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Original poster

Holiday grabbing colleagues

210 replies

Allshallbewell2021 · 01/04/2023 19:42

I work with a team of people and we can't all be on holiday at the same time. Last year two collleagues put in for holiday over Easter with no acknowledgment of the impact on me, I still have a school aged child and one colleague has kids grown up so doesn't have to take Easter holidays.
I have no problem with working it - I've taken a few days at the very end of the holidays when they have graciously returned; it's just the lack of courtesy, consideration or consultation. Or even thanks, just snooze you lose, screw you and your Easter.
It just feels shitty and I feel disrespected - but I can't decide the value of saying anything as these two clearly don't give a crap so what would I achieve. But it's really eating me up. I don't mind the work at all, everyone has a right to a holiday -
I just feel disrespected.
Any way - thanks for the opportunity to vent!

OP posts:
ThatsGoingToHurt · 01/04/2023 21:31

YABU. Presumably your child free colleague or colleagues with grown up children haven’t monopolised all 13 weeks of the school holidays. You don't know why they have booked those dates.

A couple of years ago a colleague agressively confronted me in the corridor demanding to know why I had holiday booked for October half term as my DC were at nursery not school. I explained that we were going on holiday with relatives who worked in a school so we couldn’t book another week off. There was no mention of that I hadn’t taken any time off during the summer holidays, Easter holiday or any of the other half terms.

Decades ago my dad was told he shouldn’t request any time off over Christmas not even a single day as his child was grown up so he didn’t need it. He worked in retail and the only day the shop was shut was Christmas Day. Apparently it was completely unreasonable for him to want a day or two holiday during the two week Christmas holiday to spend some time with his 18 year old daughter who had just completed her first term of university and it was his first Christmas after being widowed. .

didsburymanchester · 01/04/2023 21:35

You can't be discriminated against because you don't have children. You need to book first or follow the guidelines.

Rainbowqueeen · 01/04/2023 21:38

There’s 13 weeks of school holidays. Why would they assume that you would want Easter off when you only have 4 weeks AL?

They haven’t been inconsiderate of you. Just learn from this and get in early

Womencanlift · 01/04/2023 21:41

I don’t miss working in teams like this at all. Luckily my role now doesn’t impact anyone directly so I can book holidays as and when I need/want them

But that wasn’t always the case. I remember having a (very new to role) manager who was pressured by the mums in the team that Christmas holidays should only be given to those with kids. I asked him to reconsider as most of us didn’t have kids but still had families we wanted to spend the holiday period with. He said he didn’t want to rock the boat since he had just been promoted to manager. I think the call I then made to HR definitely rocked the boat but I didn’t care one bit and actually the majority of the team, who also didn’t have kids, backed me up. Names eventually went into a hat which was the fairest way to do it

Redglitter · 01/04/2023 21:45

If I'm booking annual leave I book what suits me. I dont ask around to see if it impacts my colleagues. Sorry but first come, first served. You want it? Get in first to book it

DinaFox · 01/04/2023 21:47

It might surprise you to learn that you're not their first consideration when they are arranging their lives and holidays.

Mycathatesmecuddling · 01/04/2023 21:51

So your colleagues aren't holiday grabbing they just didn't wait long enough for you to decide when you were going to book holiday the one year they both happened to want Easter off?

So you literally expect your two colleagues to wait around for you to decided what you want off before they book their holiday?

They probably didn't acknowledge the impact on you because it didn't occur to them that you had wanted it off given you hadn't booked it off.

Do you ever consider the impact of the holiday you have off? Or is it just people with child aged children who get to book what they like whilst everyone else is expected to 'respect' them.

RecordPlayer · 01/04/2023 21:53

I'm a teacher, and my husband has always booked school holidays off so that we can actually holiday or spend time together. I can't book random weeks off!

SpecialControlGroup · 01/04/2023 21:54

Last year two collleagues put in for holiday over Easter with no acknowledgment of the impact on me,

it's just the lack of courtesy, consideration or consultation. Or even thanks, just snooze you lose, screw you and your Easter.

Do you consider or acknowledge the impact all of your holiday choices have on your colleagues? Or do you assume that somehow having children makes you special and worthy of extra consideration and consultation?

Newsflash, it really doesn't. When it comes to work you are all equal and why someone wants holiday is not really relevant. So it really does come down to you snooze you lose, which is absolutely how it should be

1offnamechange · 01/04/2023 21:56

YABU to feel you have some sort of greater entitlement to Easter (or any other) holidays because you have a child! If you need specific days off, organise yourself and get in there asap and book them. If not why on earth should they thank or acknowledge you in any way for working days you haven't booked off, ffs? i.e. just....doing your job!
The only thing you're vaguely right about is that it wouldn't be worth saying anything - because it would make you look like a loon and wouldn't improve your working relationship

Tromso · 01/04/2023 21:58

Oh, OP. This really backfired on you, didn't it?

Scienceadvisory · 01/04/2023 22:00

TokyoSushi · 01/04/2023 20:10

This has happened to me this year, 3 colleagues approachig retirement 'fancied Easter off' so now I have 2 weeks of childcare to juggle. I know everybody has the same rights but its annoying all the same...

I've just booked a holiday for next Easter!

Unless you have 13 weeks of annual leave then surely you were going to have to find childcare for the school holidays at some point?
What I find annoying is colleagues with children thinking they should get special treatment and the rest of us should wait until they've decided what leave they want.

Mycathatesmecuddling · 01/04/2023 22:00

Tromso · 01/04/2023 21:58

Oh, OP. This really backfired on you, didn't it?

In fairness its literally the first time ever I've seen this type of thread go this way on MN

Normally its all 'parents are having children to wipe your childless old age bums so we should get first crack at the holidays' so this is a pleasant suprise

RaininSummer · 01/04/2023 22:04

Don't assume that people with grown kids don't need the school holidays off sometimes. I have this issue at work as the holidays are booked a year ahead by parents. This means I rarely get to see my daughters or granddaughters or go on holiday with them unless we plan incredibly early.

Siepie · 01/04/2023 22:07

My DC are below school age. I know that schools generally have 2 weeks off around Easter, but not the exact dates for the local schools, and I'm not going to start looking them up just to take a day off to see family.

FebruaryPosting · 01/04/2023 22:11

Pre-child, in January, I would always say to colleagues ‘I’m going to book my holiday in 4 months’ to give everyone with children the chance to book it off. They never did. So I booked it.
Same at Christmas, I would give

FebruaryPosting · 01/04/2023 22:12

Gaaaaah, posted too too!

was going to say, same at Christmas, would give them 6 months notice, but if they hadn’t booked it by then it was fair game.

FebruaryPosting · 01/04/2023 22:13

Too soon! 🙈

Spectre8 · 01/04/2023 22:20

You choose to have kids, why should everyone else have to revolve their life and annual leave around your kids needs.. talk about entitled!

Do you ever consider they might want time off over Easter but you want to monopolise it just cos you have a kid, maybe they should feel just as disrespected too.

Honestly this is why people get pissed off with parents, think they are above everyone and everyone should revolve around them and there kid.

Oblomov23 · 01/04/2023 22:27

Your whole attitude is wierd. Get your dates ready, so As soon as the holiday calendar opens, yours are submitted. Simple.

shelbaba · 01/04/2023 22:37

Well I'd make sure I get in their first every bloody time if that's the way they want to play it.

Anywhere I've worked though, if cover is needed at Christmas, Easter etc then u have to take turns. A manager shld be implementing that so it's fair on everyone.

SkunkFiles · 01/04/2023 22:39

Why do you think your colleagues should arrange their annual leave around the fact that you have school age children? 😂

GirlOfTudor · 01/04/2023 22:47

Why do your colleagues need to consult you before booking their annual leave?
Does every employee need to consult all colleagues with children before booking leave?
Ridiculous

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/04/2023 22:47

I've worked in education for nearly 30 years. I don't need to be around for my kids anymore during the school holidays but DH (who can take leave whenever) would obviously like to have his leave the same time as me so he is stuck to school holiday times too. Our wedding anniversary also falls during the school holidays (as that's the only time we could get married because of school), and my birthday happens to be during one of the half terms too. What are we supposed to do? I would love to be off during term time and be able to go on much cheaper quieter holidays. But it is what it is. If you all want the school holidays you will just have to all plan ahead and share them out fairly.

Lizzt2007 · 01/04/2023 22:57

My child is grown up too, but I still book leave on school holidays because not only does my partner work in education, but I look after my grandson to help his parents out with holiday childcare.

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