Employee refusing to come back to work from maternity leave

[Beurre]

I work in the public sector and manage a small team. One of my staff is due to come back from maternity leave next week and has just dropped a bombshell that she's unable to come back as her marriage broke down and she has no childcare. I feel really sorry for this woman as this is her first baby and have suggested to my head of department that we give her some parental leave ( until she secures childcare) given her circumstances. Sadly, my manager doesn't give a shit about anyone and is pushing me to put pressure on this employee to come back even though I know this is almost impossible. Anyone had a similar situation? Surely we can't force this employee to come back when she has no support and is on the verge of a breakdown?

oviraptor21

Are GPs allowed to sign off as unfit for work for this kind of reason - that seems a bit like asking the GP to lie if the employee is fit, just without childcare.

The GP would probably write something vague on the fit note like problems at home. You’d be surprised what people manage to get sick notes for.

I don't think Op is handling this well at all. The help that can be offered can only be what is within the HR policies and the public sector WILL have such policies. Its up to the OP as line manager to identify what the employees options are and to either communicate them to her or direct the employee to whever in HR deals with it, and also maybe occy health. I have zero idea why she is asking questions on MN, its basic management 101 to check out policies and options and go from there. No she cannot be MADE to return to work but if she chooses not to benefit from the policy options available to her then her job may be terminated.

@Jellyfish15357

Don’t see why she should have to go to the GP to go off sick and get a ‘black mark’ against her record in terms of a long term sickness absence just because your manager is inflexible.

If there is a parental leave policy or unpaid leave policy this would be a better bet. HR will prob want to know about this either way. Your manager could end up in trouble for outright refusing.

parental or unpaid leave (aka "special leave") will be a maximum of a week or so and not months....also special leave is open to negotiation with the manager and can affect the job you come back to. A fit note for stress may be a better bet but again if the stress is not work related or responsive to treatment then again it may result in termination of employment on the basis that the employment is contributing to the stress. I really think the OP needs to set aside her feelings ansd her opinion of her boss, however valid and to work this through the policies.

Sadly depending on how much she’s paid the employee might find it financially impossible to work with the cost of childcare and adequate free hours unavailable for some time yet. This is a big decision to make OP, help her get as much time as possible to get things in order as you can (and not via a sick note which will impact her future employability unless this is the last option)

@RiaG91

I'm afraid I don't have any solutions for you, but I wanted to say well done to you for putting her needs first in your mind and trying to support her.

Instead of telling her to go to the Drs to request a sick note (which would get you in trouble if found out), you could insinuate it. For example, "have you reached out to your doctor to discuss things as I'm sure they'd be able to help in this situation".

Also, do you have an occupational health team internally? If you do, that's another route because they are supposed to ensure that staff are fit for work.

If this lady returns because she feels forced to with no other options (I'm sure she'll be terrified about losing her job on top of her relationship breakdown), then she may well have room for a claim against the company.

I am not sure it would get the OP into trouble. Its the benefit of working the issue through reference to the appropriate policies...so you say, as i have done, " If you feel that it would be stressful for you to return to work then you would need to see your GP or occupational health to discuss this."

At my company the options would be

• take 4 weeks unpaid parental leave. Legally this should be requested 21 days in advance and could be delayed if not suitable for the business. However, in this situation we would probably allow and ask maternity cover to stay on for 4 more weeks
• discretionary paid leave. Normally a week maximum and intended to cover something like bereavement of close family member. As the name suggest is at manager's discretion. I think it would not be offered here on the basis that the employee had already had time to explore options.

-Emergency leave - again not really relevant as not an emergency and this would only be a day or 2

• discretionary unpaid leave of longer length. Possible if OP is a long standing and valued employee. It would probably help if OP could justify her sudden need for it (i.e. she's not been burying her head in the sand for the last 3 months) and her longer term plan to come back to work.

Because now they have separated he can't take care of the baby as planned? Even for a few weeks? So now her job is in jeopardy so his Nibbs isn't inconvenienced by the existence of his own child.

That was exactly my thought too @Snazzyjazzpants

@CuddlyCactus this is a rose tinted view of divorce/separation- she might not want to put herself in this situation with her ex and is trying to be as independent as possible. You’re making too many assumptions.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childcare/4492913-ex-won-t-help-have-kids-while-i-work

So many threads like this.

parental or unpaid leave (aka "special leave") will be a maximum of a week or so and not months

You can take a maximum of 4 weeks per year but they can run consecutively. I did it twice, once post maternity leave and once when my daughter had surgery.

@Beurre

I will call HR on Monday and get some advice.

@123walrus - she hasn't asked for a specific time, just said 'until I secure chilcare' but I believe that she's been looking at places. I heard that most nurseries are full until September so it might be until then.

@LittleBearPad - my manager is so petty with zero empathy. She tends to resent mums with young children even though she has kids herself. She's actually suggested that I should be less emotional just because I care about my team and their wellbeing.

It's one thing for your manager conveying a cold style personality, but without a good and competent team, then how can successful missions and goals be achieved ?

I would want to be looking at this pragmatically. You don't say (I don't think?) what sort of role this woman does, but if she's good at it I would want to be keeping her on even if that meant a delayed return from mat leave by using some parental/unpaid leave. There is a chronic public sector skills shortage at the moment, and recruitment is the thing that has caused me the most headaches over the last 18 months or so. Could you make a business case along those lines to your boss? Presumably there must have been some maternity cover in place - could that be extended?

@Beurre

I will call HR on Monday and get some advice.

@123walrus - she hasn't asked for a specific time, just said 'until I secure chilcare' but I believe that she's been looking at places. I heard that most nurseries are full until September so it might be until then.

@LittleBearPad - my manager is so petty with zero empathy. She tends to resent mums with young children even though she has kids herself. She's actually suggested that I should be less emotional just because I care about my team and their wellbeing.

I think there's a balance between a manager having zero empathy and an employee expecting to have unspecified (possibly for 6 months) time off. A small amount (maybe the 4 weeks allowed by parental leave) of time off would be appropriate. Unlimited is not.

I’m on the fence. On one Hand I feel for the woman if what she says is true.
On the other hand the public sector is full of people abusing the generous sick pay, and also if she’s had enhanced mat pay and she doesn’t come back she has to pay it back so one wonders is she getting round that by saying she cannot return and waiting for her employment to be terminated?

A couple of weeks , maybe four unpaid to secure childcare would be reasonable.

But absolutely she can't work and loom after a baby.

There's having empathy with s difficult situation but then there is actually running an organisation.

And as for people saying go to the GP. She's not sick! She's in a difficult situation but she's definitely not sick.

@RedskyThisNight

Your manager may be right about the emotion. It really doesn't help.

@Hatinafield

I think I’d offer her four weeks unpaid parental leave. That is more than generous after a year’s paid leave tbh.

This is all she is legally entitled to. 4 weeks per year.

18 weeks is the total she can take over her child's childhood (assuming no disabilities).

I'd also strongly suggest they stick to the original arrangement temporarily until September. Why can't they do that?

4 weeks unpaid leave to get herself sorted advice about support available given.
If she goes off with stress after that OH referral to seek advice about whether she will be able to return in the foreseeable future and regular meetings to set the return date and possible adjustments temporarily. If she submits a flex working request try to accommodate.p

If she's already taken her accrued holiday, has she not ended her maternity leave anyway, OP? Just not actually returned to the office yet?

@ChicCroissant

If she's already taken her accrued holiday, has she not ended her maternity leave anyway, OP? Just not actually returned to the office yet?

Quite - if she took 6 weeks of annual leave and then takes 4 weeks of parental leave, she can take two weeks off sick and then not have to repay her maternity leave. Assuming rules are similar wherever OP works as they are in NHS (this sounds suspiciously like the NHS).

That sounds a likely scenario unfortunately, Change.

The employee is due back next week. She's not telling me exactly what happened but I'm assuming the husband just walked out on her. I've known her for over 10 years and honestly don't doubt her when she says she wants to come back apart from this awful event in her life. We have a temp covering her post but she's not great hence my manager's determination to not extend her contract.

We're part of social services team, working with vulnerable famillies so it's really important that the employee is in a good place mentally when she returns.

I agree that this isn't really my issue to deal with but I want to be supportive.

So give her four weeks unpaid to sort childcare.

That would be proportional and fair

You probably don’t know this yet OP but what is she suggesting to try and resolve this? Is she genuinely thinking it’s reasonable to stay off until potentially September on full pay? Or is it just a short period to buy her time to get her ducks in a row somehow? It’s difficult for you but I agree you have to be v careful that being supportive doesn’t backfire on you both if she ultimately doesn’t come back and/or employer starts procedures to get rid of her.

I would emphasize this to your manager. You say she isn’t concerned with staff well being just service needs, so start talking her language. Tell her that failing to support employee will almost certainly lead to her leaving and that the costs and risks of hiring someone new are not worthwhile. That a few more months of the temp or of employee wfh until childcare is sorted is a sensible investment in a key resource whose value to the organization is proven.