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Original poster

Is maternity leave sexist ?

360 replies

mozhe · 21/05/2007 00:38

I think so.....surely it should be parental leave that is available to both parents,( or maybe even members of the wider family network, like grandparents ? ), and there should be financial incentives to encourage both parents to take it. What do other people think ? Instead of trying to make maternity leave longer should we not focus on supporting parents back into work sooner and providing better/cheaper/more appropriate childcare...

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 21/05/2007 23:50

Well it's good of you to make those concessions Xenia, but I wasn't fit for at least 3 months and I did have a natural birth, just a very traumatic one. I needed that time to learn to bond with and feed my son. Feeling pressured into going back to work sooner would have destroyed what relationship we had at that stage.

And I love my job btw, but I do to put food on the table. I feel no obligation to my cr*p employer. And incidentally what good is it to an employer having a mother back at work who's desperately trying to function on two hours sleep a night? Because it is inevitably the mother who's up most of the night with the baby.

LongDistanceClara · 21/05/2007 23:50

I got 18 weeks on full pay and 8 weeks on SMP.

I made sure I'd saved up another month's money and got a bonus which helped too.

If you're earning shedloads (which I wasn't, but not too bad), you have your pregnancy (eight months of it?) plus any time you are ttc to make sure you've saved up a bit. I do understand that in some fields you don't want to be out of the workplace too long for fear of not being promoted, keeping up-to-date with relevant job-related information, etc.

I did leave it a bit long to go back with DS2 and fell into a bit of a financial nightmare, but it's better now.

unknownrebelbang · 21/05/2007 23:51

You ARE undertaking an experiment aren't you Mozhe?

LongDistanceClara · 21/05/2007 23:51

Oh, and had I chosen not to go back, I didn't need to repay the extra.

Twinklemegan · 21/05/2007 23:54

Actually I only went back because I'd have had to repay the half pay I got from 6 to 18 weeks. I'm glad I did now though because things are a whole lot better than they were when I was pregnant. But I'd have had to get another job if I'd left that one.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/05/2007 00:12

ROFL at men taking paternity leave "like a man"

can I also point out to fannyannie, that even sat at a nice "comfy" desk in an office is not so comfy - if you have SPD and are on crutches.....

I could have worked up until my due date, but, it would have very much increased my chances of dying from un-treated pre-eclampsia. Plus, the having to use crutches on the underground whilst carrying a laptop + paperwork was becoming increasingly difficult.

But, I bow to the greater skills of those mothers who think it is a breeze to work up until due dates, and go back to work soon after giving birth.

I dont feel like I am missing out. I dont feel downtrodden, and I dont think maternity leave is sexist.

fannyannie · 22/05/2007 00:13

VVV - I know I was being sarcastic towards the OP'er - I did also say in another post that she's obviously been 'lucky' and had problem free pg's.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/05/2007 00:16

I know

But, I felt the need to vindicate us lightweight office workers anyway

Judy1234 · 22/05/2007 08:27

VVV, but that's rare. Women are relatively fit enough to sit at desks until they give birth. Actualy it's easier than looking after 2 toddlers and cleaning the house...except I suppose you deny yourself the chance to do that 40 weeks "need" to do nesting/extra housework because the baby is imminent.

southeastastra · 22/05/2007 08:31

'Women are relatively fit enough to sit at desks until they give birth'.

i disagree with that! my back was agony sitting on that chair at work from about 26 weeks. i still think that's why i have a bad back now sometimes and i'm fit.

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 22/05/2007 08:44

Has it occurred to anyone that women are relatively fit up to labour precisely because they take that month or so beforehand to rest.

If they didn't, they wouldn't be relatively fit, now, would they?

harpsichordcarrier · 22/05/2007 08:50

"should we not focus on supporting parents back into work sooner and providing better/cheaper/more appropriate childcare..."

No. Next question.
What could be more "appropriate" childcare in the first year than the baby's mother?

casbie · 22/05/2007 09:02

i would like paid maternity pay to be equal to my wages instead of 90% for 6 weeks and then £105 per week thereafter.

i am the sole earner in my household (as my hubby is a house-husband) so to make my maternity pay fair - i would like my actual maternity pay to be same or similar to my wages. otherwise the governement is actually sending the message that it's okay to return to work after 6 weeks and only the wealthy can afford more time than that.

i managed to save up and took 3 months off with second and 6 months off with third, but i would have loved the maximum 6 and now 9 months maternity leave, without leaving my family poorer for it!

that is the sexist part! if men gave birth they would want full or similar pay to replace their income to the household.

my maternity pay didn't even pay the household bills - totally unrealistic!

squiffy · 22/05/2007 09:14

My mate in Sweden managed to get his wife and his mistress up the duff at the same time and he got a whole year off. Now that's class.

Eleusis · 22/05/2007 09:41

I think the reason that the government doesn't give men 6 weeks of 90% is because men make more money and it would therefore cost them a lot more money if they also offered this perk to men. But, I firmly believe it is the only way men will start taking leave. And only when men start taking the same leave that women take, will employers start treating women the same.

Why is it that a man returning in two weeks is perfectly normal but a woman returning in two weeks is to be shunned? That is most certainly sexist in my book.

Judy1234 · 22/05/2007 11:50

casbie, true and I went back at 2 or 3 weeks by choice. We have fairly low paid maternity pay here. Some jobs (advise your daughters well by the way which jobs to take) in the City and perhaps some public services give longer on full pay which can make a big difference to staff retention particularly if you have to pay it back if you don't go back. That works too and is fair.

on the DTI site in the section about the new additional paternity leave for men (probably coming in 2009) are all those questions dealt with - like what if he's pretending it's his child, what if he had sex in the Nobu broom cupboard for 8 minutes and then nothing more to do with her etc. I suppose for some religions where you have 2 or 3 wives you might continuously have one pregnant so could time it so you get your 6 months at £112 a week for the next 20 years??? I'm joking.

Eleusis · 22/05/2007 12:21

Hey, do they have a nice broom cupboard at Nobu?

sauce · 22/05/2007 12:22

Hell, mat leave isn't sexist! It's bloody necessary! Give me a break.

Sorry for not reading thread.

Judy1234 · 22/05/2007 12:40

I've never had sex in it but it was apparently where a tennis player conceived his child with a stranger. Beware where you spread your seed or may be if babies mean paid time off for men they'll be impregnanting women left right and centre to get their meal ticket. Nice reversal.

Eleusis · 22/05/2007 12:43

Not if you let the mother choose who gets the paid leave. Besides, if you shag a tennis player in the Nobu closet, surely you will get more in child support than he gets in paternity leave.

fannyannie · 22/05/2007 12:53

"Some jobs (advise your daughters well by the way which jobs to take)"

What??? So women should choose their jobs by how good the maternity pay is??? Great so we end up with a whole load of women in 'good' jobs - but which they hate.........

potoroo · 22/05/2007 13:16

To be honest I think the 'working until term unless you have a doc's certificate' is a red herring.
Under the new maternity laws, those that want to work until they give birth can. Those that want to leave at 29 weeks can. Surely an individual can judge if they are capable of working or not? Its not going to change the length of their leave, paid or unpaid.

Besides, I'm sure if you went to a doc/MW and said 'I'm 36 weeks and too tired to work anymore' they would certainly give you a certficate. Why wouldn't they? Wouldn't be worth the risk of being sued if something went wrong...

VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/05/2007 13:17

Indeed..

Define a "good job" please! Your definition, and then the definition that suits all women, across the board.

Judy1234 · 22/05/2007 13:21

You can pick jobs where you're on the minimum wage and get 6 weeks at 90% pay or you can pick jobs where potentially you'll earn a lot more and give 3 months on full pay when you have babies. Lots of women look at those sorts of issues when they are choosing jobs. On another thread here there is what advice would you give to your daughter and many have said get her to pick teaching say so she has the holidays etc (.. not that I'd say that). It's certainly a factor for some people.

Why not pick a fun job that pays a huge amount and allows you to have a great life, good nannies etc than something else which is badly paid and you might even hate.

fannyannie · 22/05/2007 13:24

yes - I've got one of those (not quite as low as) minimum wage jobs - I love my line of work and positively HATE the thought of being stuck at a desk (fair play to those that enjoy it).

I have a great life - and don't need a nanny - some of us don't see money as the be all and end all of having a 'good life' you know.

And I know plenty of women in well paid jobs which they HATE.