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Original poster

To be shit scared I'll loose my job

331 replies

SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 16:07

We have a first come, first served for Christmas and if you work one Christmas Day you get the next off. Most of our team have children under 8.

This year its my turn to work. Howver, that every other Christmas I've been due to work recently, there has been some emergency and I've had to call in a day or so nefore Christmas. Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!

Just overheard two colleagues seriously talking about whether they "take the hit now" and offer to swap with me now or which one will be on call to cover me over Christmas, so they can manage expectations for their kids, they seemed really worried as noth have had to step in on a previous Christmas. Our team leader also overheard and just said to them that she's "aware" and will move heaven and to protect their break. (she's already working running the whole dept over Christmas so won't see her children at all, so not sure what that means)

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do? My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 09/12/2022 17:27

TheplacewhereIwant2b · 09/12/2022 17:22

Couldn't have said it better. Move mountains to work that shift and get DH to grow the fuck up.

Show quote history

Agreed. Let's hope your work reputation is salvageable.

liarliarshortsonfire · 09/12/2022 17:27

If your dh can manage to look after himself alone, go to the pub and cook beans on toast, he can look after children. Unless he has additional needs and can't be left alone himself there is no excuse what so ever as to why he can't have the children alone

MagentaRocks · 09/12/2022 17:28

Awful attitude to work and others who you have shafted over the years

Bananalanacake · 09/12/2022 17:28

So do you ever go out for the day leaving your dh in charge of the DC, if that is not possible or unthinkable you have problems.

Prescottdanni123 · 09/12/2022 17:29

I'd be devastated if I was called into work when I was supposed to have it off. It must be even more upsetting knowing that it will be another two years before you get it off again.

Your need to have a plan in place for any emergencies. If this means your DH means looking after kids through sickness then so be it .

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 17:29

TedMullins · 09/12/2022 16:09

your husband is a grown man. He needs step up and deal with any emergencies so you can work. Stop excusing his incompetence.

Absolutely this!

Why should your colleagues' family time suffer because your husband is an adult child?

Why are you enabling it?

It isn't good for you and your job, or for him or for your children. What if YOU were the one who was ill and had to (say) go into hospital? How would he manage when he's had you nursemaiding him all of your married life?

If anything happens, leave him to it. They'll survive, even if their Christmas dinner is beans on toast.

FettleOfKish · 09/12/2022 17:30

If your DH is sick, you go to work. If your DC are sick, your husband minds them while you go to work.

Only if YOU are literally at deaths door do you not go to work, especially on a day when you know someone else will have to drop everything they have planned to cover you.

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 17:30

liarliarshortsonfire · 09/12/2022 17:27

If your dh can manage to look after himself alone, go to the pub and cook beans on toast, he can look after children. Unless he has additional needs and can't be left alone himself there is no excuse what so ever as to why he can't have the children alone

Cross-posted beans!

😄

FaazoHuyzeoSix · 09/12/2022 17:32

Are you enabling your DH to be pathetic due to some kind of internalised misogyny on your own part, as if the only thing he can be capable of is lifting his ankles so you can hoover the carpet in front of his comfy chair, and perhaps carving the turkey? or does he genuinely have some kind of learning disability such that he needs a carer? If he's a grown adult and doesn't receive PIP due to needing extra help for basic functionality then he can cope with the kids while you work your christmas day shift ffs.

And yes you should look for a job somewhere that closes the whole operation down on Christmas day so that no one has to rely on you in future.

WildImaginings · 09/12/2022 17:34

If you duck out of Christmas again this year, or pressure your colleagues to switch then you deserve to be sacked.

Gazelda · 09/12/2022 17:36

How long have you worked there? How many times have you covered Christmas Day?

HauntedPencil · 09/12/2022 17:37

You just need to go to work. "You know real life" but it looks mighty suspicious if you ring it every single time. You need to go in this year even if your eyeballs are hanging out

serenaisaknobhead · 09/12/2022 17:37

"Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?"

Why? Because they don't deserve to have a break over Christmas?

You've had yours. More than one it seems.

If I were you I would be putting plans in place now to MAKE SURE I worked my shift over Christmas.

Sounds like they deserve to have this one off. Your team leader is right. Make it happen.

GiltEdges · 09/12/2022 17:38

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do?

Work the shift you’re due to work and stop making it someone else’s problem. If you flake out again, you deserve to lose your job.

InSummertime · 09/12/2022 17:39

skilpadde · 09/12/2022 16:31

Oh, OP, imagine telling on yourself like this.

You sound like an awful colleague.

Stop it with the mock-coy "Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!" excuse-making.

Sort the source of the problem, i.e. your husband, instead of expecting your colleagues to pick up the slack yet again.

Her husband is not the problem - she is.
kids ill he’s old to have a baby and children he gets to look after them.
dh ill - tough shit he still gets to do it

Me- I’m a single fucking parent with no family support and I do it myself.
I’m ill I drag myself to work and look after my kids
I’m working I pay for childcare

you knew last year that this year you were working - plenty of notice.

once every 3-4 I have a stressful event at work to be done with another colleague
he is married with adult children
I’m single with young ones

every single time he pulls out due to an unforeseen event or he is too tired etc, joke is it’s becoming a bit thin and my line manager has noticed and I mean really noticed when he did it again yesterday - golfing injury 😂meant he couldn’t do it despite golf being Sunday and yesterday being Thursday …..

he’s top management like me so should know better - but he’s going to get a right bollocking sooner or later and be forced to do them all on his own as I’m about to throw my toys out about it

step up and say you are doing Christmas Eve Christmas Day and Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve and day to make up for the last few years

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 17:40

Is this for real? Every Christmas it’s been your turn to work, you just happen to have something happen where you can’t.

Coincidences DO happen - but if it was me I wouldn't be waiting for my turn to come round on the rota again - I offer to do the following Christmas. And (failing true disaster) I'd turn up.

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2022 17:40

This year its my turn to work

It absolutely is and you should work next Christmas too.

Original poster
SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 17:40

Thank you everyone, I can see how this is damaging my reputation, especially as I have never previously offered or agreed to swap shifts at Christmas to others.

I'm going to ask my mum to stay over Christmas to help out if needed.

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

And just to be clear I would NEVER use COVID as an excuse.

OP posts:
Whatmarbles · 09/12/2022 17:40

I would be mortified if my colleagues thought of me like that.
I think embarrassment would have me looking for a new job.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/12/2022 17:41

Well this is a frothy thread, isn't it, OP? Good one!

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2022 17:42

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do

I would imagine they will say go to work. Hmm

EmilyGilmoresSass · 09/12/2022 17:42

God I always hated people like you in my last job. No doubt someone will magically get ill. Funny how it coincidentally always gets you Christmas off. Worse still that you're not even a single parent. Your husband at home and you're ringing in sick every year? Nah. You're unbelievable.

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2022 17:42

And just to be clear I would NEVER use COVID as an excuse

Well that's okay then...

TidyDancer · 09/12/2022 17:43

OP why hasn't your DH looked after your sick kids previous years and why did you need to stay home when he was sick?

If I was you I'd be offering to cover next year as well and make sure you never need to call in sick at Christmas again unless you're at death's door personally.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/12/2022 17:43

Yes, call in another WOMAN to sort out your family. It's not as if you have a husband at all, is it?

Try not to have any more children, you have more than enough with your husband's lack of coping skills.

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