Au pair / nanny duties -- am I being reasonable?

[CassieD]

WOndered if some other working mums with au pairss/nannies could lend their opinions on what is a resonable expectation. Our Au Pair / nanny is expected look after our 18 month old daughter from 7:00am until 7:00pm whilst I am at work. My husband generally leaves for work in Birmingham on Monday morning and returns on Thursday night, and works from home on Friday. So we expect a lot in terms of hours. She lives with us.

These are her duties:
Look after the toddler (including taking her to music class, tumble tots, church toddler group, swimming, etc.)
Keeping the kitchen clean, which includes doing my dishes
Laundry for the whole family, including ironing and putting away.

She does not vaccuum, dust scrub, clean the bathrooms, was the kitchen floor, etc. That, in my opinion, is the job of a cleaner (which am now about to seek -- I've never had one but I'm fed up woth my dirty house so I'm going to get one).

Last night I asked to her to fill out a sheet each day that had things like what dd eats for each meal, morning activities, afternoon activities, when she slept, ahen and what she watched on tv, and a space for other comments (like her mood and if she was in poor health, etc). Well, the nany said "no". She said she had enough to do and that didn't want to fill this form out.

I got the idea of this form from friends, who get a similar form every day when they pick their child up at nursery. I think it is perfectly reasonable for me to want to be informed each day. I am gone all day, so this is my way of knowing what dd does with her day. I need to know these things. Like, if she hates tumble tots, I need to know so I'm not forcing her to be miserable. This isn't the case with tumble tots, but if it was, I would need to know.

I also think that it is possible that the problem is partly a language barrier, and the new nanny (who has only recently started with us -- she is from Estonia) is actually objecting to having to write in enlgish, rather than just speak it.

I know that often au pairs are asked to do more of the house cleaning, but then I do realise that a toddler is a lot more work than older children.

Did anyone use an au pair / nanny when their children were toddlers? Am I being resonable? Or am I expecting too much?

Hello,
Don't mean to bring this thread back to life, but it seemed the most appropriate place to post me return. When I left (smoking mad I might add), I removed all of the information from my profile, including my e-mail address. So, I've obviously decided to give it another go but I couldn't reinstate the e-mail address. I also couldn't use my same userid again. So, I had to think of a new one.

So, yes, I'm CassieD, and I've returned as Uwila.

I just thought I should explain all of this rather then pretending to be someone I'm not.

This thread brought back memories...I used to be a nanny - full time - live in, in London and I can remember one job I had sole resp. of 2 year old twins 12 hours a day Mon - Fri. I found them exhausting but good fun.But on top of all of their duties ( which I had no problem with) the mum expected me to do all the household washing and ironing even though she had a cleaner too. Although I tried to explain that wasn't in a nanny's remit ( I was a NNEB) she thought as the cleaner didn't do it I should.
I'm not suggesting anyone else feels this way but a cleaner and a nanny are two very different jobs if done properly and if a cleaner wouldn't expect to take care of small children likewise a nanny shouldn't be expected to do the adults ironig and dishes.....
Remember this person spends all day with your kids and you don't want her resenting you and not being as positive with the kids as she should be...

I ended up paying another nanny friend to come over to where I lived and doing the ironing for me! The mum never found out and I only stayed in the jod as I liked the kids

I ended up paying another nanny friend to come over to where I lived and doing the ironing for me! The mum never found out and I only stayed in the JOB as I liked the kids

Hey Uwila, glad to see you are back.

I read som eof the replies but not all. I have an Aupair who is basically ther to ease my passage of life everyday(i work) and she takes care of house and 3 kids. She works hard the kids come home for lunch everyday and she has to cook a full meal (we don't live in UK) She also tidies and does house work very well.Somedays she ahs bad days but we talk and we communicate. She is aslo eastern European . I think you are ebing too hard. You shoud trust her and let her help your child, ask her questions, making her writie it all down is going ot make her feel undermined. If you are willing to go out to work then you have to be prpared to leave your child in capable hands. Tale a day off and go to Tumble tots and see for yourself whe^ther your child enjoys it. Thats what I do and I catch up with my work in the evenings

I work as a nanny and i think what you are expecting of your "au pair/nanny" is terrible. an au pair is expected to work a few hours a day helping out around the house and with the childcare in return for a small sum of money along with her room and board. however, a nanny is a proffessional child carer who should only be expected to do child related duties and is there to have sole charge of your child for as many hours as necassary. What you are doing is expecting this poor woman to do 12 hours of sole charge on top of all the normal au-pair duties and paying her a pittance! Its a complete abuse of the syatem & its not fair. I think that you should give the woman the credit she deserves and employ her as a full time nanny & pay her accordingly. Then, you are well within your rights to ask her to fill in a "nanny diary", and perhaps if she is being paid properly she will be more inclined to do it!

You know you could always get 2 au pairs,6 hrs a day each at £60 per wk each.When i lived in London loads of mums did it as it was still cheap for the hours you got,the girls were happy,could swap shifts etc and they still had plenty of free time and company.....just a thought
Although have to say the kids in the families were slightly older