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Workplace Bullying - Support Thread

133 replies

daisychain01 · 23/11/2018 18:00

Bullying at work is rife. I won't number-crunch but it costs employers £M / annum, and it costs employees dearly in terms of harm to their mental wellbeing and finances if they are driven out of their job.

If you have experienced any of the following, you are likely to have been subjected to bullying:

Being made to feel worthless, inadequate, useless at your job, incompetent, making you doubt yourself and your capabilities.

Being compared negatively to colleagues, esp more junior to you, "If they can work faster/pick things up quicker/understand things easier, why can't you?"

Being isolated, disenfranchised, ignored, often as a form of punishment, while colleagues are treated noticeably fairly and courteously.

Being set up to fail, being given objectives then changing them so radically it makes your job untenable. Feeling "damned if you do, damned if you don't". Whatever you try to do, they want the opposite.

Being given authority, but then disempowered, by going over your head to your direct reports, often in front of them.

Subject to derogatory sexist remarks, designed to minimise contribution skills and qualifications. This is harassment, for which you have protection in law.

Bullying is insidious, difficult to detect or prove. It is invariably minimised by the perpetrator with comments like "I didn't mean it like that", "you're just too sensitive, can't you take a joke?", "sorry I was having an off-day".

Bullying is a form of emotional abuse.

This thread is a safe place for a handhold or to seek practical advice. It isn't always necessary to resign to escape, there are other ways. It will depend on the individual situation. You may not want to share all the details, don't worry about the AIBU dripfeed, you won't be ostracised on here if you need to keep things brief, change a few details or giving disclosure only to your comfort level.

OP posts:
madamehooch · 13/06/2020 05:45

I work in a retail environment. I've been there 20 years - 12 consecutively.

I was once the golden girl. Not any more.

A role I had done for many years and successfully was taken away from me without consultation or thanks. Just called me in and told me you're not doing it any more.

Comments such as "you did really well in this shop but we have higher standards. "

Doesn't seem much written down but it's a constant drip drip of comments and behaviour that make me feel frustrated and worthless.

Many of my colleagues have just been recalled from furlough including those who work at other branches and have been allocated a position at my base store. I am being kept on furlough and am waiting for the inevitable.

They've seized the opportunity to create their dream team.

I'm 50 and lost after working for 38 years.

TeddyGizmo · 16/06/2020 18:41

I would never raise a grievance for bullying after I saw what another colleague went through and how long it took.
Sadly, bullies seem to get away with it as they are usually high performing.
Easier to get rid of the complainant.

nextslideplease · 16/06/2020 19:40

yes @TeddyGizmo

18 months so far for me

no end in sight

tribunal claim submitted, on hold due to covid

Clove20 · 17/06/2020 19:13

I have been experiencing the worst treatment in my work place over the last 6 months. I have worked for the company since April 2018, and all has been fine (including receiving lots of positive feedback) until I got a new manager in October 2019. Several things have happened but I'll try keep it short.

  1. In January I was told by my manager that my work wasn't "up to standard" and since then I have sent 4 emails to my manager asking for support to "get upto standard". She has not replied to any of my emails regarding this.
  1. In February, she refused to authorise my leave request for a day in the half term week because "another member of the team might want time off that week"
  1. In March I found out I was pregnant just before the country went in lockdown. And 3 days before the lockdown I was telling her how worried I was about Covid and the pregnancy. I was only 6 weeks pregnant at the time, and because there was no guidance being sent out about how we work safely I told her I would seek some health advise. (My job is a public facing role and we hot desk). She asked me to provide her with written evidence of the health advise I got and the pregnancy. My GP practice was not offering anything apart from a telephone consultation and they asked me to ring 111 for any Covid related advise. So I told my manager that they wouldn't offer me an appointment until I was 8 weeks pregnant. Her response to me was "health are unlikely to see you until you're 12 weeks as it's not deemed as viable"
  1. When schools were closed as part of the lockdown, we were asked to work from home. Since that time I've continuously said to her that I was struggling with working from home and homeschooling/generally looking after a 6 year old. She offered me no support or guidance other than at one point sending me an email to say there's an expectation that I work from 9-5 with a 34 mins break. I told her that my partner is a key worker and he still had to work so it was just me on my own at home.
  1. I then had a total of 5 weeks off between April and June because of hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) and scaitica which my GP also thinks was pregnancy related because I've never had it. And on my first day back she told me I had triggered my absence for sickness and would need to book a meeting. And then spent the rest of my return interview asking me why certain things weren't done, and after I said to her that I had been off for 5 weeks and before then I'd been telling her I was struggling...her response was "you didn't tell me it would impact on your work"

The stuff I've explained amongst other things which I've been writing down over the last 6 months has really affected my confidence in what I'm doing at work and the constant negative feedback I'm getting from her is affecting me.

I find myself asking if I've read too much into what she's said and done, or if I should be raising this all because it's wrong.

Please help x

LOVELYDOVEY05 · 16/07/2020 12:04

I am now going to give you all a real shock. I hope no one is upset by this.
When I asked for help via my Staff Rep he refused AND came to my home putting me down in front of my not so young mother. You can claim for this eg any effect at all on your family. In my case this was my private home.

theethanguy · 19/08/2020 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

[AUTO]9h77rke1h9a10 · 19/08/2020 17:23

I just did a separate post about what I'm going through - i feel for everyone experiencing this its just horrible

brightfuture1 · 28/08/2020 18:08

That's partly why i do a lot of contracts- never see them again after 6 months

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