are allowed to commit to their holiday arrangements, because your dh has an 'unpredictable work schedule' ? Hmm

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 02/04/2023 17:28

I have to request my annual leave that I really want a year in advance! For instance my holidays go April to April, so for this year I requested them last October/November.

Other odd days annual leave I have to book in if they are available.

Your husbands work schedule has nothing to do with your colleagues

FredaFox · 02/04/2023 17:35

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 02/04/2023 17:28

I have to request my annual leave that I really want a year in advance! For instance my holidays go April to April, so for this year I requested them last October/November.

Other odd days annual leave I have to book in if they are available.

Your husbands work schedule has nothing to do with your colleagues

Exactly this but the op wants you to wait until February in case her husband can get the time off meaning she takes president over anyone else and should she not want it and she lets you take it, you then pay more as you couldn't book early and make savings

What an entitled world we live in

ComeOnNumber100 · 02/04/2023 18:06

My DH has to put in for the leave he wants for the next holiday year (starting April) in October. My leave can’t be booked until January so I get my request in as soon as I can so we have the same weeks. Selfishly I don’t discuss it, never have, I just send my request to planning. If I ask everyone else what do you suggest I do when my colleague says that they want the same two weeks as me?

Original poster
Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:23

Sorry, I shouldn't have posted this. I understand what everyone's saying. I don't have any problem with them taking it, I don't want them to wait, it's just my boss should be the one overseeing a fair share regardless and she is the worst at putting herself first. I don't think they don't have the right, and first come first serve is the system; I simply object to her lack of consideration. It's just my opinion, it was naive of me to expect more from my boss.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 02/04/2023 20:33

Things were getting out of hand at my work with how far in advance people were trying to book things.

Our leave period starts on April 1 so about Aug the previous year we get asked to let one line manager know what we'd ideally like in terms of spring summer and winter leave periods. We have 2 weeks to submit our requests. They then look at & provisionally put through the ones with no issues.

If you ask for a popular time with too many people then you get told who all wants it & how many slots are available to see if we can sort it out. If not they go back to previous years to see who in the problem period got their first choice etc

It sounds really complex but it works. Last year I gave up the summer period I wanted and took something else. This year I was got my first summer choice despite it being over subscribed again

It also stops the same people hogging the same popular weeks all the time

Original poster
Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:34

Redglitter; I think that sounds really civilized.

OP posts:
Hawkins003 · 02/04/2023 20:34

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:23

Sorry, I shouldn't have posted this. I understand what everyone's saying. I don't have any problem with them taking it, I don't want them to wait, it's just my boss should be the one overseeing a fair share regardless and she is the worst at putting herself first. I don't think they don't have the right, and first come first serve is the system; I simply object to her lack of consideration. It's just my opinion, it was naive of me to expect more from my boss.

I can understand your perspectives and frustrations, it's a mix at times in an ideal world Co workers would be more considerate of those with children, but then as you know with some people they then argue that just because you have kids ect.

All the best op

Original poster
Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:45

Thanks Hawkins for your kind words. There are loads of other factors which have led to me feeling really fed up at work & going into next week when everyone will disappear saying "happy holidays" and I'm very low, my tank is empty and I will have to get through it when I've just run out of morale and steam. I get it - I've done it many times - this year just feels harder than before.

OP posts:
rwalker · 02/04/2023 22:06

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:23

Sorry, I shouldn't have posted this. I understand what everyone's saying. I don't have any problem with them taking it, I don't want them to wait, it's just my boss should be the one overseeing a fair share regardless and she is the worst at putting herself first. I don't think they don't have the right, and first come first serve is the system; I simply object to her lack of consideration. It's just my opinion, it was naive of me to expect more from my boss.

What an earth can she do refuse leave they request on the off chance you put in a request for some
you’ve shifted from blaming them because you’ve had your areas handed to you and now trying to blame your boss

monsteramunch · 02/04/2023 22:12

But if others request holiday dates before you know which you'll be asking for, what else can your manager do other than say yes to the others?

She can't say "well it's fine on paper but I won't approve it until @Allshallbewell2021 lets me know if she'd like the same dates and I don't know when she'll be able to confirm that"?

How can she take you into consideration when she's looking at other people's requested dates, if you haven't let her know which dates you'll also be requesting?

Hawkins003 · 02/04/2023 22:45

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:45

Thanks Hawkins for your kind words. There are loads of other factors which have led to me feeling really fed up at work & going into next week when everyone will disappear saying "happy holidays" and I'm very low, my tank is empty and I will have to get through it when I've just run out of morale and steam. I get it - I've done it many times - this year just feels harder than before.

I guess then it's try to do best in what you do, and as long as you can pay the bills etc, and provide for your family, that's the main purpose, then try to have family time as and when possible.

Changingplace · 02/04/2023 23:14

Allshallbewell2021 · 02/04/2023 20:23

Sorry, I shouldn't have posted this. I understand what everyone's saying. I don't have any problem with them taking it, I don't want them to wait, it's just my boss should be the one overseeing a fair share regardless and she is the worst at putting herself first. I don't think they don't have the right, and first come first serve is the system; I simply object to her lack of consideration. It's just my opinion, it was naive of me to expect more from my boss.

Consideration for what? Your boss can’t possibly know whether or not you might want a particular week off, you’ve said you don’t even know yourself!

So you want your boss to either be a mind reader (although who’s mind she’s supposed to be even reading is a mystery when you don’t know the information), or for everyone to never book off any time ever just in case you might potentially want to book it off.

Ok then… 🤔