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Original poster

Employee refusing to come back to work from maternity leave

185 replies

Beurre · 09/04/2022 00:50

I work in the public sector and manage a small team. One of my staff is due to come back from maternity leave next week and has just dropped a bombshell that she's unable to come back as her marriage broke down and she has no childcare. I feel really sorry for this woman as this is her first baby and have suggested to my head of department that we give her some parental leave ( until she secures childcare) given her circumstances. Sadly, my manager doesn't give a shit about anyone and is pushing me to put pressure on this employee to come back even though I know this is almost impossible. Anyone had a similar situation? Surely we can't force this employee to come back when she has no support and is on the verge of a breakdown?

OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/04/2022 00:52

She just needs to sign herself off with stress by asking the GP for a fit note. No one can force her back. Your manager is a bellend.
Can you advise her to see the GP with stress? Or would it be likely to get you in to difficulty?

ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/04/2022 00:54

BTW it happened to me with a toddler and pregnant. I asked the GP to sign me off due to stress. No issues. Signed off for 8 weeks and then started mat leave. GP was more than understanding of the terrible situation I found myself in. I went back after my mat leave by dropping hours, getting a flexible working request to do set shifts, paying a nanny and using government avaliable financial help.

TheSmallAssassin · 09/04/2022 01:02

She will have built up a load of leave on maternity, so she could take that too. I don't understand why her marriage breaking up means she has no childcare sorted though? What was she going to do if they had stayed together?

ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/04/2022 01:06

I had no childcare as my work was long days/nights. My ex worked normal hours and part time.
I'm sure that there are many other situations too that meant she had no childcare. Or maybe she even means financially because you are forced to pay up front if relying on help from UC.
OP, if it is financial difficulty in paying up front for childcare, please tell her that there is the flexible support fund from the Jobcentre. If she has claimed UC, she should ask on her journal as it isn't offered.

movingsoon13 · 09/04/2022 02:54

Make sure you support her and look up the best way to advise and support her...be very careful as if she's with a union or has legal advice and she hasn't been supported reasonably during what is a very difficult time, she could take a grievance against whoever prevented her seeking support.

Patchbatch · 09/04/2022 03:17

What did she say her plan was, just not going back? Confused. Parental leave is a few days at most, the best choice for her is to get signed off but I wouldn't get involved in suggesting this. Do you think she actually wants to return or is angling to wriggle out of paying enhanced pay back and not returning? I'd liaise with hr for their advice.

be very careful as if she's with a union or has legal advice and she hasn't been supported reasonably during what is a very difficult time, she could take a grievance against whoever prevented her seeking support.

She wouldn't win though, not having childcare or getting divorced while horrible things to go through are not protected. If her mat leave has finished then she needs to work together with work to figure something out and not just say a week before that she isn't going back.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/04/2022 09:52

Parental leave isn't "just a few days".

Original poster
Beurre · 09/04/2022 11:13

@ThisMustBeMyDream - I did think of suggesting she gets signed with stress but that would obviously land me in trouble. Hoping it comes from her!

@Patchbatch

@TheSmallAssassin - she used up all her annual leave built up during maternity and was paid. Her husband is self employed, WFH so he was due to look after the baby so they didn't need childcare.

@Patchbatch - she can apply for unpaid parental leave of upto 18 weeks but again my manager doesn't want to hear about any alternatives. She's just thinking about the 'needs of the service'.

Although not ideal, I suggested that we allow this employee to WFH until chilcare is sorted etc but again my manager hit the roof saying no chance as the employee will then completely slack. Funny enough, quite a few colleagues with young babies WFH during covid (18 months) and still fulfilled their duties.

OP posts:
Patchbatch · 09/04/2022 11:17

If 18 weeks is in policy then I'd send the colleague the policy and be supportive in them applying for it- escalate and involve HR if your manager won't approve it- if it's policy they would need provide a tangible and evidenced business rationale for refusing. I do agree with someone working from home when they have no childcare and a young child isn't ideal at all.

Original poster
Beurre · 09/04/2022 11:17

I should add, this employee is excellent at her job and desperate to return but just asking for some time to sort herself.

OP posts:
Shunter350 · 09/04/2022 11:19

Get to see her GP. Sign her off with stress. The manager is a wanker.

Bideyinn · 09/04/2022 11:21

You’re public sector, speak to HR about the options available

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 09/04/2022 11:21

Parental leave isn't 18 weeks all in one hit.

Everyone is entitled to up to 18 weeks unpaid leave for each child under the age of 18 but it's a maximum of 4 weeks per year

www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

SickAndTiredAgain · 09/04/2022 11:26

Although not ideal, I suggested that we allow this employee to WFH until chilcare is sorted etc but again my manager hit the roof saying no chance as the employee will then completely slack. Funny enough, quite a few colleagues with young babies WFH during covid (18 months) and still fulfilled their duties.

I’m with your manager on this point, although possibly for different reasons. You can’t wfh while caring for a baby and the fact people did it during covid is awful (for them and the baby, I’m not even thinking about the work), not a reason to continue doing it.

123walrus · 09/04/2022 11:26

How long is she asking to have off and what are her suggestions for securing it?

MyDcAreMarvel · 09/04/2022 11:32

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo not relevant to the op but it’s four weeks per child per year.

LittleBearPad · 09/04/2022 11:35

For the sake of a few weeks your manager is cutting off their nose etc.

Parental or unpaid leave for a month/6 weeks to sort out childcare and all will be sorted. If the manager can’t see that they are a fool and if the employee quits they won’t have a replacement any quicker

Littlesnail · 09/04/2022 11:46

Has she asked for parental leave to sort her situation out? Or has she just said she can't return?
There's a big difference imo.

TidyDancer · 09/04/2022 11:50

What is your employee suggesting as a solution?

AlternativePerspective · 09/04/2022 11:58

Although not ideal, I suggested that we allow this employee to WFH until chilcare is sorted etc but again my manager hit the roof saying no chance as the employee will then completely slack. Funny enough, quite a few colleagues with young babies WFH during covid (18 months) and still fulfilled their duties. I agree with your manager. people worked from home during COVID because they had no choice. Working from home as a resolution to childcare shouldn’t be an option during normal times.

TBH I wouldn’t be suggesting anything to her as you could be seen to be influencing her should this end up in a disciplinary etc. You need to speak to HR who will suggest what the course of action is going forward. They may well suggest unpaid leave but unless she’s actually asked for parental leave she is taking the piss a bit. You don’t just get to announce you’re not coming back for whatever reason.

Kirstos1 · 09/04/2022 12:00

How long is your employee wanting to take off though?

Its horrible what's happened to her but then childcare isn't the employers responsibility (or problem to be honest) so it's a really difficult one.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 09/04/2022 12:00

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]@HalfShrunkMoreToGo not relevant to the op but it’s four weeks per child per year.[/quote]
Completely relevant to the OP who said this earlier in the thread:

" she can apply for unpaid parental leave of upto 18 weeks but again my manager doesn't want to hear about any alternatives. She's just thinking about the 'needs of the service'."

Parkmama · 09/04/2022 12:06

Having the GP sign her off as 'unfit to work' is the best solution here. I would investigate with HR how many weeks full pay she is entitled to before this will reduce and make sure she knows all the facts. I wasn't sure if I could encourage my team to sign themselves off but our HR department said absolutely we can and should if we think they're not fit to be working (whatever the reason; physical or mental health all counts) so I would chat to your HR rep and then advise she book a GP appointment who can put her on long term sick leave. Your boss is short sighted not to do all you can to support her, especially if she's usually an excellent employee. It's inconvenient from a resource perspective but better now than force her back in and end up in chaos because she's not really fit to do the job. Give her space to sort her life out and she will appreciate this in the long term

Original poster
Beurre · 09/04/2022 12:06

I will call HR on Monday and get some advice.

@123walrus - she hasn't asked for a specific time, just said 'until I secure chilcare' but I believe that she's been looking at places. I heard that most nurseries are full until September so it might be until then.

@LittleBearPad - my manager is so petty with zero empathy. She tends to resent mums with young children even though she has kids herself. She's actually suggested that I should be less emotional just because I care about my team and their wellbeing.

OP posts:
titchy · 09/04/2022 12:08

Presumably someone was covering her role while she was on ML? Can that person stay on an extra month while she takes 4 weeks parental leave?

Tbh her original arrangements sound pretty flaky though - her ex couldn't have both worked and looked after a small baby.