Work’s Christmas party disaster! Did I act inappropriately?

[Disinterestedx]

Hi everyone,

Firstly, a bit of background info: I’m new out of university and have been working for a great small company for a few months. The job is quite junior really, not very well paid for a graduate, and I’m probably overqualified for it. However, the company is good, my manager is nice, the job is easy and stress-free, and the management are obviously happy with me and actually nominated me “employee of the month” recently. I also generally get on with people at my work and have made friends.

Anyway, I went to the Christmas party yesterday which, for the most part, was very good. I don’t drink much so I was very sober compared to most people! My boyfriend also came along for the latter part of the night. Anyway, at 2am in the morning, this man in his 50s/60s comes up to me, stands really uncomfortably close to me, with his face practically touching mine, his hand touching my back etc. My boyfriend is mouthing “are you okay?” because he sees that I look uncomfortable. Anyway, this man says that he’s the Chair of the Board of Directors and that he’s very important, etc. He asks me who I am and what I do. He then starts interrogating me about my job, its value, whether I’ll be able to cope as the company expands and grows, etc., he starts belittling me, saying, “What even IS your background?”. When I say that I’m an Oxford graduate, he says “that’s irrelevant”. He starts asking me questions that don’t even relate to my job role and chuckling when I don’t answer in the way he wants. It starts to feel like a really unpleasant job interview and his face is centimeters from mine. I feel like I’m going to burst into tears and rush to the toilet. When I come out, I’m shaking with anger. My boyfriend tries to calm me down but I then go up to him and say, “Learn some manners, mate - there’s a time and place”, and then give him a patronizing slap on the back. It made me feel a lot better, but I’m now wondering about whether there’ll be any repercussions.

Do you think I acted inappropriately, or was I in my rights to assert my boundaries?

I know that sad little people do make things up on Mumsnet, but I don't really understand what's so surprising about an older colleague being a letch to a young woman and said woman saying something back to him. Every time I've posted something I've had the same response myself - 'Nah, I don't believe this one' - for really quite mundane events. I think it's a quick and easy way for some people to inflate their own egos by attempting to show how superior their deduction skills are, or else they're just trolls themselves. Anyway, even if the OP were making it up for some weird reason, responses can help people reading who are having to deal with the same kinds of problems in their lives.

Sounds like a fairly tame office party.
I've seen fights, between men, between women, between men and women.
People shaging, in cupboards, in offices, in the car park.
Lots of 'truths' told to bosses.
People throwing up anywhere, bins, bathrooms, corridors etc.
Next day...business as usual.

What does anyone who makes up stuff on the internet gain from it?

I'm sure there are lots of studies addressing that question. Asking that isnt going to make anyone believe you, its not an indicator of being genuine

I'm not accusing you of making anything up, I see the same question posted often when someone is being questioned on the truthfulness of their posts and I don't really understand why

Sorry OP, its just the clap on the back - it doesn't fit at all with how you described yourself at the beginning of the post. Unless you had a line of coke in the loo 🤣

Don't sweat on it OP. If he tries to force you out, seek legal advice. I doubt very much that there will be any repercussions as a) if he has any shame he'll be deeply embarrassed, or 2) he'll realise that if he tries to persecute you it could be the end of him professionally, or even 3) he won't remember it.

I'm not of the modern school of thought where every single bit of flirtation is sexual harassment, and a drunken clumsy effort should see a persons reputation and career ended. But there is something seriously gross about a "director" or senior and older person being drunk and acting entitled, creepy and intimidating to younger female staff who are frightened for their jobs. The right way to behave is to join in the fun, have a laugh and send a bottle of bubbly over to their table and let the staff enjoy their night.

Sorry you had to put up with this OP.