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Original poster

Is my HoD being unreasonable in wanting me to go in for a meeting while still on maternity leave?

70 replies

Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 14:51

Esp. bearing in mind that I will have to bring one or both children with me?
Is this normal? Has he not really thought it through, do you think?
Would I look like I'm being unco-operative if I refuse or at least say that what with childcare issues it will have to be on my terms?

OP posts:
ricepuddingpaddington · 14/08/2007 14:54

Not exactly sure of the legal position here but it is morally dodgy of him. And also - think what a terrible precedent you will set for all other mothers at your workplace in the future - "Well, kathy came in when she was on maternity, why can't y0ou?" etc. UNless you really want to do this, I'd say no TBH.

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 14:56

I should have been clearer - it's a meeting about my role, what my plans are for study leave (which I have when I come back) etc, rather than simply a random work meeting.
Does that make a difference?

OP posts:
Easywriter · 14/08/2007 14:56

Sorry to be blunt.

You are pregnant and on maternity leave.

He is being a muppet.

Dress up your excuse how you like but I really don't think he's being even slightly reasonable.

If it were me I'd decline but ask him for a post meeting briefing of what happened at the meeting.

Easywriter · 14/08/2007 14:57

Oh, just read that post.

Can't it wait till you get back?

crokky · 14/08/2007 14:58

Can you do the meeting over the phone?

Earlybird · 14/08/2007 14:59

Could you have the conversation by 'phone?

Earlybird · 14/08/2007 14:59

snap crokky!

ricepuddingpaddington · 14/08/2007 14:59

Can't he come to your house if its that desperate?

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:05

LOL Paddington - unfortunately I live 2 hours away (I do a weekly commute) so not much chance of that.

Anyway he just rang up to fix it up and I've agreed to do it BUT been quite strict about when (no way am I getting up early enough to get there for a 9am meeting ) and I've told him quite clearly that I will have to either arrange childcare or bring one or both children with me.

I just really feel that he DOESN'T GET IT - children don't just disappear when you want to have a grown-up chat

He is nice boss but gay and therefore childless....

OP posts:
Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:06

....except I didn't end up coming over all assertive - I was more like 'it'll be fine if I bring the baby, honestly, he won't stop us having the conversation.'
oh bugger bugger bugger.....

OP posts:
mrsbabookaloo · 14/08/2007 15:09

Kathy: what about Skype?

mrsbabookaloo · 14/08/2007 15:09

Kathy: what about Skype?

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:10

what is Skype?

OP posts:
Kbear · 14/08/2007 15:12

I think there are rules about working whilst receiving maternity pay, you might want to make sure you are "allowed" work whilst on mat leave. I'm sure there was an issue at my work place once about this.

mrsbabookaloo · 14/08/2007 15:13

Sorry about double post.

But what about Sykpe?...just kidding.

Was going to add with second post that I went into work while on maternity leave for my going back to work chat and took dd with me, and if it's a meeting about your work situation, I don't think it's that unreasonable, but it IS impractical. It's two hours away and you won't be able to have a proper conversation with 1 or 2 children.

Hey, what about Skype...? Tee hee.

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:14

F* me you're right, KBear - when I wanted to continue supervising my PhD students they told me in no uncertain terms I wasn't allowed to for exactly that reason.
So how come this is different?

OP posts:
mrsbabookaloo · 14/08/2007 15:15

Oops: all the while I'm buggering about sending a silly post when I'm being asked a proper question: it's video conferencing, so you do it online and you can talk and see each other. You can do it with Yahoo Messenger too if you have a webcam.

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:16

Thank you MrsB.
I think with just the baby I probably could have a conversation, and I'm sure the office staff or some random student or someone would be happy to play with him if necessary. But it is a huge PITA.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:18

Oh I see. Don't have a webcam though! Actually, that would be the worst of all worlds because my toddler is v keen on my computer and I can't have it on with her around without her wanting to press M for Mummy over and over again....

But now I know what Skype is, thanks

OP posts:
wheelsonthebus · 14/08/2007 15:20

i think there is legal requirement now for 'keeping in touch' days, where you see yr employer a couple of times during maternity leave. Yr boss is probably just trying to do the legal thing

mrsbabookaloo · 14/08/2007 15:20

Yes, it was a stupid idea. Don't know why I suggested that, really: I can't use the computer when dd is around, because she likes to turn the printer on and off and try to strangle herself with the cables. That's why I come to work!

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:22

Ah that's interesting Wheels. That is fair enough then.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 14/08/2007 15:24

There is provision for 10 'keeping in touch days' during your maternity leave, but these are only by mutual consent - your employer can't impose them.
Sounds like you have reached some agreement though, which is good considering the type of meeting it is.

wheelsonthebus · 14/08/2007 15:26

kathy - this is from the Gov website (sorry - can't do links)

Keeping in touch
During your leave it is often helpful to keep in touch with your employer. Your employer is entitled to make reasonable contact with you during maternity leave. This might be to discuss such things as arrangements for your return to work, or to update you on any significant changes in the workplace while you've been away.
If the week your baby is expected to be born starts on or after 1 April 2007, you are entitled to do up to ten days work during your maternity leave without losing maternity pay or bringing your leave to an end.

These 'keeping in touch days' may only be worked if both you and your employer agree. Although particularly useful for things such as training or team events, they may be used for any form of work and should make it easier to return to work after your leave. You will need to agree with your employer what work is to be done on Keeping in Touch Days and how much pay you will receive

Original poster
Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2007 15:32

That's really interesting about the 'keeping in touch' days - it sounds like they are something new, and a really good idea.
Judging by that it sounds like if they'd been around earlier (ds was born in Dec 06) I could have used them to see PhD students, too. Oh well.

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