Employer have said I have resigned - I haven't. Urgent help please!

[Titslikepicassos]

I have a loooong thread in AIBU and received excellent support but things have escalated.

Long story short, I went on maternity leave this time last year. I had issues at work throughout my pregnancy, being shouted at and sidelined and told to move locations. Sorted it all out informally.

In March I asked to return to work early from Mat leave due to financial issues caused by lockdown. At this point my boss attempted to move me again, that didn't work and she then went back on the hours she had given me and it messed up my childcare.

I raised a formal grievance and put a flexible working request in at the same time. The company failed to do anything with my request and the grievance process was mismanaged and a data breach occurred in the middle of it, where my grievance letter was upload to a public file and seen by others.

The grievance was upheld in parts but they again tried to move me to a new location which doesnt work due to childcare issues.

I requested mediation with my boss in order to go back to work as I'm still not back 7 months later.

Today the regional director has said that they won't honour mediation and I have now resigned.

My union rep has disappeared and I received this at 16:00 today so couldn't get hold of ACAS.

Any advice would be very welcome!

@Mountaingoatling

I disagree my dear. Many, many hours will have been spent on this with senior managers. They will think more carefully. They will still be little shits but they will think hard. Is an NDA part of the agreement?

I imagine an NDA is definitely part of the settlement - we hadn't got past the financial negotiations though.

And, as always, thank you all for your posts of support and experiences. I would have caved without it

Well done @Titslikepicassos! I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision, but it sounds like the right one for you.
Take care of yourself, it's exhausting going through all that!

At least they are at the point of ralking money, rather than pretending none of it was happening. Thats progress.
Mine capitulated just before tribunal.

Make sure that if you do settle at any point you negotiate a reference that you are happy with. This will give you piece of mind moving forward.

well done OP

I took my previous employer to a tribunal and it was really hard.

But what kept me going was the thought that they could just resume doing this to anyone else, and no one would ever know how shitty they were.

I won a lot more than I expected and they had initially wanted to pay.

My case was disability discrimination.

You’re stronger than them! Think of it like he 26th mile of a marathon we can cheer you on for your last mile an beyond the finish line. Ultimately you have to do what is right for you, it sounds like you have done that.

good luck, tits. Very brave decision, and I'm sure you'll feel that you've made the right one. When's the ET?

I think you've made the right decision. Well done. As I've said before on this thread, on the information you've posted I don't see any way they can win at tribunal.

Good for you OP.

Yeah good for you - it’s shit but I really hope it kicks them very hard in the arse!

Keep going! Don’t let the bastards get you down xxx

Well done on staying strong, I'm sorry you have gone through all this, you have a lot of women behind you x

Balls of steel Tits, Balls of fucking steel 😎

I almost ended up taking my formee employer (large health charity) to ET gor disability discrimination, victimisation etc but faltered as they then lost the contract I was working under and I TUPed instead (maintained my long service, slightly more pay) but I regret not doing so now. How they treated me led to me attempting suicide. The day in court would have meant more than any amount of blood money.

Tits you’re an amazing woman. #teamTits

Think we may be needing a new thread soon!! Keep going, you have all the help you need like you said, so go get them!!

Thanks all great to hear the success stories!

No idea when the tribunal will actually be, 2022 - 2023 is the likely time frame.

I’ve delurked @Titslikepicassos to say none of this surprises me and I am pleased you are seeing it through to the bitter end.

I am a senior manager within children’s services and have been continuously discriminated against by my current employer. I have exhausted the grievance process and conciliation failed. An ET1 was submitted last month.

I have been rooting for you #TeamTits.

@LurkDeLurk - sorry you're going through this - I was a manager in children's services too (private). Not being able to say goodbye to the children I've worked with for years has been one of the hardest parts of this.

I hope you get a swift and fair resolution

It's really concerning that a service like this would discriminate against anyone on any grounds. I thought discrimination awareness was drummed in during training. To little avail it would appear.

Just an update -

The company have now offered me my bottom line figure.

Just making sure it's tax free and comes with a neutral / positive reference before I make a decision

Result!
Make sure it's a glowing reference not neutral
And an apology too.

Excellent news! And, by the way, I am sure you will have made life easier for present and future employees in the company should they find themselves in similar circumstances. Thank you for your resilience.

Yay well done

I’m so pleased for you, Tits! I’m sorry you had to go through this in the first place. It should never happened but I am glad it is being resolved in your favour.