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Original poster

To be shit scared I'll loose my job

331 replies

SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 16:07

We have a first come, first served for Christmas and if you work one Christmas Day you get the next off. Most of our team have children under 8.

This year its my turn to work. Howver, that every other Christmas I've been due to work recently, there has been some emergency and I've had to call in a day or so nefore Christmas. Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!

Just overheard two colleagues seriously talking about whether they "take the hit now" and offer to swap with me now or which one will be on call to cover me over Christmas, so they can manage expectations for their kids, they seemed really worried as noth have had to step in on a previous Christmas. Our team leader also overheard and just said to them that she's "aware" and will move heaven and to protect their break. (she's already working running the whole dept over Christmas so won't see her children at all, so not sure what that means)

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do? My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/12/2022 17:44

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

It's a wild thought but can you not just do your job?

Dreamwhisper · 09/12/2022 17:44

OP are you okay?

I'm a bit worried about how much you have to do to avoid your DH being alone with your DC.

EmilyGilmoresSass · 09/12/2022 17:44

Actually I'll take it further. I hope you get sacked for gross misconduct.

chipsandpeas · 09/12/2022 17:45

what the fuck, you have a fully grown adult in your husband why do you need your mother to come and help

Hooverphobe · 09/12/2022 17:45

Please don’t drag your mum into this sorry affair.

let the kids open their presents before you go to work - let the lump slam a pizza in the oven and make a martyr of yourself Boxing Day if you must.

the world won’t stop turning if his master doesn’t get fowl for lunch.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/12/2022 17:45

Fair play to the OP for coming back to the thread.

Dude, you NEED to go to work.

Or quit.

Those are your options.

Littlemissprosecco · 09/12/2022 17:46

I think you’ve got the message OP, time to put things right! Offer to do some extra. You say you can get your mum in, do some extra shifts, explain to the kids that other kids missed out on their parents in previous years. Then make the time you do have together really count

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/12/2022 17:47

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

Go to work! That’s what you can do. Stop making up bullshit excuses that conveniently mean oh dearie me wide-eyed look of SHOCKED innocence I’m awfully sorry that I can’t work my shift on Christmas Day because DH sneezed seven weeks ago and you know real life!

Do you honestly think that your colleagues haven’t seen straight through you?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/12/2022 17:47

SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 17:40

Thank you everyone, I can see how this is damaging my reputation, especially as I have never previously offered or agreed to swap shifts at Christmas to others.

I'm going to ask my mum to stay over Christmas to help out if needed.

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

And just to be clear I would NEVER use COVID as an excuse.

Talk to your boss? About what? Just go to work

MuckyPlucky · 09/12/2022 17:49

So we’ve got a flakey DH and a flakey employee (OP).

As my Nan would’ve said: “it’s a good job they don’t spoil a pair” 🙄

Beancounter1 · 09/12/2022 17:50

Perhaps you could explain in a little more detail exactly why your DH is unable to cope on his own and parent his own children? I mean there must be something very wrong if you feel that you have to call your mother in.

Is he disabled or does he have a debilitating chronic illness? Does he have a diagnosed mental health condition? Does he have severe learning difficulties?

If there really isn't a valid reason, then perhaps you should seriously consider what he is bringing to the relationship and whether you have a future together?

DoorKeyPad · 09/12/2022 17:50

You’re seriously going to ask people now to ruin another Christmas at short notice as you don’t expect your DH to look after your kids? It sounds like you’re planning to not be in work.
WTAF and asking colleagues to swap now.
if this is the reason, you need to evaluate your relationship if your DH can look after your kids and he’s capable

Original poster
SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 17:50

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/12/2022 17:44

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

It's a wild thought but can you not just do your job?

I want her to see that I am serious about Christmas and I want to understand what "aware" means. If there are concerns about my performance, she should be raising them with me not colleagues.

OP posts:
TugboatAnnie · 09/12/2022 17:51

A wonderful husband would be embarrassed that his mil is aware he can't cope with his own children for a few hours.

diddl · 09/12/2022 17:52

How many years have you been taking the piss Op?

Ill kids-husband looks after them

Ill husband-tough, he pushes through for a few hours or he organises help for himself.

Original poster
SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 17:52

Beancounter1 · 09/12/2022 17:50

Perhaps you could explain in a little more detail exactly why your DH is unable to cope on his own and parent his own children? I mean there must be something very wrong if you feel that you have to call your mother in.

Is he disabled or does he have a debilitating chronic illness? Does he have a diagnosed mental health condition? Does he have severe learning difficulties?

If there really isn't a valid reason, then perhaps you should seriously consider what he is bringing to the relationship and whether you have a future together?

Depression - he can't work and big days and events can be overwhelming. But he's a great dad with support

OP posts:
Hangingoninthere88 · 09/12/2022 17:52

To justify not going in at Christmas you or an immediate family member really should be dead, dying or missing a limb. Any other excuse is just bullshit. The chances of such things happening to you once is almost zero never mind several times. The fact you haven't already been sacked for this is probably a technicality tbh and if your colleagues had the choice they'd probably want rid for this

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 17:52

SHe's raising nothing with your colleagues. They are tasing it with her, and she is reassuring them.

Yoyooo · 09/12/2022 17:52

Why can't your husband look after his kids alone for one day?

As in, specifically why?

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 17:53

*raising, not tasing

jamsandwich1 · 09/12/2022 17:53

I work over Christmas every year. I’m rostered on Christmas this year and I can’t imagine falling in sick even if I was on death’s door. Let alone the kids or DH. Your poor colleagues! Step up and work it. I’d be furious if a colleague behaved as you are.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/12/2022 17:53

You shouldn't need to have this raised with you, OP. You know that what you've been doing isn't fair and you've never bothered to check in with your colleagues or manager before now.

But, now your cards are marked and there's a real risk of you actually losing your job, you're interested in their opinions all of a sudden...

Good. You've had your last unauthorised Christmas leave and you're now expected to play fair with your colleagues as you're under a microscope. About time too.

Starrystarrylights · 09/12/2022 17:54

Your husband needs to step up. Your colleagues shouldn't have to compensate because he's childish. You need to sort that out. He's clearly not wonderful.

MuckyPlucky · 09/12/2022 17:54

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/12/2022 17:53

You shouldn't need to have this raised with you, OP. You know that what you've been doing isn't fair and you've never bothered to check in with your colleagues or manager before now.

But, now your cards are marked and there's a real risk of you actually losing your job, you're interested in their opinions all of a sudden...

Good. You've had your last unauthorised Christmas leave and you're now expected to play fair with your colleagues as you're under a microscope. About time too.

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 09/12/2022 17:54

Sounds like you have just realised that you've been rumbled OP and your colleagues and manager don't believe or trust you.

Remember their disbelief and distrust is not applicable just at Christmas. Your reputation will stick with you throughout the year.

If you are truthful about gaining your reputation back, then offer to work the next couple of Christmas shifts so your colleagues can have some time off. Somehow I suspect you won't.......