To be shit scared I'll loose my job

[SunshineInCorwall]

We have a first come, first served for Christmas and if you work one Christmas Day you get the next off. Most of our team have children under 8.

This year its my turn to work. Howver, that every other Christmas I've been due to work recently, there has been some emergency and I've had to call in a day or so nefore Christmas. Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!

Just overheard two colleagues seriously talking about whether they "take the hit now" and offer to swap with me now or which one will be on call to cover me over Christmas, so they can manage expectations for their kids, they seemed really worried as noth have had to step in on a previous Christmas. Our team leader also overheard and just said to them that she's "aware" and will move heaven and to protect their break. (she's already working running the whole dept over Christmas so won't see her children at all, so not sure what that means)

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do? My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

Whenever I’ve worked Christmas Day we just did ‘Christmas’ on a different day.

DS would still have his stocking from FC but we’d do the other stuff the day before or after.

See what you can do?? You go to work and stop ruining other people's Christmases!!

How many have you actually avoided and what is the relevance of DH being ill, he's an adult, he'd just have to manage.

... and that's quite the drip feed, OP.

Your lack of remorse for this impact on your colleagues is quite remarkable. No wonder they don't trust you. Even in your later posts you are talking about your reputation and not anything else. Teamwork is important, OP. You better start showing it.

I'm stepping away now. I got it, I'm a shit colleague, but not intentionally and I'm very well liked usually, this is why I'm in such shock that anyone would talk about me like this.

Thank you to those who took the time to try and see the different perspectives.

Your colleagues have sussed you.

as has your manager.

they have all been talking about how you keep pulling the same stunt. Because they are pissed off.

nobody is going to swap with you, because they are fed up with the excuses.

just do the job you are paid to do

Absolutely. Your dh can just babysit the children, no big event that he is unable to cope with, and do Christmas on your next day off.

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

What do you mean?

Surely if your mum is staying that's back up enough?

Or do you mean how to salvage your reputation with your work colleagues?

This is insane. You want people to not have Xmas with their family because your husband is useless. He should stop being an arsehole

@SunshineInCorwall do what you can to make sure you work this year and next year make it clear you are willing to come in if others are sick. This will do a lot to repair your reputation. As you can see from this thread how you have behaved in the past has had a big impact on your colleagues. I understand it is difficult when your DH has depression but as your children get older it will be easier for him to cope with them. Also if he is put in the position where he has to cope he will. I say this as someone with a long term depressive illness.

There certainly will be concerns about your performance. There is no 'if' about it. I would think your manager and colleagues have little to zero time for you.

And now you say the children's grandmother is available if requested. Have you ever wondered how single parents with no family support manage?

I don't understand why you didn't call in family support earlier rather than spoil colleagues' day. You're incredibly self absorbed and your manager is clearly aware that you put your own family ahead of doing the decent thing to the detriment of other families.

You're a selfish colleague and only thinking of yourself. Show some respect for your colleagues.

OK I've got C-PTSD, depression and GAD..... Mental health is shit but it's my shit and I do my upmost to ensure my family are not impacted by me. I get overwhelmed so easily as well but its Christmas, everyone does. He doesn't need to dinner, order a takeaway.

He needs to step up tbh for his children, that should be his motivation.

The bar for not turning up for a shift on Christmas day is very high - I actually can't imagine not doing your Christmas shift short of a very serious (death or hospitalisation) situation.

Are you saying that your dh is unable to be left alone with the dc? If so, then you definitely need back up from another family member or something like an emergency nanny. But many people with depression can and do care for their own dc.

You're kidding yourself. Nobody likes piss-takers, OP. Your colleagues have children also and you've put your own selfish wants above your colleagues seeing their children over Christmas.

Just do your bloody job - or don't - but you will not be getting away with this any more and I'm glad your manager is standing up for your colleagues.

Step away from the thread by all means, I doubt you'll have any supporters on it any more than you do at work.

I'm stepping away now
Thank you to those who took the time to try and see the different perspectives.

No thanks for those who told you to get on with it and go into work then? Which was most people.

If you have dropped your colleagues in the shit on multiple previous christmasses, I suspect you may not be so well liked!

I'm actually shocked you would think this was ok.

My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Why didn't you just say he has depression and is unable to care for an ill child on Christmas Day. This isn't "life", this is a situation where you need to get support because from what you've said, your DH isn't going to cope this Christmas, if he hasn't previously.

I'm very well liked usually

At least, you thought you were.
I cannot believe your sense of entitlement - I'm so glad I don't work with you.

Get yourself to bloody work, end of! Well liked? I doubt it. Pain in the arse more like!! Christ, imagine if all your colleagues were like you??

As someone who works in a 365 service and has done my fair share of Christmas days I find your attitude disgraceful. I don't think it's the job for you if "life happens" every Christmas. You are not a team player and thankfully your cards have been marked. Please don't make your manager aware, whatever that means. Just do your job. Or leave.

I'm sure he'd manage if OP were hospitalised..... Like the majority of people with MH. Sometimes we just need to put the mask on and get on with it, for the children.

Does your husband look after the kids other days when you're at work?

Depression - he can't work and big days and events can be overwhelming. But he's a great dad with support

How severe is the depression? How long has he had it? Does he go to therapy every week and work towards getting better? If not then he’s not helping you or his dc.

Not working will (probably has) worsened his depression. If the idea of big days and events overwhelms him, then he might have some other mental illness.

You have to work on Christmas. Your colleagues have covered you in the past. You’re taking the piss.