Will anyone ever give my DH another chance

[DesperateToHelpMyHudband]

Hi I have name changed for this.

Long story for background:

My husband is in his early 50's. We have been married 25 years and have 3 teenage daughters.

When my husband was a teenager he and some other boys were convicted for armed robbery and he spent 3 years in prison.

When he was released he was determined to turn his life around and after much searching he landed a roll in the finance department of a large company. He worked his way up over the years and became a manager and a well respected member of staff. He worked his socks off and never took any time off sick.

When he applied for the job they didn't ask him if he had a criminal record and he didn't declare it. Fast forward 30 years and because of new regulations in the industry his company decided to do a retrospective criminal record check. Before they could do that he disclosed it to the senior partner in the London office. They suspended him straight away and after deliberation by a committee in a different country that have never met him they decided to get rid of him with a small pay out.

This was six months ago and he cannot get another job. Nobody is giving him a chance. He has tried everything but no luck with anything at all.

It breaks my heart. He is a totally different person to that teenager all those years ago. He was such a loyal member of staff. He worked long hours and never took a day off sick for the first 20 years and even then only because he had to.

He would be an asset to any company but is he destined for the scrap heap?

He can't even get a manual labour job. I know people will say he should work for himself but doing what ?

@Stillfunny

‘armed bank robber’. Where did the OP say that?

‘Armed robbery’ actually covers a really wide range of crime from someone saying they have a weapon and stealing a phone -right through to holding up a bank at gunpoint.

He only got 6/7 years as a young man, so it’s likely to have been something like a robbery of a corner shop (when it was closed) & having a knife on him.

Still a terrible thing to do, but nothing like holding up a bank at gunpoint.

Still a terrible thing to do, but nothing like holding up a bank at gunpoint.

Bet it didn't feel any different to the person whom he held up

He HAS been, but he’s hugely over qualified to stack shelves & flip burgers- they know he won’t stay.

Gawd, yes, only peons and untouchable peasants stack shelves and flip burgers, of course. I mean, since the job market is such an ocean full of fish for a convict in his 50s, he wouldn't dream of staying in such a low-life job with the serfs. And of course, any employer who picks up on that kind of attitude doesn't want someone like that working in their team, anyhow.

@Frenchw1fe

Both you and your dm must have been terrified.

It was horrific. Stuff like that stays with you- regardless of what a previous poster suggests. My mother still wakes screaming occasionally. Guess seeing your small child with a gun to their head is hard to shake off.

I hope they got the robbers.

They did. They committed a spate of armed burglaries. The day after they robbed my mother’s shop, they broke into a rural post office and pistol-whipped the elderly postmistress.

They were arrested and two of them were sentenced, to 5 and 7 years respectively. They each served under 3.

Must remember to lie awake tonight worrying about their employment prospects.

@AmelieTaylor

If he got 6-7 years as a “boy” then it will be at the worse end of the scale.

@Beachcomber1 less than 3 years served, that’s deplorable.
I can imagine there will be many triggers. Just seeing suspicious behaviour in a shop or bank. So, so scary.

I am in no way making light of what my husband did all those years ago but there were no people involved at all. It wasn't a gun and it was an empty premises.

I am so so sorry for what people have gone through but it was one mistake when he was very young.

He was brought up in a dysfunctional family and has done everything he could to turn his life around. He is an excellent husband and father to our children and is truly a lovely man.

Look he has made a mistake and not fallen down the rabbit hole that he could have and continued on like that
There was a time when people managed to hide their past misdeeds he wasn't born in that era.
He needs to be talking directly to charities to see what they can offer him
CAP used to run job clubs to don't have to be Christian to go along but if you can find one running locally they may be able to offer some help on finding a job he can get into

@DesperateToHelpMyHudband you can’t be guilty of the offence of robbery without use or threat of force against a person.

If your husband is minimising with employers as much as he has been with you they are going to be distrustful. He really needs to be honest.

I too think your DH has been minimising this offence as the sentencing implies a pre planned offence with high harm and high culpability.

We have no evidence that he is minimising the offence.

I do think some kind of self employment is the best idea, OP, and speaking to one or more of the specialist organisations referred to on here. See it as an opportunity for a fresh start, it's not what he would have chosen, but lots of people choose to dump a career in law or finance part way through their working lives and go and do something totally different, so he could frame it that he wanted to move on.

People need to stop suggesting charity work and contracting / consulting. Senior level jobs involving finance in all of these require background checks.
OP - what level/title was his previous role? And where are you based? After 30 years I presume he was quite senior on six figures? I’m ex big-4 and run my own business so trying to put my thinking cap on here on options but need a bit of practical info to work on.

I work with ex-offenders, I recommend that he gets in touch with the Shaw Trust to see if they can help.

There are grants available for ex-offenders to help them set up their own company and that offer financial help in times like this. He should look on the turn to us website.

There are a lot of big firms that 'ban the box' I know that Greggs do and I'm sure there are others that might be more suited to your DH's line of work.

We also have a few recruitment agencies that work with ex-offenders but they tend to be for more entry level roles. I recommend that he considers volunteering in the interim, and ensure that he is getting the right level of benefits for his current situation. Good luck

OP I cant find a job either, degree, postgrad, background in banking.

Mid forties and I dont even get a response. It. Might not be the conviction!

The Blessed Cheesemaker how do I send you a PM ?

Last year was the worst year I've seen for jobs. Many of my very good and highly experienced contacts on LinkedIn were struggling. It does look like things are turning around now.

@Juliette20 yes we do.

You cannot be convicted of robbery without the use or threat of violence against a person.

A sentence of 6+ years for a juvenile is unusual, suggesting that this was at the serious end of the scale.

No we don't. The OP acknowledges that the time served could have been longer and that it was therefore a serious offence. What more do you want, a public flogging? Well done for failing to add anything constructive and virtually having a go at the wife of an ex offender from the safety of your bedroom, you brave keyboard warrior, you.

Crikey @Juliette20 get a grip eh?

After 30 years of successful employment any new employers concern won’t be that OPs DH might go and rob a bank, it will be that he cannot be trusted.

Anyone with even a passing understanding of the criminal justice system will know that you don’t get convicted of robbery and serve 6 years as a youth without it being violent.

If OPs DH misrepresents and/or minimises his offence that will only serve to disadvantage him further. He needs to be honest when invited.

Advising on the need to transparent is certainly more constructive than your ridiculous outburst

I wonder if agency work is the way to go. I was offered a management job before my 3 year sentence was spent. During my time in prison I was cleared to do teacher training and in fact taught in higher education for a while before the college stopped offering the graduate course I taught. after that I did various temping work - all very interesting but at a lower level. During this time I was offered jobs by everyone I worked for and i'm now a a manager in a sector I didn't think would be open to me. I've been asked about the conviction and I produce my DBS certificate but never once have I been asked about what I actually did (didn't) do. Your husband should be very proud of the way he turned his life around. I found the charity "Unlocked" very helpful with things like insurance etc. They are manned by ex prisoners who are very understanding. After 30 years i don't think for a minute any prospective employers would want any more than the bare details of the offence. It would be different if he had just come out of prison. Professions that we were told are receptive to ex prisoners are: town and country Planning, teaching, counselling ( they offered a counselling qualification in our prison education department) Anything public sector except social work and some care posts. To begin with I thought I would never recover workwise from my sentence but I retrained and now our financial situation is not much different than before. Good luck to your DH, OP.

You cannot be convicted of robbery without the use or threat of violence against a person.

Has it changed from 30years ago. My perception (could be wrong) was that judges were able to put their own 'mark' on judgments more so back then.